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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Ttc with older DH - anyone in the same boat!?

15 replies

Elz1406 · 19/04/2023 06:14

I am 31 and my DH is nearly 43. We've been looking at things he can do to help his fertility and came across some very scary stats about the chances of conceiving for men over 40. A few articles said that if it happens at all it takes an average of 2 years for men over 40 regardless of female partner age! Even my very chilled out DH is feeling alarmed. He's incredibly fit and healthy (far more energetic than me!!) never smoked, non coffee drinker so we never really worried so much until now. We were aware of the age thing but not mega concerned. Does anyone have any experience or wisdom please? Would be great to talk to anyone else in the same boat!

OP posts:
Original poster
Elz1406 · 19/04/2023 06:16

P.s. we are only using starting ttc for our 1st so v early days!

OP posts:
firstbabyworries · 19/04/2023 06:31

Hi @Elz1406
There is 16 years difference between myself and DH. We were ttc for about 5 years with no success. We were crazy about it but I was aware when the most fertile windows were etc
No joy. Then lockdown came and I was furloughed. Stopped even thinking about it and just drank gin and had a laugh with my DH. We then had a little boy.
I honestly didn't think we'd ever have kids but I hugely believe even without realising it I put a lot of stress on myself. Lockdown and gin=no stress and boom😂

Good luck 🤞

firstbabyworries · 19/04/2023 06:31

That was meant to say weren't crazy!

Dreamstosell · 19/04/2023 06:38

My uncle was 10 years older than my aunt. They had their first child when he was 42 and she was 32 - got pregnant first month of ttc. And went on to have 8 children!

Original poster
Elz1406 · 19/04/2023 06:59

Friend of mine had a similar situation - then she and her hub got covid and were holed up with nothing but booze and dtd for entertainment - they got pregnant after a year of trying!😂

OP posts:
Peapodburgundybouquet · 19/04/2023 07:05

My older-than-me husband, similar age to yours, conceived in one go each time. Stats aren’t always useful or relevant in a case-by-case basis. You’ve just got to see what happens.

NoodleQueen90 · 19/04/2023 07:22

I'm 32 and DP just turned 52...I'm 6 weeks today after 3 cycles ttc.
The chance of an early miscarriage is slightly higher as well so I'm trying not to get ahead of myself but it happened sooner than we thought.
Try not to stress and just see what happens for a few months. Usually people are advised to wait until a year of nothing happening before approaching gp...we had already decided if there was nothing after 6 months, we'd go and get some tests done privately. Thankfully they weren't needed.
Best of luck and baby dust to you both 😊

CuriousMoe · 19/04/2023 07:40

I am 31 and DH is 41 so not dissimilar from your age gap OP. We had the same concerns as you, so in order to not put pressure on we decided just to start 'not not-TTC' after our postponed COVID wedding in October last year. We are expecting at the end of July 😀. We were a bit worried, about it but turned out we had nothing to worry about. Neither of us were particularly careful health-wise, I am a reasonably regular gym goer but DH would prefer to be in the pub at the weekend watching the sport, than at the gym and was a 'social smoker' before we found out we were pregnant. DH is still friends with a lot of his school friends who also conceived quite quickly over 40. I am sure there is some correlation with age but I wouldn't stress about it too much until it becomes a concern. Wishing you both all the best and have fun 😄x

TheBeesKnee · 19/04/2023 07:44

ZMA and CoQ10 supplements every night to help with sperm quality!

vicaragechristmas · 19/04/2023 12:04

My DH was much older than yours when we started TTC DC1 and it took 6 months to conceive, so totally normal. We actually got pregnant the first month of trying but I had a MC. DC is now 3!

HavinKittens · 19/04/2023 12:10

I was in my early 30s and my DH early 40s when he conceived our first. It only took one cycle. This time around, we are a couple years older, and we caught again on first cycle although it resulted in an early miscarriage. I wouldn't get too hung up on statistics and work on the things you can control e.g. having sex regularly and optimizing your health where you can.

HavinKittens · 19/04/2023 12:10

When WE* conceived our first. Ha! 😳

Winterisalmostover · 19/04/2023 12:48

I was 35 and ex was 42. Never even tried! DD was a big surprise.

Original poster
Elz1406 · 19/04/2023 19:56

Thanks everyone, this is all really reassuring. It definitely is easy to get lost in the stats and feel hopeless! Thanks for the good wishes!

OP posts:
evalsaro · 19/04/2023 20:00

I got knocked up first time trying with my then 46 year old DH 🤷🏽‍♀️

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