TTC after loss part 6

[Figtree11]

Previous thread created is nearly full so starting a new one. Will try and tag names

I’m sorry I have no experience of this so can’t offer any guidance or reassurance.
how are you recovery from your surgical management?

i think my body is trying to ovulate…let’s see how successful it is with my bbt over the next few days. I’ve attached my chart.

I’ve also just got back to with this week which is really tough but also a relief to have some normality too.

we also have an appointment to get our cytogenetic test results on Monday which I’m super anxious about

Here’s my chart

@Ncl31 we had this after our 3rd loss. I was nervous too, it was a strange appointment. Strange feeling generally. Got more information about what caused the miscarriage, but still don’t really know how to feel about it.

We found out the embryo had Trisomy 15, which I think was maybe the best outcome, because trisomies are usually de novo and having one doesn’t seem to make another more likely. Whereas chromosomal translocations might be passed on from a parent, which is maybe the ‘worst’ result because there’s always a risk that will be passed on? They did karyotyping on us just in case… but we never found out the results…! But it was sad to know that that embryo would just never have made it. Nothing anyone could have done, they lived as long as they were ever going to.

One thing I would say is think about whether you want to know whether there was a XX (girl) or XY (boy) chromosome. It’ll probably be on the paperwork so you need to avoid looking/avoid asking if you’d rather not know, or at least prepare for how knowing might make you feel. I thought I wanted to know, and I looked, but now it haunts me a bit as I will probably now have 2 kids of the other gender and no more, so it’s quite a what-might-have-been knowing how our family would have looked different. (Although of course I feel so grateful for what I have!!)

Hi @Notsure31 I've had over 6 d&c. I had a hysteocospy last year and it came back fine. It did take me longer each time to fall pregnant. But I'm not sure if it caused any of my last 4 misscarriges second and first trimester. I'm currently pregnant 34 weeks

@Melusina123 so sorry to learn you’ve been through the awful journey too.
i feel very much the same about the appointment too, very torn about what I’d like the results to be I guess. Obviously the only thing I ever wanted was to have a healthy living child. Part of me thinks it might be some closure if we find out there was a trisomy as it will stop me “blaming myself” about all of this. But then im not sure how I’ll react to anything.
i was hoping this appointment would be before I went back to work incase it totally knocks me back, but i needed to get back and with no idea of when it would come I just took the plunge, typically on my first day back I got notification of the appointment.

it’s a strange one finding out the gender, i guess I don’t really know at the moment. I’ve read some people are inadvertently told as of its Turner’s syndrome then we will automatically know as that only affects XX.

Hopefully it will give clarity rather than clouds and we can have some closure and begin to move forwards with TTC once again. I’m just terrified of going through this all again right now.

@Ncl31 i’m so sorry 💕I hope you get some useful information/closure and it helps you move forward. Regardless of the outcome, you are not to blame, trying to have kids is just a sht gig and some of us just get the shttier end of it.

Thank you, fingers crossed.it certainly is rubbish and life is so unfair

Hi guys, hope you don’t mind me re-joining. I started this thread but took a break after TTC was taking a while. However, just recently gone through my third MMC. That was 3 weeks ago, and I’m now waiting on the genetic test results. Been told it could be 12 weeks.
@Ncl31 i’m so sorry to hear you had another loss. You sound in a similar situation to me with the genetic results. I hope your appointment next week goes ok. I am feeling very apprehensive about what’s to come

Hi, hope it’s okay to join. Just finished my first cycle ttc again after an ectopic. My cycles are still a bit all over so hoping this next one is a bit more regular

@Figtree11 hope you’re doing okay❤️

I’m so sorry to hear you’re back here again. Of course you are very welcome.
it sounds like we’re 4 weeks apart. I know exactly how you feel right now.
ww found out about our MMC at 11+5, our baby stopped growing at 10+1. Had a surgical management as recommended by the hospital.
I hope you don’t have to wait the full 12 weeks for your results, it feels like torture.
it’ll be 8weeks to the hour that we get our results. Weirdly our appointment is at the exact same time I was scanned.

@Ncl31 it’s been a rough ride, I had another bleed a week after my ERPC and cramps, eventually got seen by a doctor at hospital after initially being fobbed off by epau and I’ve got an infection, endometritis which I’ve had before. And on antibiotics. The weirdest thing is they tested my hcg at hospital and it came out at a level of 5.9 so pretty much negative. I know you’re not meant to but I did another test today on the cheapies and a FRER and both came out faint positive still which I don’t understand as it was 5.9 on a blood test at the hospital a week ago, those tests aren’t meant to detect that sensitivity. The chance of retained tissue is minimal as the MVA was done with a camera. It’s the most confusing and stressful situation ever. Definitely not a new pregnancy either.

@SnakebitesandSambucas thanks that’s given me a bit more reassurance, I’m booked for another hysteroscopy in a few weeks and anticipating the worst that there will be scar tissue or this infection I have won’t have cleared but hoping for the best.

Goodness, just reading through the last page of messages. I don’t know what to say other than I hope that the awaited genetics results bring some form of comfort or resolution, and the awaited scans/hysteroscopies give good news.

i jumped on here in a panic a week or so ago when i knew something was up with my second pregnancy (first was mmc) and lo, I’m currently in expectant management for an ectopic. I narrowly missed losing my tube so I’ve that to be thankful for, but on the fence whether that’s actually a good thing as of course it might just mean more ectopics. Both mcs have been a narrow miss with surgery actually, so at least my body has half the message. It’s certainly sullied my longing to be pregnant again, but I don’t really have time to wait with v low amh and being 39. I wish someone could tell me the end to my story.

Just coming up to the end of my second post-MC cycle - temps have nosedived and BFNs so nothing to cling onto - and I just want to scream. WHY can't things go our way for once?! I know I'm incredibly lucky with my two DCs but is it so selfish for me to be longing for a third? The sheer injustice of trying for three years, it happening just when I was making peace with the idea of giving up, and the cruel MC on the 3rd anniversary of the first one (but when I was slightly further on and had been reassured by stronger lines). Surely it's our turn soon?! And of course the MC has thrown all notions of stopping out the window for the time being, even though I'm fairly sure that continuing is pointless. I'm going into the office today (pointless presenteeism because my employer demands a certain amount of in office working) but just want to hide under a rock. I should have had my 12 week scan this week.

I’m so sorry that all sounds really rough.
I hope you get your happy ending soon

@Ncl31 thank you, struggling with this being my reality. Never thought recurrent miscarriages would be something that would happen.
We do sound very similar in terms of timelines. I went with medical management as i was kind of guided down that route, but having to collect the pregnancy & store it to take back to the hospital the next day wasn’t nice.
Thats good that you got your results in 8 weeks. I was told it’s up to 12, but has been a bit quicker recently. So I was hoping it would be 10 weeks max. I guess they’ve given you no indication yet of what the results are? Did they give you much warning of when to go in for the appointment? I hope it goes as well as can be

@BGxxx thank you xx

@Figtree11 @Ncl31 FWIW when I was invited to the mtg about my cytogenetic results I emailed and asked them for an idea of what the results where and the midwife responded in a way that made it pretty clear the outcome was a genetic issue of some sort. So it’s possible they may be willing to give a preview of what the meeting is likely to contain?

To be honest it’s pretty rubbish int terms of appointment.
I work in the operating department I had my surgery in. So when I went back to work this week I emailed to chase the results. I was then passed to another consultant as apparently that’s who has my results now…. I’m anxious about this because that consultant deals with high risk antenatal care.
30 minutes after I sent the second email to chase a secretary rang me to give me an appointment for July…. I instantly just broke down on the phone as I felt that was way too long to wait.
So she’s managed to squeeze me in at the end of a clinic next week. Only 6 days notice. Thankfully it’s a Monday and my hubby works from home so he’s able to come with me.

@Melusina123 thanks, that’s interesting. When I was told the bad news at the scan, im sure she said something about if something is found then me & DP will get called in for a blood test. But I don’t remember now if that would be during the 12 week wait or after. As I thought that might indicate something too if they called

@Ncl31 oh wow, July! That’s madness. I can’t believe they were going to make you wait that long, that’s crazy. I was hoping once the 12 week wait was over I’d be seen quickly. At my first appt last year the consultant said that even though it was a 6 month wait to be seen, that now I’m in the system it would be a 1-2 week wait. So I’m hoping it will be more like that!

Hopefully it is for you. Are you being seen at a fertility centre?
mine is just a standard hospital appointment.
we have our fertility appointment on Wednesday. That is a review following the miscarriage. Hopefully they’ll be able to give us an idea of a plan for next steps.
hubby isn’t able to be at that appointment though because of work. I feel a little upset about it because I’m not sure he’s tried to get it off. But I don’t want to go on and on about it incase that’s his way of coping.
hes away with work at the minute and due back tomorrow, I’ve really struggled with him being away this time :(

Oh ladies, there has been such a lot of sadness on this thread. I’ve just had a read through the last few messages. Sending you all strength.

@Figtree11 I’m not sure if this is useful information for you as I didn’t have a miscarriage but instead a TFMR at 22 weeks but I’m assuming it’s the same aftercare process regarding testing. When the initial results came back from baby the consultant rang me and explained that it could be an inherited genetic condition and that she would advise that both me and me partner were tested. I think that call was within about 8 weeks and then we were both blood tested that week. It took another 6-8 weeks to actually get the results from this as we needed to speak to a geneticist.

I’m in the 2ww at the moment. This is cycle 6 (I think) of trying. Chemical 2 cycles ago. Hoping that I get some good news soon

Hello, I was wondering if anyone had been prescribed norethisterone? I’d liked to know what it’s like, any problems conceiving after etc? xx

@Ncl31 i’m under Tommy’s clinic. They’ve been good so far, so I’m hoping once the results are in it won’t be too long to be seen.
Is your fertility appointment the same as miscarriage clinics? I feel like it’s different in different places, I find it confusing!
I’m sorry your DH can’t be there for it - it’s hard doing these things alone, but I know men deal with these things differently to us. I’ll be thinking of you next week, please let me know how you get on

@Fullofconfusion thanks for sharing, that’s really useful info. I’m so sorry about your loss, I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been at 22 weeks. It’s good to know about how long the blood test results take - we were told if something came up we’d need to see a genetic counsellor. All just waiting game now. I’ve my fingers crossed for you in this TWW. We all deserve some good news

@Figtree11 yes they’re separate clinics.
The genetic testing for done when I went in for my d&c.
im not even sure if the fertility clinic know I’ve had that done. I’ll be telling them on Wednesday if they don’t though.
it all feels very disjointed.
when I spoke to my husband on the phone just before he was asking why I feel so anxious about next week and I explained about going to the appointment alone. He’s going to speak to his schedule team to see if they can move things around for him to be able to come. Maybe he just didn’t realise how it was making me feel.
ill let you know as soon as I know anything.
im not under tommys but I did speak to them after this loss because I just wasn’t coping well at all.

@Ncl31 ahh I see - I think mine would have been disjointed too if I’d had the testing done at my local hospital. But I had a scan at Tommys that showed the baby had no heartbeat, so had the testing done under their hospital which isn’t my local one.
Oh I’m glad your DH is seeing if he can get the time off. Just having someone there sat beside you helps. And it’s all such a lot to take in it’s good to then have another set of ears listening to what’s going on in case you miss anything. Hopefully this is one step closer to finding some answers and to your rainbow baby