40+ ttc: the one where we all get knocked up!

[ababsurdum]

Shiny new thread. Here's the link to the previous one.

AF has arrived, loud & proud!

So, quick question. When counting luteal phase days, do you include days of light spotting? Or does the LP end when the spotting starts?

Ah no, sorry MrFuzzyGreen. This is a tough call and the same issue I had for a few months post mc. I called cd1 the day I saw proper red flow but then was ovulating early so I think I should have called it earlier. It did stop after a couple of cycles.

Hello Twinkly - sending the love :)

MrFuzzy - booooo to AF. I was told to count the first day of proper red blood flow as cd1. I can spot quite a bit leading up to that too so had to check. I've also started spotting for quite a few days after. I fully expect soon all I'll do is spot - all the time.

Twinkly I'm sorry about your wtf cycle and that you're surrounded by babies, that must be really tough. I hope taking a step back means you find your mojo again soon.

Yes, this time last year we were both pregnant - worried but hopeful. How quickly things change. October was a hard, crap month wasn't it? Come back and see us again soon, hopefully bringing news of a bfp, it's about bloody time

Thanks ladies. After the D&C I came on after 33 days, and the next cycle (last month) was a bog-standard 27. So I thought I'd got away with it and my body had bounced straight back.

This month, as well as the spotting & 25 day cycle, I've had a ton more symptoms. This morning we totally wasted a fiver on a FRER because my boobs felt like they were on FIRE! Ah well, this is either my body re-booting or just good old-fashioned pre-menopause

All the very best, Twinkly. Hope some r&r helps.

On to the next cycle. Fingers crossed for everyone

MrFuzzyGreen I'm sure it's just rebooting.

MrFuzzy I'm told I'm not PeriM but I have all those symptoms too. It's our minds & bodies taking the piss.

Thanks for that Incywincyspinster. That's reassuring. My mum went through menopause late (50's) so I'm hoping I'll be the same. So good of our bodies to screw with us as we watch our hopes & dreams disappear down the toilet!!!! Sigh... At least I don't feel like I've got a bra full of fire ants today!

Hello All

I'm on cycle day 21 here & starting with the usual pre-AF bad skin & bad hair. Boobs are a bit sore but this is something I've noticed every month since TTC ( never before). How're you all doing this weekend?

Managed to change my password so bloop returns. Sorry for confusion! Won't bother changing name again.

fuzzy my mum was late 50s and when she went thro it she was told it tends to be similar to your own mother. I can only hope so but to be honest if I can't ttc then the sooner it hits the better and I won't be wondering "could I be?" every month.

Hello greenglass I have cold number seventy billion gazillion of the new school term - how is your weekend?

Lovely weekend here, pity it's back to work and school tomorrow. Hope your cold is short lived (flowers]

actual

Sorry to hear about af fuzzy. She came here this morning too (loud and thoroughly unwanted!) so that's me out.
Have to say this is the 1st time I actually thought I might be pg - the end of hope that af bought is quite devastating isn't it? It's not bad enough that I feel shit physically I'm feeling quite crushed mentally. At least I can finally focus on work next week and then there is always the hope for next month.

Good luck everyone this cycle!

Aw, sorry Jibberoo It's hard, isn't it? Every month I promise myself that I won't get worked up, worrying won't change anything, looking for symptoms won't make them happen, etc etc. But it's just so damn important! How do we stop ourselves from caring so much?

We have our consultation for IVF booked for the end of the month, so I think this time I've been ok about the arrival of AF. Some months I've fallen into a dark pit because of it. I've actually found the months I've caught & miscarried easier to handle than the ones where my body hasn't even managed that. It should be my boys 2nd birthday next Saturday, and I hoped that a bfp might have softened how hard that will be, but in reality that's rubbish anyway.

I found a good article about progesterone called 'the phantom pregnancy'. I had a feeling that my prog levels were high this month, with my raging temperature & tiredness & burny boobs. It almost had me fooled! I'm going to read it in every tww to level myself and curb the insanity!

lifeabundant-blog.com/2013/11/18/progesterone-the-phantom-pregnancy/

Thanks for the article and advice fuzzy. Will give it a read. Dh and I had a chat about potentially looking into ivf though I'm hesitant as the cost is so high (we'd have to do it privately) and the success rate so low esp over 40. Feel like I need to try harder ttc naturally 1st. Have looked online for iui as well and found one product stork for home use. Has anyone tried this? Thought it might give and additional boost to our efforts.
What is the usual private cost of ivf and anyone doing it privately? How long do you usually wait to start treatment (patience is not my virtue and I think waiting too long might put me off).
Sending you big hugs for the anniversary of your son X

Hi jibberoo I looked into IVF recently cost varied widely from £4500 at one place to just under £3000 going private at NHS clinic. Lots of couples use serum in Greece whose prices seem hit E impressive. It's important to remember tho that these prices often don't include tests and additional medications.
Iui is quite a bit cheaper but with much lower sucess rates for older women, lots of clinics won't recommend it but I read on a different forum of a woman who had two successful iui pregnancies over 40 so it's not unheard of. Not sure I'd chance a diy kit - maybe just a turkey baster?

mrfuzzy that link was interesting but I'd have loved some of the science behind it. I've had loads of progesterone related symptoms on months I'm told I haven't ovulated so there must be more to it...

I got a clearly positive opk this morning. First time this year it's showed up on a stick, usually it's almost the same as the control line but not quite and today it was stronger. Fingers crossed.

Not sure about the science Bloopbleep. I think it's pretty anecdotal. For what it's worth, I don't usually get a blazing positive on cheap OPKs, usually dark but not as dark as the control. On 2 of those months I got pregnant. It's a lot to do with catching the surge, and I'm not dedicated enough to stay dehydrated & keep testing all day.

Jibberoo, there's a lot that can be done to improve the odds of IVF over 40, but they all come at a price. We are hopefully going for a multi cycle discount using Caremaps, which is where a computer takes time lapse images until the 5 day blastocyst stage to monitor for normal rates of division. That system jumps the success rate up for over 40s considerably. If we fail with 2 cycles of our own (if we have any!) we'll go to donor eggs. The rates for donor eggs are roughly 50/50 regardless of age.

It all depends how far you are prepared to go for another child. We'll do whatever it takes, but I know that people with living children feel differently.

Jibbero. Ivf varies but ballpark about £5/6k per cycle including drugs. Depending on your amount - think one of my cycles was £120 a day and needed 10days

Abroad is cheaper. Our 5th cycle using fet from our 3rd cycle brought success

Clinics will check your fsh level and if low they will advise not using own eggs and recommend donor eggs - not sure how you feel about that

U.K. Your child can seek the donor out at 18

Abroad it's all confidential

Serum is mentioned a lot at Athens or clinic at Prague

Happy to chat about ivf privately if you want to know more

Jibberoo I'm not sure about our cost as we haven't started yet. The basic multi-cycle (2) plan is £6,300, but that doesn't include drugs, scans, tests & consultation fees. I'm budgeting for 10K. One round of IVF with donor eggs is £5,500, no multi-cycle plan available. That's with Care in Manchester.

We referred ourselves online and got a call a couple of days later with a consultation date 6 weeks from the referral. At the open night we attended, the consultant said that IVF can start the following menstrual cycle, as long as the tests don't bring up any complications. So I suppose the total wait could be 2-3 months. The clinic we've chosen has no waiting time for donor eggs, which was one of the plus points.

Sorry AF got you MrFuzzy. Hope you will be extra nice to yourself for a few days then pick yourself up and have another go.

I am now CD25, AF due on Thursday. I am too scared to test as I can't face another bit fat BFN and staring at the strip for ages trying to see a non-existent line. Urggh. Even worse, my body is up to its usual tricks with sore boobs etc. A tiny part of me is hopeful but I know those hopes will be crushed on or before Thursday when AF is due.

Good luck all!

"big fat"

Bloop great that you got a clear positive on the opk. Fingers crossed for this month, you need to really go for it!

We, on the other hand, have not 'gone for it' yet as I keep falling asleep on the sofa and am too knackered when I go to bed - the joys of an early waking toddler. Need to crack on tonight. We are away at the moment.

Jiberoo I had my one round of IVF 3.5 years ago and I think it cost over £5k with tests, blastocyst transfer (as opposed to 2/3 days) etc. That included 10 days of stimulation drugs and I had the egg collection under general anaesthetic due to one ovary being tucked slightly behind my uterus. The consultant we saw initially (not the consultant we had for the IVF) did not recommend IUI etc. as he said success rates were not great and due to my age he recommended going straight to IVF. That was only one opinion though.

I have also seen those home insemination kits in Boots, I meant to mention it. Don't knock it, there was a graduate of this thread who conceived doing it herself. It took the pressure off her dh

Can I ask about ovulation? I had a particularly painful ovulation pain today. Thing is I was dry down there this morning when dtd but had plenty of cm for the 2-3 days beforehand. I got positive on opk yesterday. Could I maybe have ovulated yesterday and the pain came later after the event? My breasts were sore this morning and usually that happens after ovulation. If I didn't feel this horrible pain that I've had since 5pm I wouldn't have thought it hadn't already happened. I've never understood people who say they can't feel ov or that it only aches for a few minutes. If it's from my left side especially it's a 12 hour experience :(

No issues discovered by dr's on u/s or lap so just got an achey ovary.

I'm def no expert bloop but I read that the best time to dtd is when you have the cm as it helps sperm reach egg quicker. I think that's where I've been going wrong and dtd too late