Anyone else trying to get pregnant and want to talk about it?

[WideWebWitch]

I thought I'd start this thread as monkey and I have been talking about getting pregnant on another thread. Is it just the 2 of us? Anyway, this might be a good place to talk about it before (and if) we can add to the expecting in 2003 thread

My ds is just 5 so if I do get pregnant soon-ish he will be 6 when any half sibling is born (separated from his father). I feel ambivalent about being pregnant again, as I've said elsewhere. Some days I feel excited at the prospect, some days I think Oh No, no sleep, ever again...Anyway, I thought we could all (or both if it's just the 2 of us!) chat about ttc, pregnancy tests and feelings here. For me I have to say that starting trying was strange (sorry if this is too much info) as it's the first time I've ever had sex whilst deliberately trying to get pregnant, as ds was a happy mistake. Very odd...

threeangles - Where's the other thread - I'd love to join in.

Hi Wills - Its under pregnancy. "Choosing the sex of your baby". I didnt add anything since its so long ago. I just wanted to read it before I started the same exact info. To be truthful the original post on the thread is actually the opposite of how the method does work. I guess there was some confusion when the poster started the topic. Its actually for a boy closer to ovulation is better and for a girl farther is most sucessful.

Three angles - thanks - rather than place my question here I'll have a look and put it on there.

You are welcome.

Good luck with your mission dot 1!

www, good luck with yours, too. I hope you get what you really want out of this. I hope your partner really and truly knows what he's letting himself in for by wanting a baby - but then he knew your ds as a toddler, I assume, so he's got a pretty good idea. I have to say that having two with a big gap in between has at times put a strain on our relationship - time, money, lack of freedom, nothing huge, but it's there. I think that's because both of us are more your older children type of parents. We know of one child parents who can do so much more since their child is past 5 years old.When we had our second son, we both felt thrown back into the deep end of sleepless nights and nappies etc, and because we can't get babysitting for the youngest easily, we haven't had a weekend alone together for 9 years!!

However, we both love our youngest son to bits, he is a joy (most of the time), his older brother loves him so much and both dh and I get tons of pleasure seeing them play togther. We both grew up as only children, so seeing sibling interaction is a novelty. In all, despite my words of caution, I feel so lucky I gave myself the chance to have him.

I'm convinced it's not happening this month since I am big time pre-menstrual and stroppy today.

Tigermoth, stop, you're scaring me! Dp did know ds at about 2 so has a rough idea. Plus I've gone on and on and on about what hell it will be for the first few years and about how much effort I expect from him. We've talked about it a lot and I think our relationship is strong enough to survive it. He's just seen this and said "we will be OK, don't get stressed about it..." But only time and my future postings will tell!

WWW I'm sure you'll be fine as you are so aware of the problems - in my experience it's the people who go into it with rosy eyed vision who imagine that dh/dp will actually do 50% without being asked ( Ok so some do -but it's not something to rely on!) and that it will all be lovely and cuddly and fun. You're well awre that it won't be and have talked it thru with dp so that he is - and as long as you keep talking and keep ''the end'' in sight you'll be fine.
MY dh didn't want children and just agreed to have one as I wanted one - so I found the early months very hard as I was determind to protect him from the worst of it - and in actual fact it ahs ended up being much LESS stressful than I imagined for the relationship a) because I expected the worst so was prepared mentally and b) becasue dh very quicky came to dote on dd and could not be more besotted with her now.

Bayleaf - ds definitely feels like mine! (some people even say he's got my eyes...!). The only bit I feel I've missed out on is the being pregnant/giving birth bit (although I know some people might say I'm quite lucky there).

Apparently there's about a 30%higher chance of having a boy the way we're going about it (i.e. trying as near to ovulation as possible) as boy sperm swim faster and are more likely to reach the egg first. Girl sperm are slower, but last longer, so girls are more likely if you try a bit before ovulation apparently.

Should get my blood tests back by Monday. Bit worried as I looked at one of the thyroid disorder + pregnancy websites yesterday and my last blood results (done in September) were really bad and I don't think there's any way I can get pregnant until it's more under control...

By the way, I'd love a mucuus chat! I get v. confused about what it means when it changes (i.e. does it mean ovulation has occured, or is about to occur?!)

Close your eyes wills - mucus. I read on the web sites I was talking about before about conception, all about mucus. No mucus at all means little chance of getting pg. Creamy yellowish crumbly means you're warming up, but still unlikely to get pg. What you look for is 'egg white'. so if your mucus becomes watery & runny it means you're getting ready to ovulate, (so you might as well have a go, as sperm can hang about for a few days) and if you have stretchy elastic whitish egg white - grab dh/dp/jump in your car & head up north. Apparently.

You can open your eyes now wills, & 3 angels, this site has a boy/girl sex programme for you to follow:- www.babymed.com/tools/fertility/calendar/main.asp

I really have to moan now about my limbo please. It's really getting to me today. I'm having a really bad day & have been shouting non-stop at ds's - I guess I've been so tired and lethargic (& on mumsnet) the last couple of weeks, the house is really starting to slip. It's a mess everywhere, & I just cracked & went mad about it. No help from boys, not surprisingly I suppose, so I just lost it. Plus, dh has been working late every night recently, so I'm having to do all the childcare without any help. Sometimes they're still awake when he gets in so he'll pop in to give them a kiss, but I'm feeling really put upon by him, once I've finished getting them into bed I can't be bothered to do any housework, and it's all deteriorated....

So on top of that I've had cramps the last couple of days, so I thought period was going to start, but still nothing. No cramps today, no period. Breasts seem to be leaking a tiny bit several times a day. Did another test. Negative again. If my period does start I'll feel so disappointed, but logically I know I can't be pg becasue the testsssss say so. I'm getting really fed up about IT and everything.
If I hadn't missed a period I would be due this time next weekish, so if period doesn't start by the end of the weekend I will do one more test & if it's negative again I'll contact my doctor. I just reackon if I 'phone him now he'll just tell me to wait till next weekend anyway.

Monkey ARRRRGGG - really though that was quite enlightening! - I knew that the presence of it meant ovulation but I'd never though further than that!

I'm soooo with you on the frustrating etc. I know that I can't be - I've been so stressed recently that it will be a miracle if it happened however I'm considering every single body reaction/function as being significant. For instance I too am getting sore boobs, I've lost my ability to be ordered in life (like not double booking myself) and suddenly I have a desire to drink hot chocolate (I don't normally like chocolate that much). The last time I double booked myself and ate chocolate was when I was last pregnant. I'm probably blowing all these things way out of proportion but I can't seem to stop my braining thinking about it....

I agree that the doctors will say wait but I'm not sure I'd have the strength to do so and would have bought a test already - well done for persavering this long (can't spell sorry).

Monkey - I can't imagine how frustrated you're feeling. The last time I tried, my period was 8 days late and it was torture - even though the tests were negative, there was still some bit of me hoping they were wrong....

Another mucus question! If you're getting the changes you've described - the stretchy elastic white stuff - does that mean you're definitely ovulating? Or can that happen without ovulation??! (we really need an on-site Dr.!).

Or...can you ovulate without the white elasticky stuff?

I've afraid I've been on the wavering side about having #2. We would like a sister/brother for DS but we're only now fully reconciled to the change in our lifestyle since DS was born 14 months ago - 2 children seems so much more difficult (threeangles, I'm humbled by you trying for #4!). Anyway, over the past few months I've been on and off the pill as DH & I try to make up our minds when to try - I'm off the pill again now and pretty much leaving it to fate. Pathetic, I know. Good luck to everyone ttc.

Azure - Not Pathetic! not at all. Probably the best way because if you're that content to what will be will be then hopefully you wont be waiting until the end of the month with baited breaths and then feeling a great sense of disappointment.

well wills and dot 1, as far as I know, white sretchy mucus = ovulation. I don't think you can have this unless you are, but dunno about the other way round iykwim.
Isn't the internet great? Until a couple of weeks ago I had no idea about mucus and now I'm an expert! Not really. Plus I am so shy I couldn't even say 'mucus' to my husband never mind chatting about it with anybody!

I hope I don't get done for copyrite - got this from the following site, hth

www.babymed.com/docs/english/179.asp

Q: I heard that the cervical mucus changes during my cycle and it may indicate when I am fertile. How does that work?
A: The cervical mucus is produced by the cervix and changes consistency throughout your menstrual cycle based on hormones associated with ovulation.
Shortly after the menstrual period ends, the cervical mucus is dry and prevents sperm from penetrating the cervix. About a week before ovulation under the influence of estrogen, cervical mucus becomes abundant, sticky and thick.
Cervical mucus throughout the menstrual cycle based on 28-Day Cycle:

Cycle Day 1-5: Menses
Cycle 6-9: Dry; little or no mucus
Cycle Day 10-12 (OD-4): Sticky thick mucus, becoming less thick and whiter
Cycle Day 13-15 (OD-1): (most fertile time) Egg-white or "spinnbarkeit" mucus: thin, elastic, slippery; stretchy, clear
Cycle Day 16-21 (OD+2): Sticky thick mucus
Cycle Day 22-28: Dry mucus

There are no significant changes in the cervical mucus which can tell you before a missed period reliably enough whether you are pregnant or not.

Just read more - the stretchy mucus doesn't mean ovulation definitely is taking pace/will take place, just as the absence doesn't mean you're definitely not ovulating. It's a strong indicator but not 100%. Same I suppose that it's v. unlikely you'll get pg if you have sex while having a period, but again, that's not 100% either

Dot you need to have a look on www.tcoyf.com ( Wills stay away!) if you really want the 'indepth' on mucus and temperatures and indications as to whether you are ovulating. As far as I know the egg white mucus is not 100% proof that you are ovulating properly - if it combines with an 'appropiate' temperature chart ( ie low until ov - rising just after ov and then staying high until just before your period) then the chances are higher - combined with a 21 days test then you would know pretty conclusively!
Musica - not sure if yu can - but it becomes elastic to allow sperm to swim in it easily so even if you do ov - if there's no elasticky mucus your little wrigglers don't stand much chance.
This is all explained in far more depth on tcoyf tho so Have a look - or if you're feeling flush go onto amazon and buy the book 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility ' by Toni Weschler ( read the rave reviews there!) it also gives loads of ideas on herbs etc which may ( or maynot!) improve fertility and suggests ( for example) that drinking grapefruit juice near to ov will help as this increases the amount of mucus produced by your body. There are a few other sites which I've got book marked - I'll, sort them out and may even try a live link later!

WWW (or anyone else with a partner different from child's father)- can I just ask, how long into your new relationship did you broach the subject that you might, one day, like another child? How did you do it without panicking new partner and prevent him from thinking that that was one of the reasons you were with him? Can I ask what the age gap is between you? (I know I'm being cheeky but I know you're a similar age to me so...) Thanks

web page with details regarding possibly useful supplements
Wow - have just trialed the above and it seemed to work - now I'm on a roll.....

and another one
It doesn't seem to want to accept more than one link in a post so I'm trying separate ones ( voyage of experience or what!)

Here is Marilyn Glanvilles site \linkwww.marilynglenville.com/supplements/fertility_plus_women_men.htm/here{}

Bum

That'll serve me right for starting to feel smug...
I'm taking the Zita West here vitamins - tho' not sure they're worth it as they cost an arm and a leg!
Naturally I'm not a very good advert for all of this as I'm still not pregnant!

Marilyn Glenville again(???!).... here

Finally it migth be worth considering Foresight - I've not had their test as I dye my hair and am far to vain to stop doing so just so that they can tell me to eat less chocolate and more cabbage!