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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

TTC - how often should you have sex?

13 replies

dehydratedandcarbohydrated · 31/08/2023 02:05

My partner and I have been unsuccessfully ttc for the past 9 months. I am wondering if we don't actually have enough sex 😬

I always track ovulation and whilst ttc we tend to have sex about 5 times during my fertile window. Once that window is over we stop and wait until the next cycle after my period.

Should we really be having sex every other day throughout my whole cycle (not period) instead of only during my 'fertile window'?

Help 😬

OP posts:

MachinesOfGod · 31/08/2023 02:19

I think they say to do it every other day. Why do you stop having sex after your fertile window? I don't think that bit is in the TTC rules, it might not get you pregnant, but it is still enjoyable (I'd assume!).

HopeAndChocolate · 31/08/2023 07:08

Would recommend looking into SMEP - it ensures there is always sperm around ready for when the egg is released. My husband and I followed this plan for our first month trying and got a BFP on Monday. 🥰

Perfect28 · 31/08/2023 07:14

The advice is to just have regular sex, so I would say every other day all month. Why are you stopping at other times? This can put so much pressure on those few times and make sex just about conception which of course it isn't.

Dandelion7 · 31/08/2023 07:37

Tmi alert- cant believe im writing this!! I've had 3 children and pregnant quickly each time despite being over 35 for all and over 40 for last. I've never tracked ovulation like people here as I think it takes away the fun. I think you need to relax. So every 2-3 days sex (except on period). And mix it up, hot sex, positions, emotional, slow/ relaxing, different rooms, i've probably given him oral on most fertile days as we tend to get carried away etc. But I don't think about it too much. My husband is super hot. Plus, I know this sounds odd but my husband has always given me clitoral orgasms before we start penetrative sex. I've always got pregnant 1st/2nd month and I'm sure that orgasm helps. Husband even bought a rampant rabbit when we started ttc the last. Ha ha! We certainly have had some extra fun.

morag1234 · 31/08/2023 12:18

I think they say every other day around ovulation.

Mushroo · 31/08/2023 12:21

We loosely did SMEP, so we DTD 3 days before ovulation, then the day before, day of, and day after.

Original poster

dehydratedandcarbohydrated · 31/08/2023 12:29

We've been following sperm meets egg for a while but nothings happening ☹️ so trying every other day for the whole cycle now instead.

We do have sex not just to ttc but I suffer with vaginismus so find it very, very difficult.

OP posts:

PetitPorpoise · 31/08/2023 12:32

We did once a day as I approached ovulation and then when I got a positive ovulation stick we did morning and night for three days, then back to once a day for a couple of days to make sure. We always conceived first go and I've been pregnant four times

curliegirlie · 31/08/2023 13:14

Part of it is down to luck. We tend to have sex throughout my cycle (and I try to ensure we have at least O, O-1, and/or O-2 covered, so we've had at least 2 or 3 decent shots in my fertile period most cycles) and yet here I sill am on cycle bloody 18 or 19....

FoodFann · 31/08/2023 13:39

Hi @dehydratedandcarbohydrated Technically there’s no extra benefit to having sex outside of the fertile window. For you, if it isn’t enjoyable, and could be causing stress/physical harm, you may be doing more bad than good by upping your activity levels. If I were you, I would go to the GP and explain the difficulty in intercourse due to vaginismus and ask for assisted fertility treatment. Maybe also say you’ve been trying for 12+months.

We conceived DC1 on the fourth month of trying, having sex only twice the whole month. We’ve been TTC DC2 for 9 months now, no luck. We are also the types to not cope with too much sex, so we tend to track the best most fertile days.

Best of luck to you

Original poster

dehydratedandcarbohydrated · 31/08/2023 13:46

@curliegirlie

It's shit isn't it :(

OP posts:

SarahShorty · 31/08/2023 14:51

As much as you can manage in the fertile window, generally. Throughout the month is also fine and is recommended by most doctors. As long as you get the ovulation day, either before it, during or soon after it, you're in with a chance.

Yolo23 · 31/08/2023 21:23

@curliegirlie i feeeeeel you!!! I track using flo and use digital ovulation tests… the only time we had a BFP was when we DTD with confirmed ovulation test and on the day and day before and 3 days before… we just can’t get lucky again 🤣 although it did end in chemical that time sadly. Fingers crossed for you all! ✨

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