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Original poster

Anyone else’s teenagers turning night into day?

52 replies

candle18 · 12/04/2020 06:28

DS is 19 and has always tended to go to bed very late but it’s now getting a bit ridiculous since we went into lockdown. I don’t think he’s going to sleep till 4 or 5 am, sometimes later then sleeping till early afternoon. I’ve tried talking to him about importance of good sleep patterns, wakening him up early etc but doesn’t seem to work. Should I just leave him to it? I’m a very light sleeper so he’s often going to the toilet about 5am and will say he’s woke up for the toilet but he’s actually just going to bed. Arrrgggg

OP posts:
Sosadandempty · 12/04/2020 06:51

Not to that extent but yes - we are all staying up late (apart from middle dd) and going to sleep at about 1 am (18 year old ds a bit later). Am going to try and nip it in the bud as far as youngest dd and I are concerned because it’s knackering - she sleeps until lunchtime but I get up much earlier. If I were to go to bed myself much earlier I would be woken up by their crashing around so it feels pointless to try. But am going to get firmer because midnight I can kind of see, but any later is exhausting. IMO. (This is during the holidays, when online school starts again the routine is different).

TabbyStar · 12/04/2020 07:12

Yes! DD (17) is having breakfast when I'm having lunch! I don't mind too much other than when I want to do use both a cooked breakfast but have to wait hours as I don't want to eat twice.

iVampire · 12/04/2020 07:46

Yes!

But as it’s the holidays I leave them to it. We interact afternoons/evenings.

At some stage there will be an all nighter /all dayer to reset, but that’s not needed at the moment

chipsandgin · 12/04/2020 08:02

Yes, we call it vampire hours!

On a positive note I am enjoying being able to use the main bathroom in the morning - he’s never grasped the fact that there are four of us (previously) trying to leave the house during the same hour therefore 40 mins in the shower is not ok for so many reasons...now the showers are at lunchtime!

I’ve also been banging on about vitamin D, missing out on this lovely weather etc etc (& the noisy making of food during what feels like the middle of the night...).

We went for our daily walk at dusk last night (so probably felt like like lunchtime to him!) & I told him we’re resetting this coming week. Oddly though he looks less tired than in term time, is getting a bit of sun in the afternoons and seems to be taking the whole exams cancelled/can’t see girlfriend or friends thing fairly well, which I don’t know that I would have at that age. Plus, no matter what, he doesn’t fall asleep early ever so gets ridiculously overtired with early starts & no amount of logic or practicing good sleep hygiene works!?

CtrlU · 12/04/2020 08:04

No but I know I am. I keep falling asleep at 5am then wake again about midday.

LonelyFromCorona · 12/04/2020 08:08

Google nocturnal teenagers and you'll see there is fair amount of scientific evidence that backs up that this occurs naturally in teen years and will change later in adulthood. You will be forcing against nature although if its really bothering you maybe you can compromise on latest bedtime of say 3am for the sake of household peace, and promise no nagging if they stick to thay.

Pinkflipflop85 · 12/04/2020 08:13

I was the same at that age, long before coronavirus!

WtfIsThisEven · 12/04/2020 08:14

We all are. I’ve always preferred being awake at night and asleep during the day. Why not, we have nowhere to be anymore. Both my kids have still been awake when I’ve wandered off to bed at 1-2am. I have no idea what time they’re going to sleep.

Sorry, but why the fuck are you waking him up at a time you deem appropriate and talking to him about good sleep patterns?! He’s a fucking adult, who I presume doesn’t have to be at work?! Leave him alone! I’d be furious if my mother did that to me.

Myownwendyhouse · 12/04/2020 08:17

Yup same here. I tried to stop it at first. But really what’s the point. He has nowhere to go. Nothing to be on time for so I have just ignored it. I don’t see him when he is up either. It’s normal.
It won’t take long for him to get back into his normal pattern when the world goes back to normal as he will be off seeing his girlfriend and mates.

notdoingitanymore · 12/04/2020 08:19

Is this not the best time to question our just coz that's what it is routines,
There is nothing inherently wrong with keeping alternate hours to tradition that industry tells us we should

oohnicevase · 12/04/2020 08:21

Yes .. dd is 16 and gets up about 1 pm.. I don't see the harm really .. nothing better to do have they ?? I'm sure it will resolve itself soon enough .

StrangerDays · 12/04/2020 08:21

Surely that's not good for mental health?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 12/04/2020 08:23

Yes my just turned 20 year old is keeping those hours OP. I find it really unsettling. We are eating outside in the garden in the evenings just so I make sure he gets some daylight.

DameXanaduBramble · 12/04/2020 08:27

If they were living alone you wouldn’t know. They’re adults! Leave them to work things out for themselves. I trust my 20 year old son to self regulate, leave them alone.

Travelban · 12/04/2020 08:29

They would but its not an option for mine.

Dh and I are still working and need to be ready at our desks before 8am.we have two younger children, one of whom shares his bedroom with teenager so it's just arguments when waking each other at different times.

Also, bedrooms are close together so you can hear people milling around early morning.

They haven't moaned that much to be honest, as they understand the family dynamic. At the weekend they do get until 9am but they just wake up as the house is quite noisy!!

Flowersforpowers · 12/04/2020 08:30

I would have loved to do that as a teenager, my body clock was firmly happiest sleeping from about 4am til midday. I don't see what the problem is to be honest - if he's not missing work/school/etc then why does it particularly matter what hours he keeps? To me, listening to your body clock is far healthier than forcing other hours due to societal expectations.

This is a good explanation theconversation.com/the-biological-reason-why-its-so-hard-for-teenagers-to-wake-up-early-for-school-88802

JudyGemstone · 12/04/2020 08:30

Yes mine are, I'm enjoying the peaceful mornings to myself tbh!

xxxemzyxxx · 12/04/2020 08:33

This is a teenage thing. I was always awake more at night when I was that age. I was at uni between 18-22 and I never had early morning lectures and I worked in a nightclub so wouldn’t go to bed until around 4am. it was just a pattern I got into.

Even at 31 if I have time off I get into the habit of staying up later, just a bit of a night owl.

I would mention to him to be quieter as he’s disturbing you which isn’t fair, but otherwise leave him to it, he will eventually grow out of it.

Rocketmam · 12/04/2020 08:40

Dsd was left to her own devices to do this, she is still doing it at 27! They thought she'd grow out of it too but as much as I love her I muat say she has ended up completely aimless in life, no motivation to do anything but game until the early hours and with terrible mental health.

I remember wanting to be this lazy when I was a teenager, but no way would my DM have let me get away with it!

We got up, if we had nothing to do she would tell us to find us something to do. Whether that was studying, helping around the house, reading, exercise etc.

I used to resent it a bit as a younger teenager but I think it got me into healthy habits. It also kept me connected to the family.

Dsd ended up feeling very isolated as she kept completely different hours, eating alone and spending most of her time alone. I do think that a lot of her problems as an adult have stemmed from not being left to wallow.

Original poster
candle18 · 12/04/2020 10:39

Thank all, good to know I’m not alone! I think I was worrying that it might not be good for his mental health and he might find it difficult to get back to reset his body clock when things go back to normal. He’ll be off uni till Sept now so he’s likely to be in this pattern till then.

OP posts:
Rocketmam · 12/04/2020 12:41

I think I was worrying that it might not be good for his mental health and he might find it difficult to get back to reset his body clock when things go back to normal

In my experience it isn't good for mental health and he will struggle to reset his body clock.

Randomschoolworker19 · 12/04/2020 12:59

I was like this as a teenager and even a young child. I hated mornings and was groggy throughout most of the day and would wake up and come alive at night time.

I'm still like that now as an adult. I've always been something of a night owl.

One thing to consider if they're gamers is different time zones. If they've friends in the US they could be 6-7 hours behind, so 6PM for them when it's past midnight over here.

refraction · 12/04/2020 13:02

My oh is.

Think he is a natural American.

LochJessMonster · 12/04/2020 13:25

I was like this as a teenager but the deal was I was only allowed to sleep in until midday which I think is sensible.
Late to bed as I want but had to be up for midday.

Cheesecake53 · 12/04/2020 13:27

Yup, mine is, too.

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