preparing to TTC - what do you wish you had known?

[anibendod]

hi everyone,

DH and I are currently debating TTC from this Christmas onwards. What do you wish you had known before actively TTC? Is there anything we can/should do in this pre TTC phase?

I'm a teacher, so a Sep/Oct baby would be ideal from a mat leave perspective. I know there's no guarantee that we'd catch straight away, but if there are things I can do to maximise our chances, I'd be happy to do them.

I'm new to the forum and the sheer volume of old threads and acronyms is slightly overwhelming! Any advice you can offer or resources you can direct me towards would be gratefully received

Enjoy the trying :) we were very lucky and got pregnant within 6 weeks but I know it can take a lot longer for some. We used preseed and ovulation sticks just the cheapies. Good luck!

Prepare for sex to suddenly not be fun anymore, & become a chore you’re not looking forward to 😂

We were very lucky and caught first try both times (we lost the first one) I was taking folic acid, b6, iron, & bit D for 4 months leading up to trying. Then we used Clearblue advanced ovulation sticks so I knew exactly when I was ovulating, as regular apps were completely wrong.

Just keep in mind it can take up to a year for healthy couples to conceive.

Good luck, & try to have fun 😊

Be prepared for the fact that it could take a very long time... Or that it can happen immediately...

Once you start TTC you're on mother nature's clock. She does whatever she wants and you can only sit back and enjoy the ride.

I wish I'd known that however level headed and rational I thought I'd be knowing that it's totally normal to take a year to conceive, when it got to four months and I wasn't pregnant it was so so hard. The two week wait feels like a lifetime, and anxiety over whether you're having sex at the right time becomes huge. Definite passion killer' I hid it from my H as best o could so he didn't feel pressure/worry. When I was pregnant after the 8th month of trying, I felt relief as well as joy that ttc was over!

If you are on the pill come off it asap. I didnt know how long it would take my cycles to normalise in any way and only got 2 chances in 6 months to actually conceive.

Theres 2 ways to do it - the sex mad, no measurement way where you have sex every 2nd day when not on period, or the lower sex but measurement stress way where you use OPKs AND basal temp. Only works if you're a regular sleeper

Also start folic acid now - meant to be on it for a few months before conception

That it's unlikely to happen straight away and that you'll thinknits worked straight away 😂 as you'll "suddenly get all these symptoms" but it'll just be symptoms of pending af that you've never even noticed before. Trust me we've all been there lol.
Ttc is a journey, you need to just enjoy the process and not stress about the outcome, good luck!!!

Track your cervical mucous. It took me ages to get my head around it first time but with TTC my second it was a lot more obvious and the month I was paying really good attention and we scheduled sex a bit more it happened for us!

I'm also a teacher and we started in Nov and fell pregnant in March the first time (I think!) so don't lose heart if it does take a few months.

I tried not to talk to DH about ovulation sticks, cervical mucus and pregnancy/ period symptoms as this does not put him in the mood for sex .
I definitely echo a PP's comments about coming off the pill now, after I stopped taking cerazette it took 6 months before I had a period!

@ManxomeFoe I was Rigevidon and it took 141 days to get a period, and that was an innovulatory cycle! They definitely didnt warn me properly of this the 12 years I was on it

Are you coming off a contraceptive? What has been your method of not getting pregnant up to now?

There's nothing I wish I'd known as I did anyhow not drink coffee or much alcohol, and did lots of exercise.

I suppose I'd not labour the word 'trying' - for many people, conception happens v quickly. Just give your bodies their freedom and see what happens. Don't hold back. Look forward to what will most likely be a special time.

Yes, usually the biggest obstacle is getting your body back to its natural state after invasive medical or mechanical contraception.

After that hopefully all will be simple and quick.

What everyone else has said but also that ovulation sticks only tell you that your body is trying to ovulate, not that it has. If it fails the first time it'll try again later in the cycle so women can have multiple positive ovulation tests in a cycle - the only way to really confirm it through temperature tracking.

And be prepared that it could take a while and how heartbreaking that can be. I'm on cycle 11 now and wanted to avoid a July/Aug baby this time last year so started ttc a bit later 😂

Although I did know, I wish I had prepared myself more for how long it actually takes. It took me 14 cycles and those that few were horrendous. And how it utterly takes over your life. Prepare for sex to become something you dread because it gets so regimented.
If not already, come off the pill if you’re on that. Also start taking folic acid. Start monitoring your cm, (cervical mucus if you’re not familiar with all the acronyms) it really is the best way to know you’re fertile. Don’t get obsessed with testing every month, wait until your period is late before you test. Otherwise you’re just pissed off looking at another negative test.
Just don’t put too much pressure on yourselves and try to enjoy it. Sorry for making this sound so awful! Just don’t get into the mindset of thinking this is the fun boy because it certainly isn’t! But you never know, it could happen straight away for you x

Hopefullly you’ve already started folic acid?

*fun bit

Yy to symptom spotting. Everyone does it.

Make a note of your period dates if you've not before, and get familiar with the wondrous varieties of cervical mucus - often abbreviated to EWCM on here.

Less cheery, but needs saying - early miscarriage is very common, I think something like 1 in 5 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. No need to be fixated about it but be aware. I wasn't and a MC after a healthy, straightforward first pregnancy absolutely floored me.

I wish I'd known to come off the pill earlier! I'm 7 months off now and still struggling with my cycles (late ovulation and short luteal phase). I even asked at my pill check if I should come off in advance and was told no. Would have saved me a lot of stress if I had come off in advance x

It's a recent discovery for me, but I wish I knew that Thyroid conditions are relatively common and that they can have a big impact on pregnancy. I have subclinical hypothyroidism (only just found out), I had a number of complications in my pregnancy and they could potentially all have been caused by the hypothyroidism.

I would recommend anyone who's planning to TTC get their thyroid checked if they can. It costs about £45 to get it done privately and could end up being the best £45 you ever spent.

Other than that a big one for me was to be a healthy weight cause pregnancy is really physically taxing. And being overweight increases your risk of lots of things such as Gestational Diabetes.

And once you're pregnant, if you're struggling with morning sickness or severe nausea then speak to a GP as there are medications that can help.

And finally, if you plan to breastfeed then have support in place before you're due. You get a relatively small window of about a week or two to establish your supply so if you're struggling then the support often comes too late to make a proper difference.

wow thanks to everyone who has chipped in.

I've been off the pill for a few years, we just use condoms. My periods are mostly very regular. I'm glad I came off the pill when I did as it took my body longer than I would have anticipated to get back into a natural rhythm.

I have a few years worth of period tracking data in clue, but will go swot up on cervical mucus (there's a sentence I never thought I'd hear myself say!) I often get ovulation cramps so I'm guessing it would make sense to start tracking those too to help spot patterns.

I think the comments about shielding DH from the technical side of things are wise, as mine is a worry wort. I think it will probably be best if he feels like we are NTNP rather than stressing about it all.

Good point about the folic acid, will pick some up next time I shop.

I think the biggest thing for me as a type A, plan everything to the last detail type of gal is accepting that mother nature is in control of this one.

@Curiosity101 do you mind if I ask what your TSH was? Mine is 3.5 and as I understand that's not great for TTC or pregnancy. The GP told me my bloods came back normal, as technically 3.5 is in the normal range according to the NHS, so I haven't braved going back and brining it up yet as feel like I will be dismissed x

@MintGreenLife TSH 5.98. TPOAb was also pretty bad at 199. I'm just waiting on a Hasimotos diagnosis and treatment to be started. Everything I've read suggests TSH should be below 2.5 for TTC and pregnancy. I'd have a Google and see for yourself. I have lots of information and links if you'd like them. I think Mumsnet has a DM option? If it does I could message them over? Did you get any other thyroid results?

@Curiosity101 I've looked into it and that's the conclusion I've drawn too - under 2.5 for TTC and pregnancy. I just feel like as my TSH is technically in the normal range the GP won't do anything, but it's probably worth a try isn't it? Sorry to hear yours is on the high side, did you find you had any symptoms? That would be wonderful if you could! Above my message on the little blue band there should be a button that says 'message poster' to DM. Thanks so much x