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Original poster

We're going to get covid aren't we

51 replies

tyyyyyyvsdgrvhdxgdx · 13/12/2021 20:44

Obvious name change due to this being outing.

My partner went to a gig in London this weekend. I asked him not to go due to all the covid stuff but it caused a huge row & he went anyway.

I don't even really care about covid & we've worked throughout but we're going to end up isolating over bloody Christmas. DS first Christmas he has any idea what's going on & he's so excited. I'm just full of pure rage.

We're both double vax but with AZ - neither of us eligible for a booster yet.

Apparently he's going to his Christmas party (a night out) next week as well plus other social events.

I understand it's Christmas but he's going to ruin my 2 weeks off isolating with bloody covid. I physically hate him right now but what can I do? Leave him? I couldn't find somewhere else to live before Christmas anyway.

It's pretty certain he's going to have picked it up isn't it? Omicron is the dominant variant in London now. My mum is CEV & looks after our son and I'm so worried he will make her I'll.

I'm just ranting really. I'm so angry I'm just sad.

OP posts:
Cookerhood · 13/12/2021 20:47

Of course he won't necessarily have caught it, but he is being thoughtless.

Theblacksheepandme · 13/12/2021 20:51

What do you mean when you say you don't really even care about Covid?

Original poster
tyyyyyyvsdgrvhdxgdx · 13/12/2021 20:58

Jeez so many typos - my internet is being a nightmare.

I mean I usually wouldn't be so worried about catching covid. It's inevitable at some point due to work. It's just that I don't want it now, for Christmas.

I've worked so hard the last few months & saved all my leave for Christmas to spend it with DS & our family in our new home and DS is so excited.

I'm just angry that I've had a shit couple of years. My maternity was ruined by covid. Going back to work in a pandemic has been hell. I've worked Christmas (apart from when I had a newborn) every year for 7 years and I just wanted to give my son some memories.

His whole existence has been over shadowed by living in covid and I the thought of it taking another Christmas has just sent me over the edge.

I'm so angry at DP it's unreal. I can't see how he won't have caught he. He's been in a venue with literally hundreds of other people mixing plus all the pubs / bars before hand and afterwards.

Our vaccinations are effectively useless London is basically a hot spot.

What do I even do? I feel like this is going to ruin my relationship but I'm just beyond angry.

OP posts:
valnevavaxx · 13/12/2021 21:08

OP I work in the office in London 5 days a week and have a pretty active social life and I've not caught it yet (I do daily LFTs). He's been careless but it's not a foregone conclusion that he's definitely going to get it.

Suzi888 · 13/12/2021 21:13

He may not DH has been around many people with covid and hasn’t (as far as know, he does the lateral flows and PCR’s on occasion).
I can sort of see both sides, he is being thoughtless BUT we were told to get the vaccines and get our freedom back.
Would your DH pay for childcare so that your DM isn’t at risk? Could you stay with your DM?

Theblacksheepandme · 13/12/2021 21:17

I think you're main problem at the moment is that you have a partner that is not considerate of your feelings. Have you got angry with him over this or have you sat down and expressed all your concerns with him? Sometimes when we get angry it can just get the other person all defensive and get angry back. I think it's important you try to sit down together tonight and talk.

CheesyFootballsAreEvil · 13/12/2021 21:23

Can you move out to a hotel?

LobsterNapkin · 13/12/2021 21:24

I can understand feeling that he could be more cautious when Christmas coming up, but chances are he hasn't actually caught it.

It might help to think about why someone might not be more cautious under those circumstances. A lot of people at this point are fatalistic, they know they are going to be exposed eventually, most likely in places like work or others they can't avoid and have no control over. And they think, I am not going to stop doing things to enjoy life or give so much brain space to second guessing things I want to do all the time. When I get it it is sure to be a bad time, so why drive myself crazy?

R0tational · 13/12/2021 21:27

Chill out

sociallydistained · 13/12/2021 21:34

I understand your worries and how it would be a nightmare if that happened but your partner clearly doesn’t want to miss out on his works do etc and I think that’s fair 😬

Can you stay away from him? Make him rest daily if he gets it you and your son crack on you don’t have to be isolated if you don’t catch it.

BlackCatz · 13/12/2021 21:38

I can't see how he won't have caught he. He's been in a venue with literally hundreds of other people mixing plus all the pubs / bars before hand and afterwards

I was in rammed (literally chest to chest) nightclub at the start of the month with several people. We're all totally fine.

There's still over 50 million people in this country that haven't had Covid.

Chill.

BlackCatz · 13/12/2021 21:38

I can't see how he won't have caught he. He's been in a venue with literally hundreds of other people mixing plus all the pubs / bars before hand and afterwards

I was in rammed (literally chest to chest) nightclub at the start of the month with several people. We're all totally fine.

There's still over 50 million people in this country that haven't had Covid.

Chill.

Amberflames · 13/12/2021 21:38

OP try not to put so much pressure on yourself for Christmas. As long as your child gets some presents they can play with at home they’ll just be happy they get to spend the time with you. It’s not ideal but it certainly doesn’t need to be a disaster.

Original poster
tyyyyyyvsdgrvhdxgdx · 13/12/2021 21:38

There's no way I could afford to move to a hotel. And to be honest denying him access to his son for 10 days over Christmas isn't really fair - on him or DS and would ruin his Christmas anyway and likely cause a much bigger issue.

I've not been directly angry to him. I basically said I didn't want him to go and laid out my concerns and why I was worried about the risk at this particular time and how much I needed this break over Christmas. I said ultimately it was his choice but I hoped he'd reconsider. I really honestly thought he would just let it go. It wasn't a special visit or outing or anything.

I'm just so angry and my resentment is building not getting less.

I've asked him to do LFT on day 3, 5 & 7

There's no way I can find alternative childcare for my son at short notice in the build up to Christmas. I can't just not work, it's just not an option.

I think my DM is a main factor in the resentment im feeling. She wants to look after DS and he wants to go to her as well. We talked at length about the risk my work would pose to her and she decided that if we tested regularly she was comfortable with it. Obviously I don't suppose she'd feel the same about this and I don't think it's fair to put her at risk for no good reason (in my opinion).

OP posts:
Original poster
tyyyyyyvsdgrvhdxgdx · 13/12/2021 21:41

I could isolate away from in the home but my son can't as he's a baby and we have to share childcare (shift workers). If my son gets it I'm going to get it - I'm breastfeeding him still.

The start of the month and this weekend are vastly different to be honest.

OP posts:
Cookerhood · 13/12/2021 21:43

My son was doing the same at the weekend but my assumption is that he won't get it.

Somebodylikeyew · 13/12/2021 21:46

Could you and your son move in with your Mum?

FelicityBob · 13/12/2021 21:52

Honestly you sound OTT
He may not get it.
If he does, you’ll still have Christmas with your child

Original poster
tyyyyyyvsdgrvhdxgdx · 13/12/2021 21:53

I can't move in with my mum. She doesn't have the space, we would both be sleeping on the sofa or would be kicking her out her own bed. Neither of which are great options. & this would likely infuriate DP. He would want access to his son during the 10 days so what difference would it make other than probably cause an even bigger argument.

The only sensible option would be for DP to go and stay elsewhere but he's declined to do so.

OP posts:
BlackCatz · 13/12/2021 21:58

@tyyyyyyvsdgrvhdxgdx

I can't move in with my mum. She doesn't have the space, we would both be sleeping on the sofa or would be kicking her out her own bed. Neither of which are great options. & this would likely infuriate DP. He would want access to his son during the 10 days so what difference would it make other than probably cause an even bigger argument.

The only sensible option would be for DP to go and stay elsewhere but he's declined to do so.

Not much you can do then.
LibbyL92 · 13/12/2021 22:01

Op I live in London. I got Covid on the 22nd of November. I live with my boyfriend who never got it.

Doesn’t necessarily mean you’re guaranteed to get Covid just because you’ve been exposed to it.

I’ve also been exposed to lots of children in school last year and sent home to isolate. Again I never picked it up until very recently.

Buzzinwithbez · 13/12/2021 22:12

It's doesn't follow that either of you will get it. I've been to lots of sweaty gigs when I could and failed to get it. My kids have been to school and college with known exposures and failed to get it.

Buzzinwithbez · 13/12/2021 22:13

It's doesn't follow that either of you will get it. I've been to lots of sweaty gigs when I could and failed to get it. My kids have been to school and college with known exposures and failed to get it.

Theblacksheepandme · 13/12/2021 22:19

Are you not worried about your baby being exposed? Maybe I missed something but you are worried about yourself and your Mum.

Original poster
tyyyyyyvsdgrvhdxgdx · 13/12/2021 22:30

I'm not worried about either of us (me or DS) getting it. Neither of us are likely to be particularly poorly. Whilst I'd rather he wasn't Ill he's got a new cold most weeks tbh.

I don't want to ruin Christmas isolating & I'm worried my DM could be very poorly.

I think the poster that said it's more about his thoughtlessness than getting covid has hit the nail on the head. If he picked it up at work ( or I did) or DS at an activity or in any other walk of normal life then I'd just accept it and get on with it.

I think it's that he took additional risk that I feel we're unnecessary and has risked our Christmas by doing so. I've found his whole attitude towards it selfish and I'm surprised he so quickly disregarded my feelings about it.

I think this is why I'm so angry about it. I don't want to ruin my relationship over covid but equally maybe he's showing his true colours. In normal times I'd never of had an issue with him doing as he pleased regarding night our etc and so I guess this has never really come up.

He was a bit selfish a few times when I was pregnant but I put it down to being hormonal and miserable myself and now I find myself questioning if he's actually just a bit of a dick.

OP posts: