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Original poster

Does anyone want to share their wisdom on having a third, I have so many issues

36 replies

mosschops30 · 09/07/2008 18:44

Ok, so have been feeling pretty broody for about a week now. Have discussed it with dh and he seems up for no.3.

Now I have lots of problems to do with this and just want you wise lot to sort me out because really theyre not that important they just niggle me.

Me and dh havent had the best year, in fact its been really shit, with us nearly splitting about 3 times. No for anything major, neither of us have been unfaithful or stopped loving each other its just days to day stuff and general pissing each other off. When we have considered splitting its been pretty scary thinking about being on my own with 2 children, how would I feel with 3??
Also I have huge body issues, it took me about 18 months to get my figure back after ds, am now back into a size 8 and go to the gym and classes regularly, Im not sure how I'd cope with being pregnant again, body wise?
How different is it to the first two, does your body ever recover after 3 babies? Is it always a bigger baby, is labour better or worse?

Lots more questions but will leave it at that for now TIA

OP posts:
geisha · 09/07/2008 18:52

Will watch this thread with interest mosschops. Am in similar position but with different issues.

crokky · 09/07/2008 18:57

Also in similar position with different issues!!

Original poster
mosschops30 · 09/07/2008 19:00

perhaps we should just go for it ladies

OP posts:
luceyd · 09/07/2008 20:23

Can I join! Convinced I wanted two but for the last two years have flirted with the idea of having three. I range from an overwhelming desire to have another to looking at my two and thinking I should quit while i'm ahead!

Pro's - large family (only child so love the idea of this) - Another baby / toddler etc, love the pre school years and have great fun with them - Love the idea of three older children as well.

Cons- finances, not on a day to day basis but holidays, trips out etc. - Body issues, like you Mosschops I have just about got back to normal (if you ever can) and resent the thought of putting on weight. - Time, can you really give enough?

My age gap would be at least 4 years between the youngest and 6 from the oldest - Although maybe easier on a practical level will this leave any 3rd detached from the other two? Also if we go somewhere will DH and I always have to do independantly as the older two will want to do different things than the younger one???

I have seriously thought about therapy for this one ...!

gigglewitch · 09/07/2008 20:29

ooooh am i the only one answering ?
no3 was..
my only 'normal' pg, thus the "best" (of a bad job, you understand...)
easiest birth, shortest labour etc (once it actually got going, that is)
smallest baby, mine went 1lb smaller each time

she is fab. family complete.
We were also convinced we wanted two. then errrr, three
best thing i ever did.

But no more, I am terminally knackered but it is good.

notnowbernard · 09/07/2008 20:30

I am truly split also

Half of me has that biological desire (longing?) to have another baby. I know dp would be up for it. I know it would 'all be alright in the end' if it were to be a bit wobbly for a while

But the other half thinks "but it's so lovely now, getting a bit easier"... why disrupt everything, IYKWIM?

And can't afford it and don't have the space

scorpio1 · 09/07/2008 20:32

I have found 3 less hard than the jump from 1-2 personally.

Body issue - yup, me too. have always been a 6/8 - 3 weeks after birth i was back in my 8 clothes - BF is fab for that.

My baby was 8lb 9oz, other dc were 6lb 11 and 8lb 1, quicker labour, VERY forceful iyswim. Had a HB for the first time - best thing ever

theboob · 09/07/2008 20:35

the best thing ever,easy birth smaller baby,mine also went down in size ,i would love another baby,i found weight hard to lose after num 2,fell off after num 3,money issues are a little tighter but so worth it ,and if your dc are a bit older its so much easier my dc love their little brother

gigglewitch · 09/07/2008 20:38

I can see where you all are in your heads, as it were, we always knew we wanted a family - thus no1 decided on, and that we wanted more than one - so no2 was also an easy decision. no3 however felt like a totally different can of worms, with 'timing' and all kinds of stuff, especially the other 2 dc to take into account so a harder "decision" iyswim. We got down to the 'well if we are talking about it we both want it and if we both want it then we'll regret it if we don't try '

OurHamsterisevil · 09/07/2008 20:49

Wow, there seems to be so many people going through the big decision of whether to increase to 3 kids. I am too.

My main worry is speed of labour, not a usual one I suppose. DS1 4 hrs, DS2 1hr 45, so I do worry what would happen next time.

Lots of people seem to have positive things to say about having 3 though. If I decide we can afford it I think we will go for it. Remarkably DS1 would like another baby to dribble all over his toys

OurHamsterisevil · 09/07/2008 20:51

Gigglewitch, I do feel I will regret it if we don't try. DH has said that too

notnowbernard · 09/07/2008 20:54

OOh, Gigglewitch...

You've thrown a spanner in the works now!

Dp has said he wants another one. I am pretty sure I want another one. Sadly it is the horrible materialistic/practicality/financial side of it that is the major hurdle

gigglewitch · 09/07/2008 20:55

btw at the risk of causing you lot to start a population increase i agree with scorpio that the jump to three is easier than 1 to 2.

gigglewitch · 09/07/2008 20:56

sorry nnb

notnowbernard · 09/07/2008 20:57

Gigglewitch - I mean that the last line of your last post spoke VOLUMES of good sense!

You are in danger of convincing me to go for no.3

kiltycoldbum · 09/07/2008 20:58

i want another (to make 3) had csection 5 1/2 months ago, how soon is too soon? really? and also found out recently my father was a twin, would i be anymore likely to have twins even though last 2 havent been?

how can i be broody when i have a 5 1/2 month old baby sleeping away in his cot!?

we do want a big family though. im one of 6.

ilovemydog · 09/07/2008 20:58

Oh stop all this positive stuff about number 3!

notnowbernard · 09/07/2008 20:58

(about the regret at not trying)

gigglewitch · 09/07/2008 20:58

get on with it then woman....

GivePeasAChance · 09/07/2008 21:01

Our hamster is evil too

osborne · 09/07/2008 21:08

Have three under four and its lovely, but i do have a couple of hours help each morning. One to two much harder, than two to three. WAs depressed after 2 but fine with 3, also labour longer but more better with 3rd.
Once you get to know them you can't help but love them.
Woudl kill for a week off though!

Original poster
mosschops30 · 11/07/2008 10:01

If we did go for No. 3, ds would be 4.5 and dd would be 13
so i suppose that cancels out the worry about days out and stuff because we rarely get something that they will both enjoy (i just took dd to alton towers, ds goes to the park etc).
I would be grateful for the quicker labour, dd was 25 hours, ds a more pleasing 6.5 hours.

Oh i dont know, think Im gonna sit on it for now, realistically i would need to be pg by January 09, so I have a bit of time

OP posts:
JLo2 · 11/07/2008 18:17

I have number 3 and obviuosly wouldn't change him for the world!
In answer to your 'issues':
My labour was a similar length to the other two (LONG!). He was not the heaviest (pfb was!). My other 2 were early and he was a day late!

JLo2 · 11/07/2008 18:18

Clearly No 3 means I can't spell!

Nemoandthefishes · 11/07/2008 18:21

oh I love having 3 even if my third is the hardest work out of them all. I would love one more...
In answer to questions it is different and is not as balanced as 2 are so one will be left out/alone sometimes but to be honest it works ok as they get some alone time...however they do all play really nicely and love having a trio.
Never got my body back but might be more to do with 4 pregnancies in under 3yrs,,and never having much of a body to begin with
DD1 and DD2 both weighed exactly the same when born[6.14] where ds was 9lb.1 born.