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Original poster

Sending 5 year old daughter to school?

26 replies

Anxietyqueen1987 · 23/03/2020 06:01

Do you think it's the right thing to do? My daughter is 5 years old and is Autistic, we also suspect ADHD. She attends a specialist school which is staying open but its not mandatory to send her in. She was ill with a fever just over two weeks ago (Tonsillitis) so has been off school for over two weeks - she and I have been going stir crazy and she has been climbing the walls being stuck in most days (apart from going for walks) Am I an awful mother if I send her in? I really dont know what the right thing to do is?

OP posts:
SeriouslyRetro · 23/03/2020 06:03

I wouldn’t.

SeriouslyRetro · 23/03/2020 06:05

Everyone is in the same boat for cabin fever.

The only legitimate reason I can see to send your child is if it’s to enable you to work a shift as a critical key worker/and there is no one else who can adequately care for the child. Is that trie for you?

GalleyHead · 23/03/2020 06:05

The right thing to do is to keep her at home.

Original poster
Anxietyqueen1987 · 23/03/2020 06:06

Ok thanks for your responses, I will be keeping her at home.

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cliffdiver · 23/03/2020 06:07

If you can, you must keep her at home.

BluePheasant · 23/03/2020 06:07

Get out for fresh air and walks as much as possible and have a routine based on the school day.

Sirzy · 23/03/2020 06:09

As hard as it is you really do need to keep her home unless there is no other option.

School now is nothing more than childcare with no routine or anything so may be a lot more unsettling anyway

Smarshian · 23/03/2020 06:10

I’m glad you’ve decided to keep her home. I would look online for resources to help with a bit of structure for the days.

Original poster
Anxietyqueen1987 · 23/03/2020 06:12

I will be making a routine for her Monday-Friday. Any ideas would be very welcome.

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Butterflywings1 · 23/03/2020 06:41

Contact her school they may have made stay at home packs which give ideas

8by8 · 23/03/2020 06:47

I’d keep her home. I know it’s extra hard as she’s autistic (I have an autistic sibling so do get it) but it’s the right thing to do. We should all be staying home unless we have to go out for key worker roles or for urgent groceries/medical needs.

wecandothispeeps · 23/03/2020 06:50

Keep her at home and devise a timetable together.

Specialist schools are staying open for the parents that are really struggling, so unless you are really struggling the best thing you can do is keep her at home, and keep the risks to the other children in school to a minimum.

wecandothispeeps · 23/03/2020 06:51

As well as minimising the risk to your own child. A good routine will be key.

Original poster
Anxietyqueen1987 · 23/03/2020 06:51

@Butterflywings1 Thanks I will do that today

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Stuckforthefourthtime · 23/03/2020 06:51

Agree that you should keep her at home if possible, but there's also a reason that children with significant additional needs are allowed to continue to go to school, and I wonder if the posters above have any first hand experience of children with these kinds of needs.

If she would hugely benefit from additional support beyond what you provide, either to meet her needs or to give you respite, then you should talk to the school about options. Restrictions will be going on a long time, highly likely until September, so you need to be able to cope properly, noone will benefit if you are also hanging on by a thread.

Original poster
Anxietyqueen1987 · 23/03/2020 06:52

@8by8 I will be keeping her home

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Punxsutawney · 23/03/2020 06:53

Ds is a teenager and autistic. I'm going to try and get some kind of visual timetable going so he can have some structure to his day.

I would keep her at home.

Original poster
Anxietyqueen1987 · 23/03/2020 06:55

@Stuckforthefourthtime I'm not going to sugar coat it I have been really struggling - really stuggling. At the moment she has very littke understanding and really stuggles to communicate but I know it is the right thing to do for our family and everyone else and their family's to keep her at home. Thank You though

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Original poster
Anxietyqueen1987 · 23/03/2020 06:58

@Punxsutawney Will you be making it yourself or is there somewhere I can find one online? I really struggle with things like that. Are there any online resources you can suggest?

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user1471605495 · 23/03/2020 07:06

As others have said stay at home if at all possible is best plan but if you start to really struggle you can contact the school and ask for support. We are anticipating at our school that some with high needs who are being kept at home to begin with may come in at some point.

Punxsutawney · 23/03/2020 07:08

Anxiety I will do it myself as he's slightly older so will just need a timetable of his day a bit like school but not quite as much to do.

Ds is obsessed with his computer. He would literally spend every waking moment on there and not eat or shower. He's year 11 so even if the schools do go back before September he won't. He was very socially isolated before all this though!

I would maybe google 'visual timetables' and autism and see what comes up. There are some pretty good resources out there for autistic children and young people. Do they use anything in particular at school to help her understand the school day? I would definitely contact them to see what resources they use and if they can share any of it with you.

Sockwomble · 23/03/2020 07:08

To anyone saying only key worker children should be in

If a child's needs are so great that not sending them creates a risk of the family not coping to the extent that the family may need help from other services eg social services, police then the sensible thing is to send the child in.

Original poster
Anxietyqueen1987 · 23/03/2020 07:15

@Punxsutawney I will definitely be contacting her school. We do use PEC cards and "now and next" but I need to come up with some ideas that will entertain and interest her (she loses interest in things very quickly). I have ordered some sensory kits, painting kits, kinetic sand etc but I know she will be bored within a few minutes and sometime she just refuses to take part in anything.

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Punxsutawney · 23/03/2020 07:28

Anxiety it is especially hard for those parents whose children have SEN.

Although far older Ds won't really do anything that is out of his room and off his computer. I managed to get him to watch a dvd with me yesterday but he could only concentrate for 30min and then we had to turn it off.

I think you are probably doing a far better job than you give yourself credit for. Maybe assess the situation at the end of the week and see how you are coping. If you feel that things are becoming more difficult then contact school again and see if they can offer more support.

Original poster
Anxietyqueen1987 · 23/03/2020 07:30

Thanks for the advice @punxutawney it really is appreciated.

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