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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

How to accept.

32 replies

Basicbitching · 25/03/2021 13:12

I'm on month 9 of trying...evry single month I'm sure it will be THE month, every single time I'm trying to symptom spot and I have the achy boobs very early on which I don't when we're not trying..then inevitably I get the heaviness in my uterus that means my period is on its way in a couple of days 😔. I always have hope but nothing happens.
How can i just accept that I'm not going to have another.
As not to drip feed or be insensitive, I already have 2 both of whom were conceived in the first month. Im also 36 so I'm not young anymore although we both eat clean and are fit and well.
I'm happy with my 2 and i know I'm lucky I have them..but I think its more the feeling that I may be too old to have anymore that's bothering me the most rather not the never having a third child iygwim.

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AliBear90 · 25/03/2021 14:09

Have you spoken to your gp? If you’re over 35 they will do fertility checks after 6 months of trying

Frankie2015 · 25/03/2021 14:27

I'm in exactly the same position. I have 2 children already and have been trying for a 3rd for some time now also mid 30s. First 2 pregnant within a month. It's hard to explain the need for another baby I feel like I am craving my third so much and all I've ever wanted is a large family but feel so guilty that I already have 2 and should be happy (obviously I love them to bits) but just feel so unfulfilled. Its basically all I think about and think it's going to happen ever month and symptoms spot like crazy and always convince myself! I've had a few chemical pregnancy which has been horrible.

My cycle is all over the place and irregular so just had a hormonal blood test. I would definitely recommend calling your GP. I was surprised that they were willing to help.

Original poster
Basicbitching · 25/03/2021 14:37

I didn't think the gp would do anything if I've already got 2 dc?

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Frankie2015 · 25/03/2021 14:39

I don't whether it's because of the irregular cycles that she was more keen to help but all she ask me about me other 2 was how old were they and when did I stop breast feeding my youngest so see if that would have any affect. Worth a try though! X

Original poster
Basicbitching · 25/03/2021 14:41

@Frankie2015 I will give them a call in that case.i honestly thought they'd only help if I had no dc.
My cycles are very very regular. I tell myself each month that I shouldn't worry and just accept it won't happen but that little bit of hope won't go away. It's harder isn't it when previous dc were conceived so quickly, so you kind of have that confidence in the beginning that it'll happen then it doesn't and its so disappointing. I love my 2 to bits too but due to other reasons we haven't been able to try until 9 months ago.

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FayLivvie · 25/03/2021 14:58

Have you used anything like concieve plus fertility lubricant? I have heard lots of good things about that giving you a helping hand. It is so much harder getting pregnancy than you think. I also have two but would love a third. I never tracked ovulation before and now I am it's very frustrating when you get a negative!

Original poster
Basicbitching · 25/03/2021 15:26

I've been tracking ovulation but not used the lubricant. I'll give it a go. I'm 2 days away from my period being due but i can tell it'll come as u have the same symptoms every month since it began.

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FayLivvie · 25/03/2021 15:38

@Basicbitching

I've been tracking ovulation but not used the lubricant. I'll give it a go. I'm 2 days away from my period being due but i can tell it'll come as u have the same symptoms every month since it began.
Do give it a go next if your period comes. It seems pricey but I have read many great reviews. I am going to try it next month if I'm out. Best of luck x
Original poster
Basicbitching · 25/03/2021 16:14

Thank you, you too.

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WhiteVixen · 25/03/2021 22:23

My first was conceived within a month or two, ten years ago. My second took three years. She is now 17 months old, and I turn 40 next week. So you are definitely not too old.

Lilice · 25/03/2021 23:45

@Basicbitching I conceived my third at 36, it took me about 6 months but I wasn't tried properly at the beginning. I conceived my first two very easily (first cycle, without any tracking of any sort) and thought it would be the same with my third. After two months of ttc with my third, I started tracking with the flo app and using ovulation sticks. The month I conceived, I took different vitamins ( vitamin b complex, evening primrose and other stuff I cant remember off the top of my head) and I really think these helped. Also, you can still ask your gp to run tests even tough you already have 2 DC. I had the day 21 testing done ( I was panicking for nothing, thinking I was too old to conceive because it was taking longer than I expected). If you've been trying for longer than 6 months and you're over 35, you can ask your gp to run some tests.

Original poster
Basicbitching · 26/03/2021 07:42

Thanks you guys. I think I'm panicking as I'm already going to have a big gap between this potential one and the youngest.
I am taking evening primrose and I always take supplements as it is. I will get onto my GPS ASAP. I wish I'd known sooner that they'd help. I just assumed that they wouldn't.

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WhiteVixen · 26/03/2021 09:59

@Basicbitching what sort of gap? I've got 7 years, 9 months between my two girls and actually it's worked out really well so far.

Lilice · 26/03/2021 19:07

@Basicbitching look into ubiquinol, that's the other vitamin I took when I conceived. . And don't give up, 36 is still very young. Ask the gp to do your day 3 and 21 tests. It will happen, and don't worry about the gap. It's nice when the older kids can help out.

FayLivvie · 26/03/2021 19:22

I have read that Coq10 tablets are excellent for egg quality as well as DHA which is an omega fatty acid which apparently prolongs reproductive functions at an advanced age... not that you're old at all.

If AF comes this month I will be buying those which are available on Amazon. X

Original poster
Basicbitching · 26/03/2021 19:57

It would be a 7 year gap between youngest and New baby.
I will check those supplements out thank you so much.

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Original poster
Basicbitching · 27/03/2021 09:23

Just to update I've been getting bad period pains, I'm due on tomorrow. I did a pregnancy test and there's a faint line! I still feel like my periods coming though Confused the pains and then the feeling of it down below..sorry tmi. But I keep going to check because it feels like there's something coming out but there's nothing. But this is how I feel every month until I start. I'm usually right on time so I guess we shall see tomorrow. I just keep thinking the test is a false positive Shock

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FayLivvie · 27/03/2021 09:26

@Basicbitching

Just to update I've been getting bad period pains, I'm due on tomorrow. I did a pregnancy test and there's a faint line! I still feel like my periods coming though Confused the pains and then the feeling of it down below..sorry tmi. But I keep going to check because it feels like there's something coming out but there's nothing. But this is how I feel every month until I start. I'm usually right on time so I guess we shall see tomorrow. I just keep thinking the test is a false positive Shock
Get another test! X
Original poster
Basicbitching · 27/03/2021 09:50

This is the test from this morning. Its not as faint as it shows in the picture.I dont think I can leave the house today to get one and I've got my dc with me too. The period pains are intense right now Sad

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Original poster
Basicbitching · 27/03/2021 10:49

The test I used is 20miu so its not meant to be used until after I've missed my period. Even more reason I'm thinking it's a false positive.

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WhiteVixen · 27/03/2021 12:00

That's not even a faint line. And with pregnancy tests, a false positive is incredibly, incredibly rare. The test is checking for hcg in your body. Your body only makes hcg when you're pregnant.

You can get the cramping feeling like when your period is coming at this stage, it's very common.

Best of luck, but I'm going with congratulations!

GameOfGroans · 27/03/2021 12:07

That looks positive to me too. Keeping everything crossed for you 🤞🏻

BeesAnkles · 27/03/2021 12:14

That's not faint! Congratulations OP!

Original poster
Basicbitching · 27/03/2021 16:46

I really hope so. Thank you all. I haven't told my dp because I don't want him to be disappointed in case I come on because I still really feel like I will. I will get a clear blue test tomorrow just to double check.

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WhiteVixen · 27/03/2021 17:26

I'd get a First Response test, not a Clearblue. Pink dye ones are more reliable.