TTC with phimosis and very low libido

[peppermintbiscuits07]

Hi all, my first time posting and the world of fertility and TTC is completely new to me so I'm learning acronyms etc.

My husband (36) and I (32) have been TTC since I had my contraceptive implant removed March 2021. He has very tight foreskin (we think phimosis but he has never seen anybody about it) which means he finds it impossible to ejaculate from penetration, so he either finishes by hand and then ejaculates inside me at the last second (!) or we use a cup and syringe.

His sex drive is also really low so we struggle to get more than 3 attempts in each cycle, sometimes only one, and I am really struggling with thinking we are never going to conceive. He has said before that he "just doesn't really feel anything" from sex in general and he rarely initiates it.

Obviously this is a big issue in our relationship, and in truth it's been a concern for me since we met, but our relationship is so amazing in every other way that I have just accepted that unfortunately we aren't a "swinging from the chandeliers" couple! We have had some very deep conversations about all of this and he is already worried that he's letting me down so I don't want to upset him even more.

We have discussed circumcision and he says he is willing to get it done, but he's concerned that his weight will cause problems with it, he's a big guy at 20+ stone and 6 foot 3. He is convinced that he has seen an episode of embarrassing bodies where a guy was circumcised and the remaining skin was too tight when he lost weight (or something along those lines! I can't find any evidence of this so I'm not sure)

I am struggling with the disappointment of AF arriving every month without fail, so I think we need to consider speaking to our GP about everything and see what they recommend. We moved house recently so have just registered with our local GP and I'll try to make an appointment as soon as I can.

I guess I'm looking to hear from others if you've had similar experiences, what you did to overcome them, and any advice you may have for us?

Thank you

Poor guy, he needs to see his doctor, a phimosis can cause damage and its a simple procedure.

@KittenCatcher

Poor guy, he needs to see his doctor, a phimosis can cause damage and its a simple procedure.

Yes completely agree, I think he's been so convinced that it's major surgery that he's terrified of it. Hopefully we will be able to get an appointment soon

Sorry to hear this. I put on some weight some years ago and it led to a major loss in libido. A determined effort to lose it made all the difference (but easier said than done). I was circumcised at birth; my fiancée greatly prefers it and I am happy without it too. I have two friends who were were circumcised as adults (one of whom had Phimosis); both were very nervous before but actually found the whole procedure remarkably easy and much less difficult than they were expecting (although the recovery period of 4-6 weeks was a bit tedious). Several years on, guys are very pleased with the results and so are their wives. All the best to you and your husband.

My husband used to have this problem and it was solved before we TTC because it loosened up a bit on its own, but I did look into this. There are things they can do for a tight foreskin that don't involve full circumcision. There's stretching exercises or they can make a small cut that loosens the foreskin without removing it, so the two of you should look into that and ask your GP about options. Best of luck x