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Original poster

Should I send my daughter to school

28 replies

ZoJo317 · 21/03/2020 22:44

So me and the DH are in a debate of what to do. We are Frontline workers and are not able to work from home. So DD is allowed a place at school. However I really don't want to send her. I'm scared and just want to keep her safe.

He's saying that there will be more structure for her if we send her and her learning won't be affected as badly. Even though I've now found out and told him they won't be learning much at school. It's more about childcare then education.

My argument is that there is no way we can organise our shifts around school so that we do drop offs and pick ups. There is also no way we can organise our shifts to work opposite each other. So our parents would still need to help us no matter which option we pick. 3 out 4 of our parents are classed as high risk. Our daughter has been in isolation with us for 5 days (so just 9 more to go) as her dad had mild symptoms. So when our isolation finishes surely it would be safer for her grandparents to help with childcare then if we sent her back to school and they helped us with childcare.

Please some body weigh in and give me some insight into what other people would do. I'm so stuck, worried and scared.

OP posts:
THATscurryfungeBITCH · 21/03/2020 22:45

How old is she

How old are grandparents

WorraLiberty · 21/03/2020 22:47

If 3 out of 4 of her grandparents are high risk, she and you/your DH need to stay away from them.

I know it's easier said that done but you really need to do it.

turkeyontheplate · 21/03/2020 22:47

I think one of you should stop work and look after her at home, sorry. Your parents shouldn't be doing childcare, and especially not if she is coming and going from school.

feelinguseless101 · 21/03/2020 22:48

How old is DD. How old are grandparents/ do they have underlying health conditions.

The ideal would be neither- either you and DH do opposite shifts or she stays home alone if old enough.

But if you have to, choose 1- school OR grandparents otherwise you double the exposure to the grandparents - your risk and the school risk.

Frigginella · 21/03/2020 22:49

Rule out her going to Grandparents then figure out your options. It sounds like you and your DH need to talk to your employer around flexibility

Pitaramus · 21/03/2020 22:49

If grandparents are helping with childcare either way I would suggest they do all of it and you don’t send her to school.

That at least reduces the risk that she picks something up from school and passes it on to the grandparent. Alternatively, are there any other parents who could do drop off and pick up for you besides the grandparents?

fedup21 · 21/03/2020 22:49

So what are your options?

She goes to grandparents who are high risk?
She goes to school?

Is there a third?

chinateapot · 21/03/2020 22:51

Are you going to see her whilst you’re working or are you planning to send her off to grandparents for weeks - or however long? If you plan to see her and you both have to go to work decent odds she’ll be exposed anyway and you should worry about the grandparents more. Kids seem to do remarkably well with covid. High risk grandparents - less so.

Original poster
ZoJo317 · 21/03/2020 22:52

She is 5

Grandparents are high risk:

Grandad 1 over 70 but fit as fiddle. I would actually say he's healthier then me Hmm

Grandma 1 is diabetic (type 2) still working though and is also a frontline worker.

Grandad 2 has high blood pressure and obesity but my mother lives with him who is also a frontline worker.

All the grandparents except for granddad 1 are below 70.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 21/03/2020 22:52

I'm sorry but two frontline workers with 3 high risk parents should not be sending their child to them at all...school or no school.

AmberleighMouse · 21/03/2020 22:53

It's harsh but you absolutely can't use the grandparents for pick ups or childcare at all. You just can't put them at risk like that.

TheTeenageYears · 21/03/2020 23:07

I know this would be really hard on you and your DH but after your self quarantine period could your DD stay with one set of parents full time until this is over? She would isolate with them and be no risk to them as she wouldn't be seeing anyone else. You then don't run the risk of infecting her and you and DH have the freedom to do your frontline jobs without needing to worry about your DD.

Keyworker1 · 21/03/2020 23:08

No to grandparents.

Comes down to support from your employer. It’s a horrible situation but if you can afford to not work then your child is safest at home. Most schools will have some learning but it will be mixed and not the norm.

Defenbaker · 21/03/2020 23:16

OP, there will be a lot more personal space in the school now due to the reduced numbers, so it will be easier for teachers to encourage safe distance between the children. I understand your fears, but if 3 of the 4 GPs are vulnerable, you really cannot call on any of them for childcare or school pick ups, you need to organise it somehow between you, or keep your DC off school.

Original poster
ZoJo317 · 21/03/2020 23:17

This is the problem I'm facing. If I just work might just be able to manage but it would be hard. Ideally we need the two incomes but it's not worth risking everyone's health.

I just don't know what's for the best. Especially since all three households actually have a key worker in already. It's like trying to pick the least worst option.

Good thing is I don't have to worry for another 17 days. We're in isolation for another 9 days and the. The husbands got another 7 days annual leave.

Thanks all for your input so far. At least it's not just me who thinks she shouldn't go and perhaps he needs to stay home (part of me thinks he just doesn't want to 😡)

OP posts:
SallyLovesCheese · 21/03/2020 23:17

It's a tough one. She shouldn't really go to grandparents so she should go to school. Is there any flexibility in your job in terms of reducing hours if you can't make your shift patterns work? Or doing a split shift, perhaps, with a few hours' break to cover school pick up and the other parent arriving home?

Butteredtoast55 · 22/03/2020 08:45

I think the situation will be very different in 17 days time and your local school will be completely closed and key worker childcare provided from general hubs with pooled staff from the local area. If you possibly can, please do not send your child to school.

DontBe · 22/03/2020 09:18

Yup can’t send her to grandparents, what if they got ill? She needs to stay away, you all do. It’s not about them being healthy. Italy aren’t ventilating the elderly, it’s cut off by age. Health has nothing to do with it.

We are both frontline key workers and our children will be going to school on the days I work, because we have to. I think my Trust would tell me to work nights and weekends if I had difficulty with childcare. Minimise the amount of time they are there.

DowntonCrabby · 22/03/2020 09:25

What are your jobs?

Is one of you regarded as less front line? Obviously if you’re both NHS staff it’s really important to both be at work.

Kezmum14 · 22/03/2020 09:38

After the 14 days isolation could your daughter not go and live with her Grandparents full time and isolate with them? I don’t know how this works but I’ve taken unpaid leave to look after my children as there’s absolutely no way I’d be sending them to school. Such scary times and there probably isn’t a right or wrong answer - just find the best solution for your family x

Scarlettpixie · 22/03/2020 10:07

You shouldn’t send her to school and you should all stay away from grandparents. Sorry but you need to find a way to look after her yourselves.

Darbs76 · 22/03/2020 10:10

You can claim 80% of income can’t you if can’t work?

Darbs76 · 22/03/2020 10:10

Whatever option you do please do not send her to school then send her to the grandparents. Hopefully they’d refuse anyway to do it as goes totally against the advice. You need to find another way to make it work.

britnay · 22/03/2020 10:33

Our school is asking that we send them in as little as possible. My husband and I are both key workers. My workload has nearly tripled.

We are sending them in just on the days when we are both going to be working. The school are happy if we let them know which days the children will be in each week.

LaurieMarlow · 22/03/2020 10:37

She should not be going to grandparents.

How ‘key’ are you and your partner? Could one of you take some leave?

Otherwise she goes to school and you ask for flexibility / understanding from your workplace. In the circs they’d be awful not to do what they can to give it.

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