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Conception

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Original poster

Help to work out who is the dad

54 replies

Marycal90 · 19/05/2018 09:27

Hey there
First time posting and a don’t know if this is the right place or the thread is still active but a have been hiding it since a found out a was pregnant and feel so ashamed but here he goes
I am 13 weeks pregnant tomorrow ( Sunday the 20th) and due on November 25th 2018 ... am useles with my period but have a rough idea when a conceived .. but am still confused so need some help.. a don’t know when my last period was but am guessing it was around feb ( anywhere from the 2nd to the 20th maybe ) :/ sorry a don’t know never kept track! A had sex with my current partner anywhere from the end of period in February up until the 5/6 of March and then we fell out and a stupidly went back to my childhood sweetheart and we had sex on the 7th of March and the 11th ,18th and 19th of March and that’s it ... not the nicest thing to do and a have regretted it everyday .. a want to get it right who the dad is before a come clean and be honest with everyone ! Please don’t judge me am heartbroken and have felt so down and a know it’s my fault .... so who is the dad ... the current partner or the ex ?a have done them conceive calculator but a don’t trust them and a.m. bed at math ! Sorry Thank you all so much for your help..

OP posts:
Celebelly · 19/05/2018 20:42

Why are there 'a's instead of 'i's in all your posts? Makes it really hard to read.

Anyway, unfortunately you're going to need a DNA test. No way to be sure either way without.

BrandNewHouse · 19/05/2018 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CatchingBabies · 19/05/2018 20:51

It’s far too close to tell, your due date can be a few days out either side, your ovulation can be a few days out either side. The fact that one was the 6th and one the 7th there is literally no way of knowing unless you DNA test baby, sorry that’s not what you want to hear but it’s best to be honest and DNA test than guess and be wrong later.

SoyDora · 19/05/2018 20:52

From those dates it’s impossible to tell. They’re just far too close.

CatchingBabies · 19/05/2018 20:53

In case the user name didn’t give away I’m a midwife by the way, I see A LOT that scan dates are not 100%, e.g IVF pregnancies where conception and implantation dates are known exactly and the scan puts them a few days ahead or behind.

5BlueHydrangea · 19/05/2018 21:03

The date you are given is only a guide. Something like 1% of babies are born on their due date. You are considered term 2 weeks either side of the date precisely because it is so hard to know when conception occurs.
DNA test required ..

Mrstobe90 · 20/05/2018 01:21

It's too close. You need to do a dna test.

Dietcokebreak1 · 20/05/2018 11:20

Can NIPT test paternity? They're expensive (about £450) but none invasive, just a blood test.

Kate123cl · 21/05/2018 09:05

I would probably say it's more likely to be your current partners going by your rough dates but it's almost impossible to know for certain

Original poster
Marycal90 · 21/05/2018 11:44

Hey thank you kate123cl... thank you for the reply ... a have thought that with the rough dates ... a have scan tomorrow so maybe that may shed some light on dates but am not hopeful ... thank you again

OP posts:
Kate123cl · 21/05/2018 11:48

@Marycal90 hopefully you'll get a clearer understanding of dates once you've had the scan. Good luck Smile

HollowTalk · 21/05/2018 11:52

Why do you say A instead of I?

UnicornsandRainbows1 · 21/05/2018 12:00

The problem is that that scan may not shed any light. You could have conceived with your ex and be put ahead a number of days (so it would point to the baby being your partner's). The only way to know is a DNA test sadly as it's just too close together as babies can seem to skip a few days in between scans

Original poster
Marycal90 · 21/05/2018 18:47

A really hope so kate123cl it would be a massive weight lifted if a could get some sort of answer from the scan thank you so much

OP posts:
Original poster
Marycal90 · 21/05/2018 18:49

Sorry to sound stupid but what do you mean by your reply ... about putting ahead a few days and it could be my current partners .. a.m. trying to understand this all and never been good at dates etc sorry and thank you for your reply

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 21/05/2018 18:51

It’s near impossible to identify the time of actual conception. Sperm contains fighters and can kill off other men’s sperm. Aging a pregnancy by size is very inaccurate.

Your dates are so close together the scan won’t give you anything like a definitive answer.

chavtasticfirebanger · 21/05/2018 18:54

I think OP not that you want to hear it, you will feel so much better if this is in the open. You really cannot let a man be at the birth of a baby if there is even a slight chance it isn't his, it isn't fair. At this stage there will be much less hurt.

jigglepiggle · 21/05/2018 19:29

Your scan is not going to tell you who the dad is, the dates are an estimate. I know the days I conceived both my sons but the scan dates were a few days out.

UnicornsandRainbows1 · 21/05/2018 21:46

@Marycal90 so someone could be 9 weeks to the day on one scan, have another exactly two weeks later and be measuring further ahead than being the 11 weeks they should have been.

I guess it's the same with IVF where they know all the dates but could be a few days behind where they should be

Original poster
Marycal90 · 22/05/2018 15:05

Had the scan today and am 13 weeks 2 days ... just an update .. thank you for your reply’s .. a know it doesn’t tell me who the dad is but may shed some light on dates a guess. Thank you again

OP posts:
jigglepiggle · 22/05/2018 19:01

Not really because it’s not 100% accurate. They are ESTIMATING these dates based on the size of the baby. Time to tell both the possible dads before you start to show. Good luck.

BertieBeats · 22/05/2018 19:08

@marycal When I was pregnant with my first I took one of those digital ones (that tell you how far along you are ) with me to the doctors. She said that they were very accurate as everyone's HCG levels increase the same until about 6-7 weeks.

totorosumbrella · 22/05/2018 20:02

But she's 13 weeks and the digital only go up to 6 weeks so it'll only tell her she's over 6 weeks.

SoyDora · 22/05/2018 20:07

A digital would be useless now as they only go up to 3+ weeks. Also they only date to the week and there were only 4 days between the OP having sex with both men.

BertieBeats · 22/05/2018 20:56

I know. OP said she took one when she first found out. Was just saying that the result is highly accurate if it was going to shed any light onto her situation. But as someone just mentioned ,there was into 4 days between the 2 guys so the point is invalid.