So unsure of what's going on

[Polkadotfloral]

My DH and I are in our first cycle TTC #1. I came off the pill in December 2022 and had my usual withdrawal bleed from 24/12 to 28/12 and we tried to dtd every other day from then onwards. I started using the Clue app to track my cycle but I think I may have ovulated around CD20 or CD21 as I had some EWCM on both of these dates, and we dtd on both of these dates.

Last night (CD30) I started experiencing some brown spotting which I thought was AF, so I used a tampon. When I came to change the tampon there was hardly anything on it so I put a pantyliner in my knickers for the night. When I woke up there was nothing on it, but after going to the toilet, I noticed some pinkish red when I wiped. I used a tampon again this morning, but when I went to change it, there was also hardly anything on it again. I took a FRER this morning and it was a BFN.

As I only came off the pill in December, I don't know what my 'normal' cycle length is and I feel so frustrated not having frame of reference in terms of what is usual for me.

I've been experiencing what I think may be early pregnancy symptoms (sore/tingly breasts, tiredness and some really vivid dreams), but I'm worried that these are all in my head now that I've started having this spotting and a BFN. I just wish that if it's not going to happen this month that AF would turn up!

Has anyone had a similar experience, and did AF arrive or did you get a BFP later down the line? It's so hard when you come off the pill and have no idea what your 'normal' is! Plus none of my friends as TTC so I feel really alone in this.

Thanks in advance for reading!

I'm afraid coming off the pill (or any contraception) is a case of being unsure what is going on for a while! I've been in the same boat, came off my pill in October and only now feel like I know what's really going on!

My cycles have been all over the place at 27, 38 and 35 days so far and only now feel like my body is starting to settle. The first two cycles we still used protection so I could see what my body was doing. Super helpful in the first cycle too as I knew I wouldn't be pregnant so just waited for my AF. I know some people want to get on with it straight away like you have and that's ok too. It's just a waiting game I'm afraid. Do you have any cheapy strip tests? My plan is always now to just take one of those every 2-3 days if AF hasn't shown as expected until she arrives (and not waste FRER's!)

I know it's so stressful not knowing what's going on though, I totally felt that and was almost wishing time away so I could get some cycles behind me!

Also in terms of symptoms, I personally feel like during the whole of coming off contraception/TTC in general I've had vivid dreams, think it's just the stress and hyperawareness of it all 😂

Thank you so much for your reply! It's nice to know that I'm not the only one unsure of my cycles.

I think I'm going to wait it out and see what happens with the spotting. If AF doesn't arrive by the weekend I'll test again as I think I'll go mad if I start testing all the time!

I would also recommend using Ovulation prediction kits - if even to understand when you ovulate. When I came off pill and was TTC our first, I had no idea when I normally would ovulate - turns out it was day 21 which I never would have guessed if I didn't use the test kits. I fell pregnant the first cycle when using them.

Granted you think you know based on symptoms and you absolutely might be right - but I wanted to know for sure.

Second pregnancy I fell pregnant second cycle. First cycle we DTD the day of Ovulation which didn't work, and second cycle we DTD the day before and day of peak and it worked.

Thanks for this - are there any brands you recommend?

I used clearblue digital. But they are not cheap!! But if you have the intention of using them for one or two cycles while you learn how to track Ovulation (as a newbie I had no idea how to use the cheaper ones, but clearblue literally spell it out for you with smiley faces). My plan was to use clearblue to get a decent understanding of my cycles then move on to cheaper brands, but I never needed to. I'm sure there are many ladies on MN who can advise you on cheaper brands though!

I had spotting mid-cycle after coming off the pill both times. It settled down after a couple of months. I agree with others saying to track ovulation using ovulation tests. I use cheap ones on Amazon and have been able to pinpoint ovulation most months. I also chart temperatures but wouldn't recommend you do that yet.

On the other hand bleeding mid cycle can be implantation bleeding and indicate a pregnancy. But I read that implantation bleeding is quite rare (I didn't have it when I got pregnant with my daughter).

Thank you @pebbles3004 and @vitahelp! AF showed up this morning which has made me pretty sad but relieved in a way as I now know what's going on.

I'll look at getting some OPKs for next month and fingers crossed I'll be lucky. It's just hard - my sister fell immediately both times and this has made me feel like a failure/like there's something 'wrong' with me. I know rationally none of this is true and most people aren't so lucky to fall pregnant in their first month TTC but it's so hard when you want it so badly!

I'm going to try my best to stay positive for next month. xx

I know it's hard. But you never know, these OPKs might tell you something you didn't know and you might realise you were TTC at the wrong time. I defo would have been if I wasn't using the OPKs as day 20-21 is much later than other people (e.g. Google says to DTD day 10-14!!)

Stay positive and try not to compare to other people. I don't have an issue falling pregnant, but I have a different issue where we have a 50/50 chance we'll lose them in second trimester (due to a condition my husband carries). So when I'm feeling down about it I get jealous of people who when they fall pregnant and have nothing else to worry about - but I know that's not productive or healthy, so I try to stay positive and focus on myself.

Good luck next month, sending baby dust 💓

@Polkadotfloral I'm sorry to hear about AF. Yes the OPKs will give you a bit more control of the situation and help with understanding your cycle.

Try not to be hard on yourself, as you say it is early days and your cycles are still settling after stopping the pill. I really hope it happens for you soon xxx

Thank you @pebbles3004 and @vitahelp , you've made me feel less alone in this!

Wishing you both the best of luck in your journeys! ❤xx

Okay so what I thought was AF this morning has now tapered out to be quite a small amount of bleeding (similar to yesterday but more red in colour (yesterday's bleeding was darker)).

I'm just confused and can't tell whether this is AF (albeit very light) or spotting. Before I went on the pill (10 years ago), my periods were quite heavy so I'm not sure if this is normal.

I know it can take time for periods to fully reestablish into their usual pattern after coming off the pill but now I'm getting myself worried that my periods are too light and I'll have trouble TTC. 😔

Hi!
Just thought I'd pop on to second the cheapie OPK strips on Amazon to give you a better understanding of your ovulation.

Also, just some support with TTC and coming off contraception. It's likely your periods are a bit off kilter and might be for a couple of months. Use the strips to give yourself some understanding of your cycle and be patient with yourself. It's so hard. Also remember, if you think you ovulated that late in your cycle it might not be showing up on a test yet.

I use easy@home ovulation tests x