Can anybody reassure me that it can happen now at 38

[lostittoday]

Hi
After 15 months of ttc I am becoming increasingly all the more doubtful that I will become pregnant and all the literature out there makes me think that I don,t stand a cats in hell chance at my age.
Can I please be bombarded with loads of 35 y plus ladies who have manged to concieve even if it did take ages and who can help me relax a bit about this.
I am becoming very depressed about it all.

I got pregnant first time of trying at 38 but unfortunately miscarried. Tried again a few months later at 39 and again got pregnant first attempt. DS now ten months. Going to try again next spring - I'll be 41 in May - feel fairly positive as I have met 3 other women in ante-natal groups who have all concieved aged 42 - 44! Do go to see a Doc! Good luck x

had ds at 37 hoping to have another soon,

its really tough when you are trying, but you must think positivley because it really works,

You have to 'tell' your body what to do! (this is what someone told me after ttc and miscarriages, if you are believing that you can't you are subconciously telling your body not to.

I know it sounds like bloody mumbo jumbo, but what can you do but think positive.

Everybody knows the benefits of an optimistic outlook.

if you live in london you can go to the jeryani centre - let me tell you I went there had some reflexology and got pregnant that day!!! (and i am quite sane and rational and wear fashionable clothes )

It was suggested to me that my body might have been clever enough to have known that for the last goodness knows how many years, I really really did not want to get pregnant and have a baby and so therefore it had kind of shut down all things to do with reproduction. I therefore needed to make sure my body was aware that things had changed in my life and now I was ready to be a mum. I used to stand in front of the mirror and tell myself "I'm fit and healthy and ready ot have a baby" much to the amusement of my DH and probably most of you reading this. I'll never know if it helped, or if it was the reflexology or the procedure I had to check if my tubes were blocked or just luck.
Might that be the case for you?

Deep breaths! I had mine at 38 (fertility treatment because of DH issue) and 40 (after three months of trying naturally and assuming it wouldn't work). When did your mother (and sister(s) if applicable) have their kids/menopause? I knew we had a better than average chance as mum had me at age 42 and my sister had her last at 39. There is a lot of scaremongering about age and fertility and while age is a factor for both sexes I can't help but feel that some of the doomy headlines and articles are a rather overdone - damn women wanting careers and all that .

Two ideas - see your GP to get the ball rolling on fertility testing. Not a picnic but at least you feel like you are doing something. Work out with your DH if you can afford private treatment and if so, how many rounds. Secondly, I really can't recommend acupuncture highly enough (but make sure it is someone registered with the British Acupuncture Council and ideally someone with expertise in fertility matters). There have been some credible studies by Western fertility experts to indicate that it really can improve your chances of conceiving.

Good luck!

I'm 39 and recently conceived twice in 5 months. Unfortunately I mc both, but as I have a prior history of miscarriage I'm not convinced this is due to my age.

Lots of my friends who are my age at least have got pregnant fairly easily.

Good luck.

I'd second LondonLottie

Start checking the obvious problems.....

Are you ovulating (maybe need to chart your cycles to check - you can get advice on how to do it here if you need to I'm an ex-charter and so is LL!)

When are you ovulating - again charting will help (you may be having sex at the wrong time of the month - I'm currently PG with a baby conceived very early in my cycle, day 9 not day 14 like people expect)

Go to GP and start getting yourselves tested - it takes time and you need to get going.

Lifestyle changes (lots of sex, less alcohol, no saunas/hot baths for DH, vitamins for you both, hypnotherapy (this helped me relax about it all, Dh wasn't keen!), reduce stress - try Zita west books as she has lots of tips) Most of these won't help if you have a "problem" but will increase likelihood of conception

38 after trying for a month or so.

45 (not trying at all!!!!)

Started trying for the first time, though I never tried temping and all that, at 36 and it took 9 months to get lucky, by which time I'd turned 37 and I wasn't far off 38 when ds was born. 2nd time round at 38 we conceived the first time with no contraception - I'm now 39 and 31 weeks pregnant with no 2, and I know others this has happened to as often women find they're more fertile soon after having a baby (I was surprised the effect lasted a year).

I know someone who changed jobs from one with good maternity leave to one which lots of people warned her against taking, and found herself pg after 14 months of trying. Probably not ideal but I think she was happy about the baby.

After 15 months, don't give up but do seek medical advice.

I had my DS at 39 - a totally unplanned and unexpected PG (one drunken bunk-up without contraception).
Don't give up.

Thanks to everyone.
Some of you may be aware of me from previous posts.
I feel as though I have been to hell and back on this tbh.
For the last year I have had nothing but irregular periods not knowing when they were going to come and have even missed 2 to 5 months at a time.
It was queried as to whether I could be menopausel as a fsh test I had done back in July showed my fsh as being 62 while I was experiencing a 5 month absence with my af and some horrible possible menopausel symptoms to go along with it.
The doctor at the fertility clinic was very good and said I could be in premature ovarian failure and put me on a months supply of hrt to try and kickstart my ovaires again.
This does appear to have worked as for once I am getting a regular cycle and a recent day 21 test showed that I had ovulated.
They tell me that i am still in with a chance as there is clearly still eggs there but of course there is no telling how long this chance will last.
They didn,t suggest any fruther tests so I have basically got to leave things to nature now, I can,t afford any private treatment if needed.
I am worried to death about it all tbh I just don,t know whats going to happen.

Have you tried accupuncture? I saw a great woman who is also a midwife. It was helpful and relaxing. She also prescribed supplements to me. Teh great thing about her was that she was trained in western midwifery but also had the eastern training - very down to earth. Are you in London? she has a practice in north london

Hi lostit,

My list is as follows:

My mother gave birth to my brother at 38.
My next door's neighbour's mum had her at 38.
My next door neighbour's sister gave birth at 38.
My work colleague's wife had a baby at 38.
My best friend's mother had her last child at 38.

There is definitely hope.

Took me three weeks to conceive DTS when I was 39yo.

It did for me when I was 37 and 4 months!

Am sure you've tried all sorts of things, but know that accupuncture helped me when for no apparent reason, my periods stopped.

Reflexology has helped some, and if nothing else, a foot rub is bliss

Of course it can happen for you. My cousin had 2 via IVF when she was over 40, and then had her DD2 as a 'surprise' when she was 43...

My mum was 38 when she had me. Her & my dad had been trying for 4 years, they'd been to see a fertility doctor and had pretty much decided to give up, that's when she found out she was pregnant. She always reckons she got pregnant cos she stopped worrying about wanting to be pregnant iykwim.

Disagree about giving the acupuncture a miss. No firm proof but lots of friends with fertility issues tried it and subsequently got pregnant. May have been a coincidence but def worth a try I think..

Londonlottie- agree that acupuncture, if used, should be alongside medical treatment and investigations, rather than instead of.

Had DC4 at 38.
Couple of missed pills one month was all it took...well,plus the obvious of course

I agree with londonlottie. Yes, lots of women get pregnant in their late 30s and early 40s but you have already been trying for 18 months. I really think you need more aggressive investigation and treatment - it doesn't necessarily have to be IVF. At the very least I would ask for a dye test (HSG) to make sure your tubes are clear. Did the doctor scan your ovaries? Have they tried a clomid challenge test?

Sorry to be so blunt. I wish I had said this to my friend when she was trying, but didn't want to seem pushy. Now she has finally started IVF at 41 and her chances of conceiving are considerably lower than when she first started ttc 6 years ago.

Sorry 15 months not 18 months.

Good luck, I really hope it works out for you. We started trying when I was 35, have a ds born just before I turned 40 and I'll be 44 when second dc is born. You are young compared to me!

All my DDs conceived and born after I was 35. Took two years to conceive 1st and 2nd times and then had a happy 'accident' with DD3. Good luck to you.

I conceived after 7 months at age 36, miscarried, conceived again after 5 months and gave birth at age 37. Good luck.

On the acupuncture front, I did have it and do feel it helped but yes that is just anecdotal evidence. But it definitely made me less anxious, which must be a positive. And we didn't have any other known fertility problems (had been checked for ovulating and DP's sperm count).