30s TTC: The BESH Palace - where the bar never closes, booze is free, the humour is black and babydust is strictly for snorting through a rolled up 20.

[PollyPoo]

Welcome BESHies to the new palais. Plz to come fill it up plz.

For your delight and delectation I have dragged across the bar and the pit. Along with Mitchell (of course) to grant your every wish (but you will probably have to fight Scorps for him first... good luck with that).

I have even brought the Kylie infused absinthe. Now, who will join me in a Blackhole?

AWE Pol - iz doubly brilliant month! I couldn't write yesterday because I was vomitously worried about Pootwo. Thank Jebus all is well! Something must have happened with the planetary alignment or summink

Scorp Was iz dis wot you are doin 2day? I missed that bit Hope it goes well whatever it is my little retrosexkitten

New(ish) lovely Beshes, I can confirm that Gin is not being a big nancy about her trip abroad (though obv. would be permitted given that it looked proper lush). Truth is she went through something frankly devastating this time last year so with anniversary looming this is a very tough time for her and her OH. Not my place to talk about it but I'm pretty sure she talked about it earlier in this thread. (Hope you don't mind me saying that moomum x

Right I'm off to check out this blanket... crafting envy strikes again

x posts!

s'okay Ginster. We know why this break was important to you (and it wasn't the superlush hotel and restaurant; as we all were about that). Just glad you are getting to go somewhere rather than sit at home pondering. Hope London brings plenty of scrumptious food, hard booze,'gasm-tastic SWOI and plain old good fun. xxx

Awe Streme I am sorry you were so worried about BooTwo - he/she is still in there and I do feel pretty positive about my christmas baybee.

I feel like I am riding of wave of good shiz n karma... not only am I duffed, TG getting payrise, moving to lufferly Cornwall (albeit at some point) but we haz got tickets to see Mark Lanegan in Brizzle on Friday and boss has given me time off at short notice (sposed to give 1 month). What a week!

I will be duly re-directing my wave of karma into the palais for you lot, so get rubbing widdershins laydeez.

And I can confirm that having met her, Gin really is a double hard bastard. With a slightly soft centre.

Go Polly, go Polly, go Polly. And pass us o'er soma dat baybee duzt and vateva' else you have to snort! Does that mean your fella will quit his newly acquired position in order to move to Cornwall? After you paid your debts, that is.

'Ead sorry about droid. As you say, who knows at this stage what it may be. Spotting, I mean.

Welcome to Lahndan Ginnie. It's so nice and sunny and you can find me at the British Library if you fancy! Oooh, I am jealous you get to just enjoy London!

Sorry about the oooold comment last night girls. It was not a comment about actual age, just my frame of mind. I do not know why I am feeling old in the last few months. Not physically, but mentally. Like a turtle. Maybe it's because the bean is not sticking that easily. And I am worried I am making wrong decisions in life because I feel oooooold, which I know is more a mental state than a fact, and I behave older than my friends... Anyway, ranting there because I am a bit confused at the moment but just wanted to say my old feelings were about myself and mental state rather than any objective years, just in case I upset someone. I do not know why my age difference with the CH is seeming a lot more now than when we were 20's / 30's.

Mountie dear, are you often at the Briddish Library? Cos I shall be hanging out there a fair bit this summer

Boring info for you all... (dunno why I'm telling you 'cause the dogs don't seem that interested either)

Am currently nursing another double-evil droid - this time surprisingly early (CD26 instead of the usual 28-33 days) which means that in the last 2 months I have been bleeding for pretty much 70% of the time Of course this also means I will be peeing on OV sticks for most of the month ahead

I am now taking 7 supplements in prep for future IVF treatment as am pretty confident that this is the only way we will win a baby. Besides, whatever Zita wants, Zita gets.

Today I will mostly be:

a) looking into local IVF treatment stats
b) finding appropriate accupuncturist in the Shizzle
c) trying to figure out what to do with my life
d) refreshing the screen on this thread
e) carrying car crash puppy outside for weewees
f) listening to car crash puppy squealing and barking because she wants out of tiny crate, thus driving me out of my tiny mind.
g) willing the volcano smoke away so that my parents can come home and take their dogs back. That way I can move back into my own house. Much needed after 5 traumatic weeks.
h) needing a Mum hug.
i) rocking in my seat.

Jebus, that wasn't supposed to be a dark note. Sorry ladies

Like a turtle? . You have younger eggs than me and Charlie Chaplin had babies in his 70s, so there. ("Yes, but he was too old to pick them up." Chickflick reference. Anyone? Anyone?)

Speaking as newishbie, we knew you weren't being all Naomi Campbell about missing Barcelona only Ginsters. May you have lots of happy wonderings along the Sarf Bank licking ice creams in the sunshine, likewise at Camden Lock etc etc (you can tell I'm a hopeless provincial can't you?)

Poopoo how exciting! What genuinely good news. Where will you move to in Cornwall, where, where?

Sorry, extreme, badly timed crossed posts

Forgot your parents were out of the country and you hadn't seen them since your op. Are they far away? Sorry about the early evil droid too.

Oh 'streme, not one iota of that was boring. Buggering ball-sacks what a sucky day you're having .

Being a professional administrator* let me do this in order:

a) I think you should google 'Local IVF Success Stories' instead. You show that search engine what's what!

b) Oooo, that sounds fun. Proactive Projects Promote Positivity. I just made that up. I know. Like, for free. I could totally earn a living as a promotional speaker. But seriously though - didn't the winner that is Poo also see a needle lady? I hear good things all round on that one.

c) What do you want to do with your life?

d)Yeah me too. Hurrah, I'm not the only lame one!

e) and f) I can't think about these without crying, so I shan't.

g) GAH! I can't think of anything positive to say about that. Mary Poppins also would struggle with that one. And Pollyanna. and Tiny Tim. On the plus side I believe we would all want to savagely bully at least the last two, so maybe that's for the best. Any ETA on whan they might get there?

h) Being, as I am, signally overweight, I have the most deliciously plump and yielding arms. Pliz allow me to smother you in them. I also have a matronly bosom. At the age of 13 my Mum told me I reminded her of Hattie Jacques . Do please cradle your head there until a suitable replacement arrives.

i) . The BESHes will not permit this.

*You're all jealous. Totally.

Big whoop to Polly. So much good news in one day!

ginsterpasty all my sympathy was for date stuff. I am thinking of you.

Wittyone pattern is from stitch n bitch and is dead easy. Can copy it when I get home for you.

Sadly, the blanket is no more. I broke it, tried to fix it, failed, unravelled, and then didn't wind the wool as I unraveled so was left with tangled useless mess. I am not genius. But I have more wool coming and will start again. And I was dithering over colour anyway so is all fine.

Now, why do I have to be at work on this beyootoful day?

All valuable practice Muse, for when your knitting can win you gasps of awe and prizes at WI functions.

I'm jealous of your reported bounteous bosoms Headcase. It was agreed by her contemporaries that Hattie Jacques was very sexy.

Wow Polystyrene someone must've been rubbin widdershins like fury for you...everything is coming up roses....

Casper you know you PESHes are welcome back in the palace (just from time to time, mind you )...we see you as kind of mascots...alumni, if you will.

Perhaps we should have some kind of 'old school tie' or something to identify BESHgrads with...I'll leave it up to Scorpie's twisted imagination to work the visual angle. On which subject, hope everyfink s'okay wit da Scorpster today.

Eadiekidd sorry about the droid and all , but cycling through the city of London with the wind in your hair is a fine tonic, in my book, and can help you see the positive side of life when things are getting on top of you.

MrGinnery ...just wanted to send some hugz'n'shiz ...awful times to get through, especially after the last few months. Take care.

AncientBESHes 'la la la...fingers in ears' , not listening to any 40 y/o angst...there are a few threads on here about people who did not start having kidz 'til 40+, and many of my clients are 40+ and still knocking them out. When I win my IVF twinnzzz, I am considering adopting some more well into my forties (as long as I prove to be any good at all at being a mum!)...my view is...you have to speculate to accumulate, and the more children you have, the more likely you are to guilt trip at least one of them into living near home all their lives and changing your incontinence pants when you are 90! Only joking...just determined to keep positive about having a family even tho I have started finding grey hairs in the laydeegarden.

So, I have emailed the clinic in the futile hope that I can bamboozle them into letting me start IVF this month. I reckon my chances are about 5%, and that if unsuccessful it will probs be May or June. Because I am such a fine example of BESHness , my main motivator at this point is to ensure that treatment does not interfere with my last minute beach holiday planned for the beginning of June...yeah, what of it, be-hotches?

Cross posts there. Big smoochies to extreme. Perhaps I can provide a suitable man toy to keep you company? A shexy vet for the puppy? And ead's cuddles look good. Hope folks make it home soon:

Yeah, same here Streme.

Cho you'z a star man innit.
Good luck with bullying persuading the IVF gurus.

Hello?? I've posted twice only for them to disappear. They were prolly the funniest & most informative posts in the history of time. Shall not waste time doing it all again, will just get a round of drink in instead. Chin chin!

Always the way Laurie ...large Hendricks and tonic pour moi svp! hic...

Don't worry Aries - that honestly started off as a positive post but the puppy is properly losing it next to me. The crying is constant and has started to make my eyelids twitch. Has same disturbing effect as "the horror" whispers from Apocalypse Now. I fear it made my mood turn during the post. Me bad
Parents are in Santa Monica in a smashing Art Deco hotel. Not that I am jealous or anything [endless steam emitting from ears]

Head thank you for your humorous reply It proper cheered me back to normality. You're a funny fucker aren't you!

Note - I would heart being an administrator now. Leaving the house would be marvelous!

I too have volumptuous upper arms! Perhaps we could start a new bidniz wriggling about in our altogether I hear there's money to be made in such things innit! Thanks for the good lovin tho. Much appreciated

In answer to your question, I have no frickin idea what I want to do next. Lost a perfectly good job last year thanks to the recession. Done freelance bits and some temping since but not for a while now due to mentalness.
Is a bit of an issue at the moment as want to get into full time work for sense of pride and to heal my broken mind and heart, but practically as I would be a newbie employee (if I were lucky enough to get one) it would be extremely stressful then bargaining for time off for IVF treatment and downtime from new employer. Guessing that they prolly wouldn't want me to get knocked up on arrival! Or even admit I was trying for that matter
If I had been with previous employer I don't think it would have been so much of an issue. Am thinking temping is prolly the way forward as I wouldn't be letting anyone down, which is biggest fear with work. (Have always been ridiculously loyal employee - to the point of putting off TTC as commitment to job [fucking idiot emoticon]

Cho Am keen to know how you get on. In fact am keen to know your whole story. Might stalk you back to your first post

Muse am gutted re. blanket. I thought it was smashing, speshly the colour. Annoyed on your behalf

That took about an hour to write

I guess it was mainly me with the misplaced sympathy on the Barcelona trip, but actually, as I do lurk (waves, revealing wallpaper camouflage outfit), I did remember that the main aim of the trip was to be away in a painful period. So sorry if it was a bit insensitive not to acknowledge that Gin. My heart really does go out to you.

cho hope the bamboozlement works - I have great confidence in your persuasion skills!

muser - sorry to hear about the whole unraveling blanket saga! But, we can start afresh together and compare notes along the way. Hurrah! A crafty project. Actually, I thought your choice of colour was both warm and original, but I do find myself drawn to simply white and fluffy (totally unoriginal: I realise this).

If you could copy it for me, that would be like wow! I don't know how messaging on MN works, so maybe you could email it to me? (DMpractical(at)gmail.com). Do you need several sets of needles BTW? Looks like you might...

Car crash puppy? Car crash puppy? What did I miss??

Cryo, birthdaytwin?

Love you Ginster. Sending brave thoughts your way xxx

Cho like Hendricks best too?! {new best mate emoticon]

Ahhh extreme so sorry for the crap you are going through as well. posted a bit quick - I didn't want to ignore it. But you have already received better beshly advice and counsel than I can possibly offer. Hope things start to look up vey soon, à la polly with her karmic flow.

Did anyone else notice that clever Laurie invented a snuggle snorkel for Gin? Where can I get one? Can I buy shares, lolly?

Lylo !!! Tis lovely to hear from you! Am so glad that Poppa is doing so well!!! Sorry you are feeling like shit tho. What you need is a bloody good drinking session. It may not cure the cold, but it will relieve some of the pressure Joking aside, am properly thrilled that things have finally taken a positive turn for you and yours. XXXXxes (unashamed)

Car crash puppy was trauma number three that happened during parents world trip. First week labrador (Mums) got gastroenteritis - literally spraying shit across the walls and all over other two pups.

Week two I had lapo and woke up to find out I had actual keyhole surgery and frankly buggered tubes. Still had to dog/ house sit. The term "uncomfortable" springs to mind.

Week three Corgi/jack cross puppy (mums) was hit by chelsea tractor. Pelvis broken in three places. Vet feared she wouldn't make it, but she is proper double hard bastard (being Ginger ) and has made astounding recovery. Now is utterly fucked off that she has to remain completely still for 6 weeks in box similar to that used to transport cat

All in all a right pain in the bum of a month but not a patch on what you and yours have been going through! x