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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

5 days late and all tests have been BFNs. Driving myself potty.

33 replies

dragonrabbit · 27/01/2021 02:04

I'm going slightly mad.

Posting here in the dead of night might help my whirring mind. There's only so many times I can talk to my husband about this.

Since coming off the pill last year and getting back into the swing of things, I've never been a day late, until now.

I've had the odd cramp over the past week, nothing like my usual pre menstrual cramps though. Sore(ish) boobs. Fatigue. Twice in the last 3 days I've wiped and had a miniscule amount of brownish spotting.
Had some discharge too. Keep feeling wet and thinking its AF but it isn't. I've come down with a head cold and just feeling rubbish.

Held off doing a test yesterday because I'm so sick of seeing a BFN.

Worried there's something wrong because I'm 39...and you know... Menopause and all that.

Getting to the point where I don't care if I'm pregnant or not. I just want to know!!

Anyone else?

OP posts:
explain · 27/01/2021 06:07

Very annoying I know. Were you able to confirm ovulation? Maybe you ovulated but later in your cycle than you thought

LemonDrizzles · 27/01/2021 06:19

I was 38, and a lot of negative tests but I was pregnant so it can happen. I've also had negative tests in the past where I was sure I was, but it was negative and I wasn't...I'm here for a virtual hand hold, OP. It's tough.

Original poster
dragonrabbit · 27/01/2021 07:59

Hi both

Thanks for talking to me. I eventually got back to sleep after an agonising few hours with my mind whirring.

I did a test this morning... Another BFN. It was on a cheap test... I got 2 for £1. Should I be spending on more expensive ones or does it make a difference?

No sign of AF either.

Both your stories give me some hope so thank you for sharing.

Honestly this is torturous. I hate not knowing. I think I feel pregnant, which is even worse because I know I'll be pretty crushed if / when I get AF. I'm alll too aware that pg symptoms and AF symptoms are one and the same...ugh!!!

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Original poster
dragonrabbit · 27/01/2021 08:01

Explain... I didn't do ovulation strips last month. I did them the previous 2 months, and I was generally around the time when the app predicted... I dunno.

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2021ComeAtMe · 27/01/2021 08:08

@explain

Very annoying I know. Were you able to confirm ovulation? Maybe you ovulated but later in your cycle than you thought
This was my first thought too!

Sometimes Mother Nature likes to kindly throw a random cycle in Hmm so I'm also wondering if you ovulated later this month. I'd test again on Thursday I think.

Cheap tests should be fine.

Original poster
dragonrabbit · 27/01/2021 08:13

Just had a slight tinge of red when I wiped. Does the brighter blood mean AF?

God I hate this. Its driving me mad. I really hope its a late ovulation and not my body getting old. If its not pregnancy, then what!?

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Original poster
dragonrabbit · 27/01/2021 08:52

and just now an intense wave of nausea but unable to vomit.

I think my mind is convincing my body that I'm pregnant

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anothermonthbitesthedust · 27/01/2021 08:59

It's so hard that the symptoms of early pregnancy and pre period are the same. Apparently it's to do with both causing an increase in progesterone

Original poster
dragonrabbit · 27/01/2021 09:09

I know, it's like our bodies are playing tricks on us. Not fair stamps foot

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anothermonthbitesthedust · 27/01/2021 09:14

I think the first response tests are the best at detecting low levels of HCG. So those are the ones

anothermonthbitesthedust · 27/01/2021 09:15

Also wanted to add I got pregnant with my first aged 39. And had a healthy baby boy just before I turned 40

anothermonthbitesthedust · 27/01/2021 09:17

Also, if it hasn't worked this month I'd recommend a female fertility MOT if you can get one.
I'm planning on getting one again if/when AF makes an appearance on Saturday. F&@&&n B@tch

Original poster
dragonrabbit · 27/01/2021 09:35

my husband just went to the chemist to get the first response ones so i will try later.

enough...F&@&&n B@tch indeed!

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Original poster
dragonrabbit · 27/01/2021 09:57

@anothermonthbitesthedust - so you are ttc too? Will you wait until Saturday / Sunday to test? Good luck x

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anothermonthbitesthedust · 27/01/2021 10:03

Yes I'm ttc too, had a mmc in July and been ttc since. haven't been successful yet

I tested today and tbh I'm think there's the faintest of lines on it. But my husband doesn't. But he's not the best before midday.
I'm just waiting for an opportunity to go out and buy some FIrst response tests. But waiting on some builders to fix stuff. They're so annoying don't they know I'm desperate to pee on ANOTHER stick!

Original poster
dragonrabbit · 27/01/2021 10:08

So sorry to hear about MMC, another Flowers I really hope this is your month. Keep us posted.

We've been trying since April last year...this is the first month I've had a semblance of hope.

These builders...don't they know ANYTHING??

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truetuesdays · 27/01/2021 10:12

I wouldn't waste your money on first response to be honest they are so bad for indent lines

I get the bulk packs from Amazon of the cheap strips instead.

anothermonthbitesthedust · 27/01/2021 10:13

@dragonrabbit if this month isn't for you I'd definitely recommend the MOT, it really helped me to calm the mind monkeys.
The test was able to tell me I had a decent ovarian reserve and my pipes were clear.
It also showed I had a few uterine follicles and a endometrial polyp. I was lucky enough to have the polyp removed at the end of June 2018 and was knocked up by July 2018. Not saying it's the same for everyone. Or that it'll help. But it will give you a realistic picture of how far away menopause is likely to be.
I was convinced I had something wrong with me. So it was really reassuring to know I wasn't barren!
I'm planning on having another MOT if this month doesn't happen for me.

anothermonthbitesthedust · 27/01/2021 10:16

@truetuesdays

I wouldn't waste your money on first response to be honest they are so bad for indent lines

I get the bulk packs from Amazon of the cheap strips instead.

I did buy a multipack but they never worked for me. Or maybe I just wasn't pregnant Hmm
Original poster
dragonrabbit · 27/01/2021 11:07

Just did first response...BFN.

Had slight tinge on the paper when I wiped earlier. Bet AF is on her merry way.

You know, when we decided to ttc, we were so casual about it. What will be, will be. I said I didn't ever want to go down the route of fertility treatments or getting checked out etc, and that if it didn't happen for us, that was fine.

And it was...up until I was late this month. Now it kind of does matter.

I am so emotional right now. Confused, disappointed, up and down.

OP posts:
anothermonthbitesthedust · 27/01/2021 11:36

I'm so sorry.
I can only recommend some time on the sofa, with chocolate and tea. Take a few days to be sad. And maybe review your options.
39 is not old to be a mum. In my NCT group half were over 40 first time mums.

Original poster
dragonrabbit · 27/01/2021 11:53

thanks Another, you're so kind x

Dh made me some brunch and a cuppa. I had a little cry.

Went to the toilet and more brown discharge...what does it mean!? This is unusual for me...when I start my period usually, its just bright red and extremely heavy from the very start.

DH made me agree that no more testing for another day or two because its upsetting me too much

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truetuesdays · 27/01/2021 11:59

Sorry OP!!!! My AF can change from month to month, sometimes it starts bright red and others it take a bit longer. I think when TTC we are more hyper aware so look deeply into things thinking they aren't normal when usually we don't give it a second thought.

I'm 13dpo and BFN so that's me out for another month 😩😩😩 up to my bloody ears in people giving birth and pregnancy announcements I just want to shut myself off from the rest of the world.

Original poster
dragonrabbit · 27/01/2021 12:00

Thank you True

Sorry to hear you're out for another month too.

I just can't get over how bothered I am about this. I didn't know I wanted it so badly.

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Original poster
dragonrabbit · 27/01/2021 14:50

AF has arrived, bag and baggage. The utter, utter bastard.

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