Can I or my sister form a care bubble with our parents?

[Lovestosing]

My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in February, started on medication then lockdown happened. Her symptoms have worsened quite significantly and she is no longer able to dress herself or carry out the majority of household tasks. My dad is her full time carer, and is basically receiving no help or support as we can’t even see them. Can one of us form a support bubble with them so we can visit them, generally help out and give my poor dad a break? He’s completely worn out.

Absolutely. Care bubbles, or indeed adhoc caring is completely allowed.

Yes. We have had to do the same with my mother in law. She has dementia and fil is struggling to cope with her alone.

That’s great, thank you so much. Even though my dad isn’t a Carer officially as he hasn’t yet had a Carers Assessment?

One or other of you can be a support bubble if you live alone or with children (ie no other adults). They're meant as social support for adults who live alone or single parents. Visiting to care is separate from that and you can both visit (at different times I would guess) to support your dad as needed.

Not heard of a Carter’s assessment.

He’s providing essential care, as are you.

During the first lockdown fil was taken into hospital. We (me, dh and sil) took it in turns to care for mil and when he came out of hospital to fil too. It couldn’t be just one of us as we were all working full time so had to juggle.

Neither of us live alone, we both have partners and children, that’s why I’m confused and I don’t want to break any rules but my dad, in his late seventies is having to care solely for my mum and he needs some support and a break, and she has had a bit of a crisis today and he has to cope with her alone. I don’t see how he is in a better situation than single parents caring for children?

100% . Providing care has always been an acceptable reason since the beginning. Absolutely no doubt whatsoever that this would be allowed

It's fine OP.

Both of you can visit to care for your mum as and when you want (although as PP said, probably not together unless you needed to be there together for a two person task). My grandmother has 3 paid carers and my mum and uncle also go in too (at different times) to deliver food and help with various things.

@Lovestosing

That’s great, thank you so much. Even though my dad isn’t a Carer officially as he hasn’t yet had a Carers Assessment?

What's a carers assessment? My husband is my carer and has been for well over a decade. My doctors just said I needed one and that since he was providing that care anyhow he qualifies as one. We don't take the money as he is doing it as he knowingly married me with the illnesses I have and he didn't want to be paid for doing what he had chosen to do by marrying me... but he could if he wanted to ...

I'm still going into clean and care for my 92 year old grandma who has dementia and lives on her own. No one will stop me

The 'rules' clearly state that you can support a vulnerable person and do volunteering - I visit my elderly parents and volunteer, there are no 'formal arrangements' in place, I just do it. No one has ever asked me and I regularly meet the police via my volunteering work.

Yes it’s not a bubble it’s caring for a vulnerable person.

'Unofficial' caring is fine! I still go into help out a friend who has disabilities!

Thank you, you’ve reassured me!

Providing care is allowed but even if weren't surely people wouldn't just abandon those in need because the Government said so?

Either of you are allowed to provide care for your parents. But you are not allowed to form a support bubble - that is something different entirely. You could only do that if you or sis were alone. But yes do provide care for your parents, this has always been allowed and I have been doing it for my parents. It isn't just physical care either. Today I have been over to fix dads mobile phone. I justify that because he needs it to keep in touch with people.

Even though my dad isn’t a Carer officially as he hasn’t yet had a Carers Assessment? You can still be a carer without an assessment, you're a carer as soon as you start providing care. The assessment is to see what support the carer needs, and unless you are a carer you can't get one.

Please just help your parents

Of course you can

I am thinking about doing the same OP, however I feel i might pose too much of a risk to my parents- 2 kids, dh in emergency services, i work in a school. Is your own home set up quite low risk ?

I'm asking to help weigh up my own situation btw, not at all to pass any judgement on yours

Well that’s the other thing @missanneshirley (love your username) my sister is completely paranoid that we’ll give them Covid as all 3 of my children are in school (the older two in secondary) DH and I both work from home or in an office either alone or with one other person in the entire building. My sister and BIL are teachers so she worries about that. I would hate it if they caught it from me and I will take all precautions necessary but not seeing or being able to help them means my Mum gets very low and it exacerbates her symptoms which impacts on my Dad.

It's an awful lot less likely that your kids will catch Covid AND you'd catch it off then without knowing AND manage to pass it on to your parents, than it would be for someone who works outside the home to manage to catch Covid themselves and pass it on. So if you're working from home it's not a big risk to visit, as long as you leave your kids at home.