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Covid

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Original poster

When can grandparents visit newborn ?

25 replies

Peridotty · 19/05/2020 19:39

Hi, I’m due with my first baby in 2 weeks time. My parents have said that they really want to fly over to see the baby when she is born. They live 5 hours away by plane on the west side of US and we live on the east side of the US. They are in their 70s and have been isolating. They are very eager to meet baby before June 18th. What would you think? Since a vaccine won’t be available for a while, would they have to wait until baby is a year or more old??

OP posts:

stanley10 · 19/05/2020 19:45

The law differs over here obviously (I’m in the uk) but I don’t think that’s acceptable yet. I’m having a first baby in early June and both sets of parents will not visit until it is safer. I think it’s one thing if you can stay 2m apart in a few months time, but you can’t do that if they’re staying with you. And even if they’re isolating now they might pick it up on the way here.

I know it’s hard but we’re all in it together. If we stick to isolation we can bring infection rates down before a vaccination comes to the market

Original poster

Peridotty · 19/05/2020 19:48

I don’t want them to come because I’m scared they will catch it and /or give it to the baby. Don’t know how to say it nicely.

OP posts:

DownWhichOfLate · 19/05/2020 20:21

The main risk for catching covid is the plane travel. I don’t suppose they could travel by motor home?! That way they wouldn’t have to encounter others...

Spied · 19/05/2020 20:26

Tell them you are worried about their journey and isolation is going to have been a waste if time if they are then getting on a plane.
I'd say you are not comfortable and you would rather they be safe. You want them around to be part of baby's life in the future and don't want them at risk.

HermioneWeasley · 19/05/2020 20:28

What’s the sign of June 18th?

HermioneWeasley · 19/05/2020 20:28

Significance, not sign

HermioneWeasley · 19/05/2020 20:30

Do they have any health conditions other than being in their 70s?

Do they have good health insurance and how busy are the hospitals where they live and you live?

Viviennemary · 19/05/2020 20:31

I've no idea what the rules are in the US. But flights are notorious for being a hotbed of every bug going. Say your midwife advises against it.

Original poster

Peridotty · 19/05/2020 20:42

They don’t have underlying health conditions.
They are having their grandson over for summer so can’t come between June 18 and end of August. Told them August would be better since baby’s immune system will be stronger.
These are such complicated times! :-(

OP posts:

Rhayader · 19/05/2020 20:49

I have a 2 week old and this is really hard :(

I relied of grandparents so much for my older two dc. Ours only live a 90 min drive away though so it’s v tempting to break the rules. It feels silly that my MIL can’t visit but if I hired her as a nanny that would be fine....

IvinghoeBeacon · 19/05/2020 20:52

“ I know it’s hard but we’re all in it together. If we stick to isolation we can bring infection rates down before a vaccination comes to the market”

This is kind of nonsense I’m afraid. If everyone were within the same country and no one involved vulnerable then the risks would be very low. In your case OP I would be concerned about the risks from the flight and the fact that there are likely to be restrictions - They will probably have to wait a while sadly. I have a newborn and was more concerned that the baby (and me) would be carriers of the virus and pass it on to others due to having been in hospital for the birth than that we would be at any great risk of harm from the virus ourselves.

Angeldust747 · 19/05/2020 21:01

They are talking about people flying in having to isolate for 2 weeks so hopefully that puts them off. If they were willing to isolate for 2 weeks before meeting baby I'd be tempted to let them but doesn't sound like that would be feasible

stanley10 · 19/05/2020 21:58

@IvinghoeBeacon I think you misread my post. If people isolate then the situation will be better for everyone. If people don’t isolate then it will escalate. Don’t understand how that is nonsense?

BuffaloCauliflower · 19/05/2020 22:03

People are being advised to shield/isolate new babies until at least their 8 week jabs. They can’t come. It’s shit but it’s safety. If they could pop over for a quick garden glimpse it’d be one thing but that isn’t the case here. People will have to quarantine at one address on arrival into the country soon, you won’t want houseguests for 2 weeks with a new baby for a start and who knows if they might be infected, planes will be hot beds for transmission. I’d say this is a really hard no and be very firm. You’re doing nothing wrong.

BuffaloCauliflower · 19/05/2020 22:05

Sorry I missed that you’re in the US, I read they were US but you were UK. So quarantine for 2 weeks won’t apply, I’d still say no because of plane travel and just general risk.

Eggybreadleg · 19/05/2020 22:24

If they drove in a motorhome then yes. If they fly no way.

Ibizababyy · 19/05/2020 22:47

No idea what the laws are in the US I’m in the UK. My baby is 9 weeks old and was born 7 days before the lockdown started here. On midwife advice at the time we didn’t have any visitors he met one set of grandparents as they had our eldest whilst at hospital so were in the house when we got home. Then lockdown started. He hasn’t met a single other person other than HCPs and the odd person has looked at him through the window. It’s absolutely heart breaking and here there is no indication of when it might end. All my family are desperate to meet and hug him but totally understand why they can’t. It’s shit though OP.

IvinghoeBeacon · 20/05/2020 03:43

stanley10 The idea of everyone “isolating” until a vaccine is nonsense. The situation would not be better for everyone, it would be shit for everyone, it’s an impractical and illogical suggestion and not one that we are advised to do here

I gave birth during lockdown. We were advised to self isolate for two weeks because we were the risk to others having been in hospital. We are now (2+ weeks later) subject to the same rules as everyone else

I don’t know about US rules (which I imagine differ by state?) but I would be cautious about the plane flight and any quarantine rules.

BritWifeinUSA · 20/05/2020 04:10

I wouldn’t have them visit yet. The airports are a mess and the whole procedure with getting through the airport and flying is not a bit enjoyable right now.

What are the restrictions in your state and their state? I’m on the west coast but California has completely different guidelines than Washington and Oregon because the numbers are completely different. LA county is in lockdown until the end of August. My county is coming off lockdown this weekend. It’s all related to the numbers.

DamnYankee · 20/05/2020 04:42

Hi!
In central US. John Denver's favorite state!

August would be better since baby’s immune system will be stronger.

That is very reasonable. Just give them a date to look forward to!
Congratulations!

DamnYankee · 20/05/2020 04:44

Since a vaccine won’t be available for a while, would they have to wait until baby is a year or more old??

No.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 20/05/2020 04:49

I’m in the uk. My baby is 6 weeks old today and hasn’t met anyone yet. It’s utterly shit and breaking my heart. Fought with fertility and ivf for three years to get home here. I just want my mum to be a able to have a cuddle

IvinghoeBeacon · 20/05/2020 07:15

Same Whatelsecouldibecalled, it is heartbreaking. My baby hasn’t met anyone other than me, my husband and my son who wasn’t wearing PPE. It’s unnatural

stanley10 · 20/05/2020 13:25

@IvinghoeBeacon ‘isolating’ is not the same as shielding, I think you’re just arguing semantics. I don’t think we should go back to usual yet, and I think we should keep 2m distant when out and about. Our baby has DiGeorge and will be immunocompromised so we will have to shield for god knows how long. Such a crap time to have a baby!!!

IvinghoeBeacon · 20/05/2020 13:34

I think we should go back to as normal as possible because I’m not convinced that “lockdown” as has been done in the U.K. is the right thing - but that is for a different thread. And the idea of continuing with it until there is a vaccine is not realistic or desirable.

I’m sorry your baby has a condition that means they will be immunocompromised, that just be very worrying and you would presumably have to be very careful even if there weren’t a pandemic. But you are right, it is a particularly shit time to have a baby, and especially hard if you know there are extra concerns about the baby’s health.

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