TTC after loss part 6

[Figtree11]

Previous thread created is nearly full so starting a new one. Will try and tag names

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis Ncl31. I recently lost a baby due to triplody too.

Unfortunately I think this pregnancy is not viable. While I’ve finally started getting pink dye positives, they’re still relatively faint (even if appearing during the window and visible). I’ve been advised to test again in one or two days and if the lines still haven’t darkened to get bloods.

Unfortunate update - GP won’t refer me to bloods but has provided the view that this is a chemical pregnancy based on lack of line progress and the spotting I am experiencing. I’m trying to arrange bloods privately, but given that it’s a bank holiday weekend I’m not having much luck.

I am just trying to get through today. I know a chemical isn’t the same as losing a confirmed pregnancy, but two of these in a row is hard.

@Matthew54 I’m so sorry - that’s really tough news. I always used to say similar about my losses (they were all mmc but discovered between 7-10weeks) as I was concious of my friends (2 had losses in 2nd trimester and one sadly had a loss at birth - all if which I can only imagine must be so hard/traumatic) but I still think that the minute you see the positive test, you immediately imagine that future. So even when it is early, you mourn the loss of the future you imagined as well the sadness that comes with it not progressing, the anxiety of why it might have happened, and the frustration of being back at square one. It’s all really comples and such a tricky time. Definitely be kind to yourself x

Thank you to everyone who has reached out, I really appreciate it. We’ve finally gone ahead and started the registration process with a fertility clinic. I know likely there won’t be any clear answers, but I’m hoping it will be intellectually helpful.

Hey, how is everyone doing? I have started the process of NHS fertility investigations but to be honest I am not sure if I am just wasting my time. My tubes were checked during my surgery in January, I have privately checked my AMh levels which are fine and my testosterone levels which are a little high. I already had a child so won't get IVF and we privately checked my husbands sperm a few weeks ago which appears to be super sperm. So not sure what else they would do. Ideally I would like a biopsy doing to check for endometritis infection but not sure if I would be able to get that on NHS or not

They may offer ovulation induction
Sometimes even if u ovulate alone , they like you to ' super ovulate '

I went to my first fertility clinic appointment and left a little heartbroken. Everything looked great, except that I was diagnosed with mild adenonmyosis, which I didn’t have before my D&C in March. The consultant implied that IVF is my best chance as the adeno could explain my two back to back losses.

I am gutted. I am worried about creating more viable embryos than I have capacity to raise and then just leaving them in the dark. I’m also worried about the ethics of doing this. What if I have a girl and pass down my fertility issues to her because I forced this?

My ivf consultant believes i have suspected endo and / or ademoysis

But ivf still sometimes works

Hi I have severe endometriosis and adenomyosis. Still managed to get pregnant. But I did have multiple misscarriges. I had a hysteocospy and a exploratory lap then fell pregnant and holding my newborn now. They are good for cleaning everything out apparently. Now going back on waiting list for excision not ablation of scar adhesions. Push for treatment if you can

Also I have a daughter and feel the guilt about possibly putting this on her as well. But I knew that the females in my family had issues keeping pregnancies. So my advice might be for her to start young. But she's only 6 so not going to tell her yet lol

Thanks everyone for your kind words. We have made the decision to stop trying for a bit to let us heal emotionally from back to back miscarriages and to discern if this is a path we want to continue down. I sincerely hope everyone here gets their rainbow baby. I’ll be hoping for you.

How is everyone? This chat has gone a bit quiet. Hopefully that just means everyone is now pregnant and I am the only one still TTC 🤣

22 weeks with my second girl 🩷 hoping you manage to conceive really soon xx

@Mummysparrow you’re not the only one still TTC. I’ve taken a step back from threads as can’t deal with being one of the only ones left still waiting to have a baby. Sorry you’re still trying too

@Figtree11i know what you mean. I am in and out of the July TTC group but I can't handle the people moaning about them not being pregnant yet and they are on their 3rd cycle 😑

@Mummysparrow yeah I just can’t cope with that. I’m 2 years in to this with 3 losses & no kids so find I can’t relate so find it easier for my wellbeing to just not join in. Urgh it’s just a crap journey, I’m pretty sick of it as you can probably tell 😆

@Figtree11completly understand. I have bumped myself up the NHS waiting list for the infertility clinic by going self funded so I am seeing a consultant this week (would have been March otherwise) . I am hoping to get some answers as to why I now can't conceive since my loss.
Are you having any investigations?

Also sick of it.

I have to say I’ve been extremely fortunate to have received so much grace from the people around me, including here. It makes feel hopeful and happy that we can support one another during the worst times of our lives.

I’ve experienced a significant rupture in my faith during all of this, I just miss my baby so much. But I now believe more in us, if that makes sense. And our ability to care for one another.

@Mummysparrow that’s good news - although a pain you’ve had to pay for it yourself. Do you know what the appointment will entail?
I had tests done where I was told I had pcos. I also had a high marker for APS on first blood test, but second test result was normal. So I wasn’t treated for APS in the last pregnancy. But if I get pregnant again then I’ll be on aspirin & blood thinning injections in case the second result was faulty or something. But because of the pcos it takes a while to get pregnant so now a waiting game.

@Matthew54 sorry that you are also sick of it. I am surrounded by pregnant women at the moment but they have all been very kind & understanding of me

@Figtree11 I believe it is to go through medical history and plan and further tests. In terms of cost it isn't too bad as it is £250 and I know some IVF clinics charge £500 plus for a consultation.
With your PCOS are your cycles regular? Have you thought about taking aspirin after ovulation to see if it helps you get pregnant?
I have thought about using fertilysis to do some further testing as you can getting immunology and endometritis testing through them but it is cheaper then in the UK

@Mummysparrow oh that’s not a bad price at all. Worth it to get you seen. I hope you get some answers.
My cycles aren’t regular, they tend to be around 6 weeks long, if not longer. But I’m now on metformin to help & it has seemed to reduce them down, last cycle was 40 days, and one before was 35 days. The consultant I’m under has said to start aspirin after a positive test, so going to see how I get on for the remainder of the year before thinking of looking into more help I think

Im still here ladies, but have been advised to stop TTC until I have my last set of bloods for APS and appointment on 22nd August.
im really struggling with it all since my MMC in March.
these last 2 weeks have been really hard to be honest. I’ve felt that hubby is struggling with me being so emotional so I’m trying not to show it too much.
we’ve just arrived in Cyprus late last night so hopefully this holiday will help reset things.

so sorry you’re all still trying too

Hi ladies, sorry you’re still here.

I had a positive test in May so I thought I’d left the group behind but it wasn’t to be and I had a MMC 3 weeks ago. I thought I was 10 weeks, started spotting the day before my dating scan and knew it wasn’t going to be good news. Scan showed an empty sac and I miscarried naturally that evening. Last year we had a TFMR at 22 weeks due to a heart defect so I was already very nervous about this pregnancy.

Anyway, I’m back here. Starting to wonder if it’ll ever happen. I’m 40 now so don’t have age on my side. I’m trying to be positive though, back on the conception supplements and keeping everything crossed. No period yet so once that’s out of the way we’ll be trying again.

The waiting is so tough @Ncl31 I’m sorry you are struggling. My holiday a few weeks ago did me the world of good so I hope yours helps you a bit

@Fullofconfusion really sorry to hear of your MMC. It’s too cruel. I hope AF returns soon so you can get back to TTC