Trying to conceive is straining our relationship after nearly a year

[Yesmaybenoprobs]

Hello,

I’m in my mid-30s and DH and I have been trying for a baby for almost a year, with no luck so far.

It’s starting to put a real strain on our relationship, and I’m worried we’ve handled some things badly. Part of me is also wondering whether DH is genuinely ready for a baby.

He never seems as disappointed as I am when my period arrives. He usually stays positive and says things like, “I’m sure it’ll happen next month.”

He has also become frustrated because he feels we only have sex around ovulation. He says it makes him feel as though I don’t really want him. I do want him, but honestly, I haven’t felt particularly interested in sex outside the fertile window recently.

I also told him that I would love him even more if he gave me a baby, which annoyed him.

I’ve also commented on the amount he ejaculates a few times and asked why there sometimes doesn’t seem to be very much. He seems massively touchy about that.

He’s grumpy, I’m anxious, and it feels as though we’re constantly rubbing each other up the wrong way.

Times running out and I’m starting to think it will never happen.

I went through the same with my husband - in the end I sat him down and explained about female reproductive biology - it’s amazing how little men really know! That we are only really fertile for around 48 hours that month etc

There’s a difference explaining that you need to have sex around ovulation to have a baby or ONLY having sex around ovulation which is what the OP says her husband is complaining about. You can make sure you have sex lots around ovulation but still have sex for fun the rest of the month. Otherwise I don’t blame a man for feeling a bit used if out of say 30 days a month the woman is only wanting sex for 4/5 of them in a row (and probably only for the simple reason she wants a baby). Saying “I’ll be happy when you give me a baby” and only wanting sex a few days a month to achieve that aim only isn’t very nice.

Did you also tell him you'd love him more if he gave you a baby, or that the amount of ejaculate he produced was inadequate?

Hello, I read your post and just wanted to reach out to offer some gentle support. Going through a year of trying to conceive is incredibly draining, and the toll it takes on a relationship is so heavy. Please know that your feelings of anxiety and the strain you are experiencing are completely valid. I am sending you thoughts of peace, strength, and comfort as you navigate this difficult time.