Anyone else trying to get pregnant and want to talk about it?

[WideWebWitch]

I thought I'd start this thread as monkey and I have been talking about getting pregnant on another thread. Is it just the 2 of us? Anyway, this might be a good place to talk about it before (and if) we can add to the expecting in 2003 thread

My ds is just 5 so if I do get pregnant soon-ish he will be 6 when any half sibling is born (separated from his father). I feel ambivalent about being pregnant again, as I've said elsewhere. Some days I feel excited at the prospect, some days I think Oh No, no sleep, ever again...Anyway, I thought we could all (or both if it's just the 2 of us!) chat about ttc, pregnancy tests and feelings here. For me I have to say that starting trying was strange (sorry if this is too much info) as it's the first time I've ever had sex whilst deliberately trying to get pregnant, as ds was a happy mistake. Very odd...

Thanks for the info jane101! I was totally naive in assuming I'd get pg straight away (I more or less did with dd). I still hoping that I might this month (trying to stay optimistic) - good luck everyone

I'm coming at this from a different angle, and this message is for any who are wavering about being pregnant again. The more committed of you, please ignore the following:

I felt daunted by the idea of a second baby, but knew I would always regret it if I didn't try for one. Dh agreed. So we decideed to give ourselves six months for me to get pregnant - I was 41. If nothing happened, I would feel that was fate, OK, that was it, but I'd given things a go. As it happened, I got pregnant at the end of my six months time limit. So I can't really comment on how I would have felt if there had been no baby. However, just before I found out, I was already reconciling myself to being a mother of one child only. Giving myself and fate six months really helped.

Well it wasn't just the 3 of us then! Monkey, sorry I haven't helped with trying to curb your mumsnet addiction sprout and everyone else who doesn't usually post, welcome. Will post more later no time now...

Hi elliott - I've got the persona booklet in front of me & it says that when the 'O' symbol appears it means ovulation should take place within the next 1 - 2 days. Hth. Persona worked perfectly for me too - at first as a contraceptive, and then as an aid to conception - looking out for my 'red' days & the 'O'.

Btw,, there are loads of sites out there about trying to conceive, including ones which give ovulation calendars - obviously not reliable if you're irregular & not as good as ovulation prediction kits. There's also so much info on helping you meaximise your chances - I have to say that until I started trying again I knew so little about it, it's worth reading around.

Another thing, Gillw on another thread gave a link to a site that sold pregnancy tests & ovulation predictors really cheaply - can't do the link myself but, www.pregnancy.fsworld.co.uk/

I ordered them - they came really quickly. I got the most sensitive pregnancy tests - apparently 10 IUL (or whatever it is). The guy I spoke to was really helpful & when I asked the sensitivity of Clear Blue, he said the company refused to divulge this info but in the US they are 25 (or was it 20) IUL, so these are a lot better - it means you can test 3 days earlier than with Clear Blue. Personally, I don't trust these people if they can't be honest & give the imp. info.

For all those who've suffered miscarriages & those waiting such a long time to conceive under difficult circumstances, my heart really goes out to you & I'll be saying a few prayers.

3 angels - glad to see you on here. Enjoy the rest of your week!

The O symbol means that ovulation is expected in the next 24 to 48 hours from what I remember.
The 21 day test measures progesterone which rises if you have ovulated - comes down if you are then not pregnant - (as does your temperature so if you are charting you will have warning of not beiNG pregnant pre period by descending temperatures in the morning.) ON the 21 day test the result will be a number. Less than 20 you are not ovulating - 20-30 is equivocal ( ie dodgy but you might be) - 30+ and you probably are - but the surest way to tell is by scan pre ov to check for follicles before ( tho follicles don't always produce eggs so that by itself is not conclusive)and the 21 day after - the combination of the two gives the surest result.
Dot - how stressful! I used to moan when dp had a job which mean he was often abroad but I really hadn't consided the added problems you might have!
Jan - wow, how awful you can have my 'crown' as claimed earlier - tho as you say it's more of a losers crown and who would ever want it? We are definitely going to have to do something to improve our sex life after all this is over ( in whatever way it ends)- the early days of tryign might well improve it but the later (years later!) stages do nothing at all for it!

Thanks Monkey I will. If I dont tire out first.

Can someone explain how an underactive thyroid gland affects fertility? I've got one and wasn't aware it might make things more difficult for me.

should that be effects? I'm such a crap speller.

It's how it 'affects' definitely, willow2. Although you could suffer from the effects.

Hope that wasn't my comment earlier that worried you, willow2. If it was, maybe I can put your mind at rest. My thyroid was over-active and the over-activeness, plus the effects of the medication are known to cause infertility.

If it wasn't me, sorry for going on.
Don't know anything about underactive thyroids, sorry, but this site might help
thyroid.about.com/blpregnancy.htm

Wow I missed this thread yesterday and look at the number of us trying to fall pregnant - brilliant. Well I too have been trying but only for a very small 2 weeks now. I've been extremely stressed out for the entire time so I suspect I'll be v. disappointed at the end of the month. Last time I fell pregnant on the first attempt but unfortunately lost it at 8 weeks. That was 10 months ago and dh and I think its about time we 'tried' again. The funny aspect to this is that my husband will currently give in to all requests and provide all whims. I've probably been extremely niaive (hope I spelt that correctly) but was that all I needed to do to get my way over everything + I've had a bouquet of flowers two weeks running. (He didn't even buy me flowers with dd was born! - said he'd already given me what I'd wanted!)

Tigermoth, I feel comforted by your reference to fate etc. Although I'm not much of a fatalist I do find the thought of fate reassuring at times. The difference for me, I suppose, is that I am with a new partner and he really wants a child. Like sobernow's dp, he is 10 years younger than me (young sperm is good, right?! - listen to me, from apologising for too much information to talking about my partner's sperm age!) and maybe doesn't feel the urgency as much as I do. I would like another baby, with him, too, although on the one hand I don't have that urgency as I already have one and on the other, I do as I've just turned 36. (I know, many others are older or were older when they got pregnant, which is also reassuring)

I'm such an impatient person that I want it to happen NOW! but I'm aware that I was much younger last time, I'm with a different partner etc and that it might well not be the case. I just hope that it is going to be, and that if it is that all goes OK and I can cope...

The dash up the M6 sounds like added stress dot1... threeangels, so you finally did decide to go for it after your month of not being sure!

Willow2, yes an underactive thyroid (which I've got) can also cause fertility problems, but my Dr says it's just a case of getting the right dose of medication (L-thyroxin usually) to replace what your thyroid gland is not producing. It's important that you keep checking thyroxin levels once you get pregnant (via a standard blood test), as you need to have enough for both you and the foetus, and not enough could mean the baby doesn't develop properly. But don't let this worry you. I think it is just undiagnosed or untreated underactive thyroids that cause the problems, so if you're seeing a Dr about this you should be fine.

I'm really impatient too! It's terriblee isn't it?

I really don't want to upset anyone, but I was wondering if maybe this isn't 2 threads? What do people think. To be frank, I feel really petty going on about my frustrations of no period, no positive test, just a no-news limbo, compared with some truly horrific experience some women here are going through. Honestly, I feel humbled and petty moaning about my problems compared with 'real' problems some of you've got. otoh I don't have any one else really to talk to about this - my best friend has been trying for years without success, my mum ...erm no, dh hasn't even noticed I've not had a period...

What do you think, would it be more sensitive for me & amybe others who are just trying to scuttle off so's not to annoy & frustrate (if they're the right words) those of you who are having problems, or does every one feel ok to discuss the problems, big & small?

Still no period, but last night I did have tummy cramps. Any ideas?

Monkey - I agree with you too but I think people might have difficulty defining which thread to go on. The extreme's - like my case of having hardly started and others of trying for years should be fairly simple to distinguish but once you go between that .... If people would prefer two different threads then maybe we should use the national average of a year. Hope I'm not offending anyone with this - alternatively if no one minds lets just continue....

WWW - I love your frankness (don't stop) - on occasions you've had me roaring out load. The only problem I have is that I've started connecting to this site whilst at work and my deputy is currently in a state of shock (a man) having stood over me for a while before I realised he was there. Besides - where else could we ask/discuss these subjects.

I just like having a thread I can relate to. It's weird having a baby, but not having had a baby (if you see what I mean). And even though I've only been trying for 8 months, I've wanted a baby for eons, and probably most of us have felt like this? It can be heartbreaking/frustrating how ever many times you've tried if you really want to get pregnant...

Re: dashing up the M6 for sperm - I've often wondered what I'd say if I got caught for speeding - "sorry officer, there's sperm in Manchester that can't wait!"

Dot1 - good luck! - I really hope it works for you.

I love reading this thread as I can't really talk about this to anyone bar dh

Not sure if this is 2 different threads is it? I know some of us have just started trying and others have been trying a while but isn't it the trying to get pregnant that unites us? If people want another though, I'm ok with that. I know what you mean Monkey, my just having started trying seems very trivial compared with other stories here.

Also Monkey, I can't think that you can possibly NOT be pregnant, 2.5 weeks late, all the symptoms, must be very annoying. I'm going to buy some of those cheap tests too, good link so thanks whoever provided it.

Wills, glad I make you laugh, I am now (as of today) a WAHM so I am logging on when I should be working too but no boss to stand over me. Dot1, maybe the police would let you off for a very novel excuse?!

thanks monkey and sobernow for the persona tips - I've never used it but it sounds like it detects the LH surge (12-36 hrs before ovulation) like ovulation predictor kits.

Re: is this 2 threads. Possibly, but I don't think you can divide it on the basis of time trying to conceive. IME accepting that you have fertility problems is a long process. For me, I started worrying after about 4 months and started investigations after about 9 months, but it was about 2 years before it really dawned on me that it probably wasn't goign to happen naturally. NOw, I am definitly in a different place to those of you who can reasonably expect to determine how many children you have and approximately how far apart they should be.
I don't think anyone should be inhibited about discussing 'little' problems, but I think possibly if others have worries or queries about how long its taking them to get pregnant, maybe another thread could be started. I'm sure there are lots of mumsnetters like me who've been there and can provide info/advice.

HTH

thanks bayleaf too

I know this was brought up in a past thread but I wanted to bring it up again if I can.

My dh and I are trying for #4 and I have a regular cycle each month. Im estimating ovulation on nov10th. We just started this week to cover all basis.

My question is have any of you went on the method of trying for a girl or boy? I know if you want to be pregnant you should have intercourse around 3-4 days before ovulation because of how long sperm can live and up to one day after ovulation. I also know that they say if you want a girl try and have intercourse in the earlier part of your fertile days and for a boy closer to ovulation or even on the day.

I would love to have a girl so its 2 and 2. My dd is driving me nuts too. Anyone had any good results with this method. Thanks

Finally found the thread about this topic. No need to reply unless anyone feels like it.

I don't think there's any real need for 2 threads as we all already have a child ( dot I realise your ds sort of isn't yours but I'm sure he must feel pretty much like it) - I think the frustration would be between those who are moaning about having to wait 3 months AND already have a child and those who have been trying for years and have none. However frustrating it is wanting another it doesn't begin to compare with the anguish and heartache when I was trying for dd and took so long to get there.

WWW - just wait till we get on to types on mucus! THAT'S when we really get to the 'too much information' stage on a ttc thread!'

ps babystart.co.uk sell cheap preditor kits as well

Bayleaf - NOOOOOOO don't start mucus pleeeease!