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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Desperate for baby but wedding in 8 months!! Advice please…

29 replies

stickytoffee95 · 18/12/2023 19:24

Hi ladies! Me and my fiancé are desperate for a baby and have been for a while, we are getting married in August next year. We have been waiting due to the wedding but would literally try now if that wasn’t the case! If we waited until the wedding to TTC it could be another 2 years until we have a baby! I wouldn’t want to be too far on at the wedding (due to my dress) - ideally between 12-16 weeks so that hopefully I’m not showing TOO much to be able to fit in my dress. I am currently on the IUD Mirena so was thinking of taking it out end of March/beginning of April. Not drinking at the wedding not an issue for me but I am worrying about being in the first trimester at the wedding and having lots of symptoms or potentially miscarrying in weeks leading up to it and how that could emotionally affect me. My Mum and a couple of cousins have had miscarriages. Do you have any advice? Xxx

OP posts:
kimchio · 18/12/2023 19:26

Have a small wedding at the registry office as soon as possible and crack on

inomniaparatis · 18/12/2023 19:30

How old are you OP? Are there any issues like PCOS that might make TTC trickier? Assuming you're relatively young and no other issues, I'd probably just wait the 8 months but start taking folic acid and be ready to ttc straight after the wedding. If other factors are at play however, you might want to start sooner. What does your DP think?

Whataretheodds · 18/12/2023 19:30

What's more important to you, a baby or a dress?

I had 2 MCs and am now halfway through 3rd trimester. I would struggled to do a wedding in the 1st trimester, bee. Fine if the 2nd, and been OK but a bit more tired in the 3rd. Boobs got massive early, quickly followed by bloating so I would have struggled fitting into something in the 1st tri, never mind 2nd and 3rd.
1st MC involved a hospital stay. 2nd I bled for a couple of weeks after MVA.

How old are you both? You can't know how long it will take or whether it will be successful first time. Why wait?

heldinadream · 18/12/2023 19:30

How old are you? Because if you're 22 and desperate you can wait, but if you're 38 and desperate you should crack on.

Original poster
stickytoffee95 · 18/12/2023 19:31

Wedding is already all booked and invites out!

OP posts:
Original poster
stickytoffee95 · 18/12/2023 19:35

Sorry guys am struggling working out how to reply directly to each message as new to this!
I’m 28 and no PCOS/endometriosis etc but had irregular/very heavy periods when a teenager. reason not trying now as worried I’ll get pregnant straight away and then literally be giving birth at the wedding!! Xx

OP posts:
Bartlebum · 18/12/2023 19:41

You likely won't show much until about 24 weeks if it's your first. I wouldn't have wanted to get married in the first trimester, however I was 16 weeks with my second child at mine and it was fine on the day and my dress fit normally even though I showed more than with the first. If it was me I would start trying about 28 -30 weeks ahead and I would buy a dress that was loose fitting on the stomach just in case. I wouldn't do it earlier especially if you fancied a foreign honeymoon and I would stop 12 weeks before if it hadn't happened as I felt like death at the start of each pregnancy. I like seeing my little bump in the pics! Crack on!

Devilsmommy · 18/12/2023 19:44

I was 8.5 months pregnant at my wedding and I loved it. Crack on I'd say. A dress can be changed, it's not as important as your future child😊

Christmassss · 18/12/2023 19:47

If you want to be pregnant on your wedding day then I think the second trimester is the best time as less symptoms such as sickness and not so much if the extreme tiredness.

BendingSpoons · 18/12/2023 19:48

At 28 I'd wait and enjoy your wedding and TTC from August. I felt very sick from 4 weeks to 14 weeks and was definitely showing by 14 weeks, albeit likely bloating more than actual baby. I conceived 1st month both times at 28 and 31.

inomniaparatis · 18/12/2023 19:56

Personally, at 28, and with the wedding all organised, I would wait. Track your cycle so you get to know your fertile window as best you can and just be ready to go in August. I hated being pregnant even with a fairly straightforward pregnancy so wouldn't have liked to be pregnant on my wedding day. But it's a very personal decision, only you can know what's most important to you.

thefallen · 18/12/2023 19:57

If you want a baby surely that's more important than a dress? Lots of visibly pregnant women get married.

Charlie2121 · 18/12/2023 19:58

Putting any life decision on hold because of a wedding is bonkers.

Treesinmygarden · 18/12/2023 20:01

I'd just enjoy life until after the wedding. You've plenty of time to have a baby. Once you become a mum, it's for life!

Mangotango39 · 18/12/2023 20:14

PCOS also here.

I would get your contraception out and get regular over the next 8 months (it can play havoc with your skin so wouldn't do it too close to the wedding) then starting getting to know your natural cycle.

Then get on you preconception vitamins (you and DH) 3 months prior to August.

Then after the wedding you are ready to try.

I caught the first go but I have had 2 previous MC (from accidents) . My first trimester was abit of a breeze symptom wise (never sick) but I had lots of bleeds that were a worry and I was super anxious the whole time.
Some women are extremely sick - there's no way of knowing this unfortunately beforehand.

It's really not that long away at all x

kimchio · 18/12/2023 20:16

How about trying the month of your wedding so you wouldn't know on your wedding day?

Ems1992 · 18/12/2023 20:17

Honestly if you are wanting a baby I would try and not worry about the wedding. What will be will be. I planned to be pregnant at my wedding, wedding been and gone and no baby! Even didn’t have a night do as I planned to be pregnant but life doesn’t work that way… We are now 10 months into trying and there’s no baby. I would go for it asap…

HippeePrincess · 18/12/2023 20:30

I wouldn’t try, you won’t know if you’ll be sick ( not limited to mornings and first tri!), have awful headaches, like you say may miscarry, have other complications, I put the most weight on (water and also bump) in the first tri even with my first, saying you won’t show til later is not a given.
You could come off contraception and get to know your cycle, get healthy and take prenatals as sometimes it can take a while to regulate. Equally at 35 I got pregnant two weeks after I came off my hormonal contraception (thought that would never happen) we had planned to wait a few months.

Strawberrylacess · 18/12/2023 20:58

hmm hard one.

It took me over a year to conceive, then i had a miscarriage, then another 4 months for my daughter. So all in over 2 years to take home my baby.

Will you be okay at your wedding if it is taking longer than expected?

My second child was very early, so even if you fall pregnant at a time where you would only be however far along, you really don't know what could happen.

This isn't common but it happens - hard to work around that if you do have a complicated pregnancy/premature birth.

Appreciate my story is quite negative but it's good to look at it from different angles.

I guess my point being with pregnancy and conception you can't really guarantee anything.

On balance, you have time.

I'd probably wait.

Outliers · 18/12/2023 23:52

There's nothing to suggest you and your partner would struggle to conceive, so I'd wait till after the wedding and enjoy yourself until then.

Plenty years of pain and tears to enjoy after the kids arrive.

Daisies12 · 19/12/2023 11:31

At 28 I'd wait and start trying in August. Why not have coil removed in spring, and use condoms until August, to give your cycles time to return? And kindly, do not expect anything or make any plans when it comes to TTC.

MargotBamborough · 19/12/2023 11:33

If you are only 28 without any known fertility issues I would concentrate on saving hard for the next 8 months and then TTC after your wedding.

My advice would be different if you were ten years older but honestly, at your age waiting until the summer won't make any difference.

gotomomo · 19/12/2023 14:33

I would get off hormonal or long term contraception, start taking vitamins and get yourself healthy then stop using any contraception on your wedding night. You are young, no known issues, so I would e joy your last few months before worrying about children

Lulucaz2 · 19/12/2023 15:50

I am in the same position as you! Wedding in Aug and desperate for a baby. I had the mirena IUD, and read that it can take 6-12 cycles for your hormones to settle back to a normal level so I’ve had mine taken mine out and have been tracking ovulation. Not officially trying yet but I know I’m ovulating every month so that’s a relief! If it happens it happens and if not I’ll be a bit more serious with trying come august

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 19/12/2023 16:11

Is the wedding all paid for? You could try for next couple of months and move the wedding if you conveive. The dress is the least of your worries - sickness and fatigue are the main ones that might ruin the day (also you might want champagne!)