30s TTC: The BESH Palace - where the bar never closes, booze is free, the humour is black and babydust is strictly for snorting through a rolled up 20.

[PollyPoo]

Welcome BESHies to the new palais. Plz to come fill it up plz.

For your delight and delectation I have dragged across the bar and the pit. Along with Mitchell (of course) to grant your every wish (but you will probably have to fight Scorps for him first... good luck with that).

I have even brought the Kylie infused absinthe. Now, who will join me in a Blackhole?

just echoing the WTF Cho. Am speechless at the stupidness of it all.

What fucking cunts they are. It's a machine with no feeling, a rolling juggernaut, staffed by computers and David Walliums characters.

Can anyone help? I feel like a total dickhead. I've just started a new Frolickers thread after someone already did it 5 seconds before me. Mine was worse obviously and I committed the sin of not including a list. How do you get a thread removed?

FFS Cho, that is a completely ridiculous situation. I would be raging.

We're going to need a new fred ourselves soon. What shall we call the new one?

Has there been a "BESH Before our eggs dry up" or summat, type pun yet?

Humpelina I know Barts are shit*, but don't fret that you have not heard from them yet....in my experience with IUI, they just casually say "yeah, you're at the top of the waiting list now, you'd better come in", as though it never occurs to them you have been experiencing a million kinds of menkul not knowing when things will happen! In fact you will prolly get done before me at this rate!

*Also, they have not been shit with actual treatment...always very nice.

So, I am going to contact the natural ivf clinic to see if I can fit one of their treatments in before Barts...it's cheap, cos' they don't do any drucks, but I was thinking of necking some of my left over Clomid, then going "Heavens! I seem to have freakishly produced loads of eggs this month...how on earth could that have happened?" when I get there!

Fucking hell cho hand your notes to me, I'll type them this arvo & get them couriered by tomorrow am. 4-5 weeks to type up notes?

aries tis punishment for straying outside the walls of the palais

cho me likee the before our eggs dry up fred title............

scorps how goes the needles? Feel a little prick (ah, the oldies are the goodies).

I know Laurie...and it's one of the fucking fertility doctors who carried out the op, then told me the results (all fine) while I was still there, and he then probably added his hand written notes to my file, walked back over to the fertility clinic with them, and then sent them off in the internal fucking post for the secretary to type up...every other note in my file is hand written anyway!

Am also liking the egg-themed title suggestion.

ChooChoo - sounds like a plan with the Clomid.

God, I've got a pounding headache - pound, pound, POUND Not normally a headache sort of gal. Must be the stress of The Secs-fail, the FF-fail (apparently I'm too stupid to continue past the first test) and the New Frolicker Thread-fail. I'm gradually becoming too foul mouthed and grouchy to be on there anyway I think. Added to the demand by the bank to jump through a million financial hoops in under one week before they'll contemplate giving us the loan. Well at least it wasn't a flat no I suppose.

Me me me. Meh meh meh. Soz.

Exciting news update. Does anyone get headaches when/if they ov? I've just been to the loo, and Houston we have egg white. And I felt some twinginess in the right ovarian region. Maybe the grapefruit juice etc etc (and the millions of supps) have done their work. And we SedWI yesterday evening (despite Adrian Chiles' attempts at sabotage). And the day before that and two days before that. And I did the pillow under the bum for twenty minutes afterwards.

Does anyone know if this means I'm ovulating now this minute? Should I assault seduce him tonight too?

I've got something right for once!

Jump him. What have you got to lose?

Am lurking where I can BESHlies, but for some reason being expected to WORK for my living and no broadband at home. Plus, am in throes of The Weirdest Droid of All Time, and I think my menkul might get unleashed to its fullest extent if I post lots so I'll be back all proper-like when it's being normal/is over and a fresh springtime month beckons.

Will read all when I have mo. In meantime, roundhouse kicks all round and a snuggle to Cho and Lyra and Scoresonthedoors* and, oh hell, everyone really in case I've missed anyone off having a RANCID time.

*WTF is one of those anyways?

That's most inconsiderate of them wanting you to work Head. Don't they know you've got more important things to be doing? Arse to droid, weird or otherwise.

Feckin MN wouldn't let me in all bloody day so I have missed everything! Gah!

Chinese burns to all of you, speshly Cho for having to put up with FC Fuckwits. I don't know how anyone hasn't run into one of those places yet brandishing a machete. But I am quite an angry person at the mo

Can't loiter 'cause OH will be home soon and he will think I have been on here all day.

Muse PMSL at "Jump him". Practically heard your voice in my head despite never actually having heard it

Gin have been resisting texting you all day long and haven't been able to get on here at all. Having been thinking of you non stop x

hoho Have messaged you elsewhere. You thinking of trying the Create Health peeps? My acupuncturist works with them and really rates 'em.

dreamstreme is hulk? Hulk SMASH! Always here for the bitching, love.

ginpudding love you lots.

Imagine that I have the energy to karate chop the rest of you fuckers...

Get shagging Adrianies

And cho that seriously sucks.

Thinking about the FMU thing, I wonder why the CBFM insists on it, if other OPK tools don't.

meeeeep think because cbfm keeps readings of all levels, it can detect when things have risen enough to imply surge is about to happen. That was the Persona science, afaik.

Alternatively, is work of devil and cannot be trusted. Take your pick.

both excellent points, oh humpy one.

Cho, it's time to introduce you to the word I invented many years ago for people such as the '800 years to type a few lines up' gits you're dealing with: twatbasket. Feel free, y'all, to use it liberally

Headonthedoor (please say someone else gets that!), v about your freaky droid. And about your home web access. Won't somebody think of the BESHes?!

Well, needling went v well. Needles Lady said it was v good from a pricks POV that I can't have Teh Secks for a month - or possibly not ttc for 2 months if lap is booked at an inopportune time - as she can do some much more dynamic stuff on my 'elf ishoos' that she couldn't do to such a great extent if she was needing to do reproductive work. Had quite a groovy experience - normally, I have an overactive mind (has anyone noticed? I try to hide it well ) and tired body but as I laid there with the needles in, I literally felt the energy switch around in my body so that my body felt v healthy and my mind was chilled. Am defo feeling v confident about her working some baybee magic!

Also got a letter asking me to ring to book dildocam. Erm, so what was the appointment I booked last week for, then? BOH! Needles Lady gave me top tip - to ask for an Antra-Folllicle count, which is a check they can do with dildocam to see if you have lovely scrummy Cadbury's Creme Eggs waiting to babyfy or rotting, out of date pickled eggs in a dusty jar on the counter of a dodgy East End boozer. Apparently, it's dead easy and quick for them to check but generally won't do it until you ask So ask, BESHingtons, ASK!

Am so horny and can't have any rude fun Have been winding TYF on the issue -
Me: We can't have any sexy fun, waaah!
Him: Well, there's some sexy fun I can have.
Me: No, you can't give me an orgasm, so there's absolutely no sexy fun to be had for either of us.
Him: What about my sexy fun?
Me: I've just said I can't have an orgasm, so what are you talking about?
Ad Infinitum
Him:

Need new fred! Liked the title suggested But would also propose summat about Joe Mangel

Needling sounds amazing Scorpies. There's a Needles Man in Truro I might give a whirl if it ever comes it it. And even if not necessary, it sounds like an interesting experience. Is it pricey? Bad luck on The Secs front.

I'm sad and disappointed to say I didn't get Headonthedoor.

Re the thread name, can some intelligent wordsmith amongst you suggest a title combining Joe Mangel, gusset-watch and dildocam? Or would that be too much? I'm ducking out of the challenge and passing it on after my last experience with creating a thread that was blackballed and taken away by MN after my begging.

I definitely ov-ed yesterday I think, but couldn't drag him into the sack as he was exhausted, stressed and irritable. I hesitate to say it, but he appears to be starting to use sex as a bit of a reward for good behaviour. Should I Dump Him?

hey Aries - hope that the karma is better today! Did FF let you on in the end? Tchah - i had no idea it was so exclusive. As for creating threads - it's a strangely vulnerable-making exercise: my first thread on MN no-one answered for about three days, making me feel like a pariah leper and when someone did, I briefly considered asking her to be my best friend on MN (joke - I was cool, really.) If you did ov yesterday, your SWI in the days leading up should have your bases covered, but I'd maybe behave very well today as well, just in case

Scorps your needles lady sounds like the very biz.

cho sorry you are having to go through this crap again with the FC peeps. Well worth a shot with the natural IVF, but I'm a bit more sceptical about the clomid plan tbh (but I am by nature a conformist and very inclined to toe the line when it comes to the med profession, so feel free to ignore my views...)

BESH 30s TTC: We may be laying in the gutter, but we're staring at our gussets.

[To the tune of Spiderman] Dildocam, dildocam, goes up yer fanjo and waggles around.

Head on the door is the name of an old Cure album. Surely MN should've come up with an 'ex-teen-Goth' emoticon by now? Or would just cover it?

Well, am having a massive ARRRRRRRGHGHGH! this morning. You know how I always moan about only ever getting period and ovulation pain on the left, which is where I think the endo is - if there is any, which I sadly think there is (and the consultant agreed it prolly is on the left, too)? Well, I've Oved/am on cusp of Oving and no pain on the fucking left. You know what that probably means, don't you? That for once in a fucking blue cuntbastard moon, I'm ovulating on the right side - the side that's completely normal and healthy. And I haven't had and can't have Teh Secks, as we all know. does not even begin to cover it. About once a year I don't have any Ov pain, but I still get the strong and obvious Ov signs, and I've thought perhaps it's not hurting because it's a duff egg or summat; not given it much thought. But now, after talking to endo expert and reading and paying much more attention to my body's signs in general, due to TTC, I'm 99% sure it's a sign of uber-rare right-side Ov. SO! I really do think this means I've missed out on a proper good chance of diffing. Of course, I can't be sure that's what's going on without some sort of scan, but hmmmmph. Am really, really upset. And cos I'm neurotic, the thought of this having been a real, rare possibility will drive me fucking mental. I bet my luteal phase will be really long too, just to kick me further whilst I'm down!

Soz for being so mememe Pliz to offer pervy hugs?

I don't fucking believe it - I have just this second started getting Ov pains on the right! ON THE RIGHT! Proper pains; can't be mistaken for anything else. I have never had any pain on the right before! Only THIS pic can come close to how melodramatic I feel!

This probably means that the next time I'll Ov on the 'good' side will be when I'm 40! Am crying like a complete fucking idiot and have worked myself up into a ridiculous tizzy. I need excessive violence!

Will stop multi-posting hysterically now

Oh Scorpsie How frustrating. Are you sure it's that, not something less worrisome like appendicitis or wind? Sorry, I really am not being flippant, but are you sure?