Trying naturally for a second baby at 41 after low AMH results

[newmumcrazytired]

I am 41. I know. Old. I am trying for my second baby. We have been trying for 8 or 9 months. We saw a consultant yesterday and my AMH is 0.8. 6 follicles. He said he wouldn’t recommend IVF because the chances of retrieving a viable egg with such a low AMH reading is very low. He recommended to continue trying naturally. I’m gutted. Any success stories of getting pregnant naturally at 41 without dying from the stress and pressure of it? He recommended having sex twice a week rather than by the ovulation monitor readings and taking C10 co-enzyme 200mg, which I’ve bought. I just keep thinking I’ve missed the boat and it is hitting me so hard. I suffered a horrendous miscarriage before my daughter was born but this somehow feels worse. I have cried a lot today. Really struggling and feel so guilty my daughter is seeing this. I think it might be a depression, which I have suffered from before.

I guy pregnant naturally at 40 and 42 (giving birth at 41 and 43). We didn’t do anything special except have sex at least twice or three times week. Took about four months both times.
We took the attitude that if it happens it happens rather than charting or anything like that. Hope it happens for you soon.

Thank you so much. That’s really inspiring. I wish my brain could take on the ‘if it happens, it happens’ approach. I’m not very good at that.

I keep thinking should I give up my job so I’m not so stressed? But then my job is a useful distraction. I work 26 hours a week over 3 days. I have my daughter for the other two days. It means life is quite full on. Will I regret working if I can not have another baby? I’m sure work must have noticed I’m not good atm too, which is adding to it all.

Is there any other success stories? Drowning in despair here

Im
44 and my LO is 2 this month ☺️ hubby took those male sachet thingys and I took all the vits etc I have a friend who took the pill that they give you when your trying before having IVF clometrazole? Something like that? Anyway, we would love another one but I’m realllly old! Sending all the baby dust ☺️🌻 good luck, you’ll get there x.

Thank you so much! That’s really inspiring. I’ll look into those vitamins.

Miscarriage at 40 after a few months of trying naturally. Pregnant again at 41, again naturally. Problem-free pregnancy. Wonderful, wonderful DD, now 23, my only child. Please keep going!

Thank you so much. You’ve given me hope 😊

Good 😊 Patterns of fertility often run down the female line. Do you have relations who had children in their 40s? It's also worth remembering that until two generations ago, many women carried on having babies into their 40s because contraception wasn't reliable.

I’m 41 and had a horrible miscarriage in April just before my birthday, ironically we were preventing when we conceived that one but it made us both realise how much we what a second one. Cycle four of trying and it’s so hard. Solidarity, my son is almost same age as your daughter. Did you say she’s four? I definitely wouldn’t give up work for this unless you hate your job and want to find someone else

who did you see? Six follicles is ok.

@Spanglishmummy3 what are these make fertility sachets please?

Yes, my mum had my sister at 40 and my brother at 43. Because of that, I had always assumed my fertility would be good at this point, which was why I was so surprised in my consultation with the IVF consultant this week that my AMH was so low and indicates such low ovarian reserve. I’m devastated to be honest and beginning to think my mum was just very lucky and offered a lot of false hope. The women in my father’s line had children relatively young. My mum has a bicoruate uterus, as did her mum, her sister and my sister inherited too. To my surprise, I have a normal shaped uterus, which makes me think that my inner workings and fertility may have been inherited from my father’s line. Do you know if that is possible? I’m so worried about it all.

If you really want another child would you consider a doner egg? I feel like that’s much more of a sure thing for you

My daughter is 3 in August. I had her at 38. I always knew I wanted 2, but my husband is so slow coming round to the idea. It is so hard. The hope and despair each month is agonising. My job is ok, really. Not perfect and stressful at times but probably not worth giving up as I think I’d become completely obsessed and drive myself mad with TTC. Do you take any supplements? I take the Seven Seas prenatal and the consultant recommended the co-enzyme C10 200mg yesterday so I took that today. It is agonising, isn’t it? Thank you for the solidarity 😊

The consultant did recommend that yesterday and it was the thing that made me cry. He said we could use my husband’s sperm and a donor egg “from a younger woman”. He said it in such a casual way, like he was ordering a coffee. I don’t know. It feels uncomfortable at the moment. I totally understand that for other people it is the right decision. Would it mean my daughter and her sibling are only half-siblings? It is so complicated.

I don't have any genetic knowledge at all, I'm afraid, other than the 50:50 principle. Worth asking your consultant?

I only had the one consultation as it was for IVF and it was recommended not to go down that route but to continue trying naturally. According to AI, ovarian reserve can run down the female line but perhaps I’m clutching at straws!

We went to FTP Oxford, btw. But saw a consultant in Worcester. I thought they’d be throwing themselves at us to do IVF as we’ve conceived naturally before and you know for the money! But no, said we’d have roughly the same chance with IVF as trying to conceive naturally. 5% chance. I was shocked. I thought all women who got pregnant in their 40s used IVF. Little did I know. So little 😢

From observing a close relation and a friend, IVF looks like a tremendous ordeal. I can't see that it makes any difference which line ovarian reserve runs down. Ovaries are ovaries.

Thank you. I think if there was a good chance IVF would be successful - even a 20% chance - we’d have jumped at it. But he said 5% because of the low AMH and so low ovarian reserve. He said I’d probably tolerate it well physically but I think it’s because there is such a low chance of retrieving a viable egg. Gutted. But will continue to try naturally. It’s hard to hope but not expect it to happen.

It’s good to know 6 follicles is ok. Tbh, I’m not certain the reading was very accurate as she struggled to see the left ovary. She said there were 3 in each ovary in the end but it didn’t feel like an exact science. They said AMH is a better marker, which was really low. Gutted.

Your AMH and very low IVF success rate is normal for your age and unfortunately that means diminished reserve. I think it’s selfish that your husband waited until your late 30s to get you pregnant knowing you wanted more than one. He will have known fertility decreases dramatically by your late 30s and even more in your 40s.

I know a couple of women who had children in their early 40s but also know lots who don’t have children. I’m a lot younger than you and have one child. Sometimes it makes me sad I won’t be able to do this again but I really love having one child! There are lots of positives of having an only.

Yes, I did put another thread up about my husband as I do feel a lot of resentment at times. People said I should take responsibility too, which I agree. It is hard to accept though.

I think, in time, I could definitely come to terms with having just my daughter. She is truly wonderful and I love her so much. I know I am so very lucky to have her. I suppose it is hard to adjust your expectations and what you thought your life would look like. Conceiving has been the hardest part of my life by quite a long way. I never realised it would be like this. I think I put too much pressure on myself.

I was younger when I got pregnant, but swear by the “have regular sex not lots of sex around ovulation” theory. With my first I did everything correctly in terms of OPKs and timing intercourse and I swear that it caused me and my husband so much stress that it completely negated any chance of it working. With number two we just had sex at least twice a week and it made me I took a prenatal vitamin. I could never get into the “if it happens it happens” mindset either, so trying to stay as unstressed as possible was important for my sanity. Good luck.

Thank you. That is so helpful to know. We will keep trying. I think that’s my only option,

I would suggest a very clean diet, lots of good quality protein. 400-600mg a day. High strength Methylfolate, very good quality multivitamin and Omega 3 capsules. I have just had my 4th child at 41. I did all these things and it happened. Good Luck!