40+ ttc: the one where we all get knocked up!

[ababsurdum]

Shiny new thread. Here's the link to the previous one.

Hi All and thanks for the warm welcome! Yes I was pretty restless last night as excited to be starting this process finally, I am keeping a PMA that it will happen but am aware of age etc.. happy to hear all stories.

Could someone please tell me what DPO menas and FRER? Thanks!

Welcome Letsdothis41. DPO is days past ovulation and FRER is first response early results (home pregnancy test - hpt). Wishing you lots of luck.

Hey Kkmuppet, good to hear from you. Best of luck for this cycle, hopefully being more laid back will pay off for you.

Welcome Jibberoo and anyone else I've missed.

Thanks for the welcome ababsurdum and the decoding of the accronyms! Starting to pick them up

Feeling good as I have tomorrow off work (plus weekend) and although I have loads on its sooo much better than being at work

Thanks Ababsurdum! makes more sense now!

So I got a cheap cb fertility monitor on eBay. The refill sticks are dearer than the monitor was :( I'm hoping I can use it as evidence of trouble ovulating. Does anyone have one of these (old monitor not the fancy pants new one)?

Sorry no - was using the purple pack CB digital opks for a bit though which I think do a similar job?

Incy I bought one of these when I was ttc ds, I haven't bothered to dig it out this time round. It's no better than the digital opk's and in my opinion testing once daily over the critical time is not enough. The cbfm missed surges that were picked up later in the day with a different stick. Even this time round I've had a +ve in the evening that had gone by morning.

I'm 6dpo today, still spotting a bit when I wipe. AF is definitely dragging on a few days longer now. We're going to be away during ovulation this cycle, not sure if that's better or worse (with a toddler in tow!).

Now I am really confused, I had a 3 day bleed from day 18. AF would have been due yesterday, hasn't arrived, tested and BFN.

My last two AF were late by several days, should I count that 3 ish day bleed as day 1 and track from there? or should I consider that I am due around now still?

I had bloods done a few months ago and peak hormones were good but maybe this irregular bleed this month heralds onset of Pre Menopause symptoms?

I have an appointment with the fertility nurse next month to review new bloods that I had taken, the results of the internal scan but I haven't been able to get the tube scan/flush done as last cycle they were too busy.

furryminkymoo, I have no advice but I'm offering to be your confusion buddy The only thing I can suggest is maybe start doing OPKs just-in-case that weird bleed was AF. Better to assume and not miss your window. If AF makes an appearance anyway, you'll know either way.

Yesterday was CD24, 11dpo, and I had some pink spotting. Today its gone brown. Very light, only when I wipe, no pad required, very intermittent. No cramps. I'm normally a completely regular 27-28 day cycle gal, and when AF arrives she's normally full-on without so much as a knock at the door iykwim. The only other time in my life I had some pre-AF spotting was this April, the month after 2 back-to-back miscarriages. My doc said it was normal. I got preg the following month but it was a mmc. I've since had 2 totally normal cycles since the D&C, so my body has NO EXCUSE for this!

DH immediately consulted with Dr Google last night and got all excited, after EVERY post came up with implantation spotting. This despite the fact that I have ZERO preg symptoms and have tested BFN the last 2 days I have been pregnant 5 times, and with the exception of the ectopic, I've known by 7-8dpo that it's happened. My BFPs have ranged from 9-11dpo.

So I don't for one second think that this is an IB, just my stupid decrepit pile of crap of a body deciding to f* up just as we need it to be on-form for fertility treatment.

WHYYYYYYYYYY????!!!!!!

This whole ttc malarkey is doing my head in. I wish someone would just drop a baby off on the doorstep. I'm quite looking forward to handing it all over to a specialist soon.

I think that it's probably natural for periods to start to be more irregular in your 40's, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're not going to conceive. I do think that opk's are key though, they do help take the guesswork away.

MrFuzzyGreen don't worry too much about your own hormones being erratic for the IVF. The doctors will switch off your own hormones and control what your body is getting. You're still not out this cycle though so I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Incy I should have said that the cbfm is dual hormone so you do get that indication of oestrogen beginning to rise. You can get the dual hormone digital opk's now too though they may be more expensive than the cbfm sticks.

Good luck everyone!

Btw, I noticed last month that Boots have started selling their own version of the internet cheapy opk's and pg tests, I can't remember the price but maybe £5.99 a pack. Has anybody tried them? I'm tempted to get some today.

MrFuzzy that made me laugh! I feel the same. I am on CD22 and I am absolutely refusing to believe for one second that I could be up-duff. No real signs apart from a few twinges here and there but I know that my body is going to play a whole host of tricks on me over the next week to lead me to think that I just might be and then I won't. Still hurts when even a tiny glimmer of hope is crushed by AF arriving. Just wish there was some indication of something but there never is. Have booked an appointment with another fertility clinic for next Friday (AF due on Thursday) to make myself feel better. Guess we wil try another IUI, possilby with clomid.

Good luck all!

Good luck with the appointment Thomasina76. Cd22 is very early to count yourself out - keeping my fingers crossed for you

I'm pretty sure it's some kind of long slow preamble to AF, ababs. TMI alert - it's gaining in quantity, but still like pink or brown ewcm. I had similar back in April when the mc's screwed everything up. I'm guessing this is what typical pre-AF spotting is like, but having never really had any before, I'm not sure. Answers on a postcard! No amount of tmi is tm for me!

CD25 is crazy-early for me though. My shortest ever cycle has been 26 full days (so AF arrived on what would have been CD27). I know it's not out by a crazy amount, but when you've got a clockwork cycle, something like this rocks your world! I don't think it can be stress. Let's face it, the last 10 months couldn't have been any worse for me, but my cycle stayed solid and my fertility was still very high.

The boots tests still seem pretty dear to me. How many in a pack? Wilkos do both dip-stick OPKs & HPTs for just over a quid for 2. They're fine. I used them to monitor my hCG drop after the D&C. They were still testing positive long after my symptoms disappeared, so they must be pretty sensitive. Good luck with dtd with a toddler in tow. When Billy-Joe was with us we were basically celibate, and DH took lots of unusually long showers.....

I'd never spotted before AF either but did for several months post mc. Back to normal now though. Since I turned 40ish my periods have become more erratic, ranging from 24-31 days (usually 27) though I still seem to ovulate most months as far as I can tell. When I was younger I was always 28 days without fail.

I got some of the Boots tests, they were £4.99 for 5 so not super cheap but better than CB. I only have 4 left from last month so needed some more. A Wilcos has just opened here so I will stock up for next month should I need to.

£4.99 for 5 is pretty good, though. What sensitivity are they? The Wilko ones are 25.

Well, I was feeling utterly hopeless and depressed, but DH has cheered me up. He's good at 'polishing turds' as he calls it! He's worked out that an early AF this month gives us one more chance to conceive naturally before IVF, and he wants us to go for it. He's also suggested a Friday night takeaway, so I haven't got to burn anything tonight

I'm now 42 so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised when my body acts it's age.

Just a quick question, hopefully someone can shed some light! OPK's haven't arrived yet so going by what Ovia and Glow Apps tell me but was wondering once the tests come and I get a line saying I'm ovulating, how long after I get that line do I need to DTD! I feel silly not knowing anything at the grand age of 41!

MrFuzzyGreen there's always a silver lining! Your dh sounds excellent, as is mine 😊. I'll check on the sensitivity of the opk's.

Letsdothis41 ideally you need to be dtd before you get a positive. Once the hormone has metabolised into your urine the surge has already happened. I usually find that I ovulate the day I get a surge. Ideally you want sperm ready and waiting when the egg emerges.

I try to follow this as a guideline. It's pretty sound, I think, and it means I don't have to think too much about it. Obviously you may need to adjust for your cycle length.

These tests are 25mlU/ml too.

As a rule of thumb try to dtd when you get good ewcm (egg white cervical mucous) as it's this mucous that helps the sperm swim up to the egg and protects them.

Thanks Ababsurdum! I will follow that link, and keep an eye out for the EWCM! and now I understand what everyone means about the TWW, never gave it a second thought before and now its all cosuming!

This thread moves too fast for me to keep up. I got the monitor for £12 so not too bothered if it's crap. I can always sell it on. It's what the consultant gynae recommended and what the private hospital said they get their patients to use too, so worth getting in there before they send me away for 6 months to try it.

Lets I've read that you should dtd for 48 hrs (not entire 48hrs unless your oh is superman!) and preferably leading up to the positive too. With opks I get almost positives for a few days so it gives me a clue. Sometimes tho I get the almost positives and then it doesn't happen. This is why temping alongside is so useful. Like ababs tracking the cervical mucous has been most successful but I appear to have dried up. I was having confused cm that was kind of like ew but too thick & rubbery. I haven't had good ewcm since Dec when I got pregnant.

Incy Thanks, we are first cycle and DH did make the comment that he wasn't 20 anymore so couldn't perform everyday! we laughed and I did say well get yourself started and I'll jump on when you're nearly there!! I guess when you start planning you have to go for it!

I remember a few years back getting quite a lot of EWCM and didn't really know why and now I need and want it its not showing yet! but I suppose this is the first month 'm really looking for it! a friend of mine was just about to start IVF treatment at 40 after having 2 years of trying unsuccessfully, had a MC at 6 weeks and called me the other day to say that just as she was about to start IVF again she fell naturally and is now 14 weeks! I am so unbelievably happy for her so here's hoping!

Wow! It's been three weeks since I've checked in and so much seems to have changed! Lots of newbies, some name changes (like the new name mrfuzzy! ), a whole new thread (thanks ababs!) and a quick scan through this shiny new thread seems to hint at a couple of BFPs?!

I had a bit of a WTF cycle which ended in me being late and testing (had to send a hopeful DH out to get a test, after agonising weekend wondering) only to get a gutting BFN on cd 29, and AF on cd 30. I've had to back away from this a bit. We've got a whole bunch - what's the collective name for babies?! - of newborns in our families at the moment and I'm staring in the face of another unwelcome birthday. A year ago I was pregnant () and following the mc, it's been month after month of ttc with nothing. I've had two or three months in particular where I've been soooo hopeful and the signs seemed right, but still nothing.

It's exhausting!

I've seen that some of you mentioned old baby clothes stored in the attic or the spare room, and I have this too. It's a mixture of hope and heartache.

It's not quite that I'm giving up. But I'm run out of steam a bit and need to take some time when I'm not constantly thinking about it. It mightn't work, I might still find myself symptom checking or obsessing about supplements (well, I've a bit of a thing there, don't I?! ), but...

Anway, I just wanted to say that if I'm not on this thread for a while, I'm still thinking of you all and wishing you the best. I'll pop back soon I'm sure.

Hope Chewy is ok; she's not checked in for a while. Thinking of you, if you're lurking.

Hoping also to hear from Jass and progress of her pregancy and newest son. Would love also to hear from the other ladies who've left after BFPs.

And wishing best luck to ababs - do you remember at one stage last October when it seemed it was just the two of us here! Look at the thread now!

ababs Warning! I will never buy those tests again after I got a massive pink evap on two of them!
Also to those of you with irregular cycles I would temp if you aren't already. That's the only surefire way of knowing what's going on with your cycle as it proves ovulation. Opks indicate ovulation is probable and gives you the heads up for timing purposes but temp rise proves it so you really know what cd you are on at any given time. I used fertility friend app to track.