Vaginismus? Anyone want to share there experiences? Please.

[ttcchapter1]

Have been reading recently that people have used EMLA numbing cream to achieve penetration the first few times before trying without it? Anyone experienced this?

I can use all three sizes of dilators from small to penile size but my entire body still clenches when it comes to partner trying. Achieved penetration once in December but not since then. I’m hoping if I use the EMLA cream it might get me over that fear as the vaginal muscles seem to have opened.. its just me now!

Hi, it was a long time ago and long before I was thinking of TTC, but I used to have pretty bad vaginismus that often prevented penetration. I'm afraid I don't really have much advice though as all I really did was keep trying and persevering and gradually it reduced a lot. These days penile penetration isn't necessarily smooth but isn't difficult or painful either and I enjoy sex. I cannot easily insert anything myself though - no fingers or tampons, etc. I don't think I could manage a dilator.

That's probably not much help to you though as I'm sure you've already tried "keep trying" Just want to say I totally understand how frustrating and upsetting this issue is and really hope you are able to find something to work for you.

From a TTC perspective, if you are keen for this to happen regardless of the vaginismus, you could look into self-insemination?

Wishing you all the best

@CoalCraft

Thank you so much! Yes we are self inseminting now, on Cycle 2 of trying, but still also tryna tackle the issues, it’s so crazy how some women manage dilators but not penetration and others manage penetration but not dilators. Gonna try the numbing cream and see what happens, it can do no harm I suppose!

Thank you for your kind words though ❤️ Wishing you all the best too.

Yeah it sounds like we're opposites in what our bodies will accept, funny how it works that way.

You're right, the numbing cream can't hurt. Hopefully it works for you and gradually you can wean off it x

I had it in my early 20s.. I managed the dialators and then got blind drunk and had great sex with my DP in all kinds of positions (fully consenting, I wanted the dutch courage!) and then after that first time, knowing that I COULD do it, after that I just took some deep breaths to relax my body before he put it in.. because I knew it'd be a bit tight at first but within seconds pleasurable. That's what got me through.
Now I don't even need to do the relaxing breaths. I've loved penetration since that first successful time!
But.. I still can't have fingers!? Even though they're smaller? I can't have examinations, smear test etc.. but I can have a dick 🤷🏻‍♀️

Good luck btw

@CookPassBabtridge your last sentence made me laugh! Thank you so much for sharing, this gives me so much hope.

Maybe Dutch courage is the way to go 😂

It’s such an isolating experience, its nice to be able to talk about it ❤️