ttc - does anyone else get fed up with needing to BD at times when you wouldn't normally being having sex?

[sleepyted]

I don't have a very high sex drive at the best of times, so find "needing" to BD in order to conceive gets me down sometimes. Anyone else feel like this?

ready i get that too...

i look at it though its not all gonna stay there is it..what goes up must come doan and all that...

its like putting water into a cup and tipping it all out again you still get the remainders of the water in the bottom of the cup but just not enough to fall out if that makes sense?!

Right... well I will go with you on that!! I secretly hope it's cos DH is producing so much!! And plenty still went through, but there's plenty left over

dp is an early riser (as in he always gets up early!! ) and always rolls over for a bit which is great im half asleep he does his thing and then i can roll over and go back to sleep for an hour or so giving the little o~ 0~ o~ chance to go for gold

yeah but dont forget they release millions of sperm at once so that little drip thats left is gonna contain thousands of the swimmers still!!

god i would so be if this convo was face to face

Giggle. Yes, there are plenty of things that I will freely type from the comfort of my own home, but if we were sat having a coffee, I might not be so blase!!

its shocking really...just before xmas i had 2 weeks off work and she asked what my plans were so i said well dp is off too so my plan is to make babies...

in another conversation i said to her that i was taking folic acid and using the saliva microscope and i had to try and explain to her about ovulation etc etc...she was totally oblivious to it all and just kind of gawped at me like i was some crazy wacko woman

so i made a mental note to myself "do not discuss ttc issues with friends as they just think you losing it"

thank god for mn!!

Giggle!!! That is key. Choose wisely who you share your TTC secrets with. here here. thank goodness for Mumsnet!!

im awful at even discussing it with dh the convo goes a bit like this
ME: bab, umm, can we, umm..
DH: umm, im a bit tired.
ME: umm, well its kind of umm you know
DH: what?
ME: that umm time
DH: we managed to get pg with noah without clock-watching
ME: (getting angry) it took 6 f**king years
DH: but it happened
ME: ffs dont you want a baby?
DH: yes but i also want sleep
ME: (slams door) well youll sleep better on the sofa.

try to make it spontaneous girls it makwes the process less monotonous - ds was conceived spontaneously when we had stopped trying

yeah i find crawling onto the sofa naked and just spreading them usually works

lissielou - ouch!! (hug)

Not all of this fluid contains sperm so holding your legs up in the air post intercourse is unnecessary. It at best probably makes a person feel like they're doing something with regards to ttc but it is really just another myth that's been banded about.

After the semen leaves the penis, the semen immediately coagulates into a thick gel like substance and then in 5 to 20 minutes liquifies again.

The journey of the sperm continues once the semen has been deposited inside the vagina.

Recently, researchers have learned that sperm maturation does not stop inside the man's body, but continues within the female reproductive tract in a process known as capacitation. Capacitation is a change that must occur if the sperm are to be able to penetrate the surface of the egg, called the zona pellucida.

It is believed that sperm are able to survive and function within the female reproductive tract for a little less than 48 hours. The female egg survives for about a day.

I read that sperm can live for up to 5 days?? Didn't I? or have i made that up... wouldn't surprise me. I do tend to read too much and not store it all properly!!

So... in essense Atilla, are you telling me, that just cos I tend to leak a lot of the fluid out, this is not something I should worry about and it won't affect my chances?????

lissielou,

That conversation you typed out is very sad indeed.

I hope you both find a solution; my counsel for what its worth is for both of you to take the pressure off and only make love when you both feel like it even though you may be thinking it is not "ovulation time". I think your consultant would be saying something along those lines as well if he/she knew of this current situation.

I wish you well with your appointment on the 1st February.

about leaking... how deep the man goes also makes a difference.

Ready

I would not worry unduly about leaking a lot of fluid post intercourse. I did ask my cons about this when I was actively ttc and he said that sperm will get to the cervix from where they won't escape.

Some more info for you:-
New sperm need about 75 days to develop and mature in the testicle before they are ready to begin their journey to the outside world. From the testicle they move through the epididymis, a duct next to the testicle in which the sperm undergo more changes. Next, the sperm procced through the vas deferens. Most of the sperm come to be stored at the end of the vas deferens, in a pocket known as the ampullory portion of the vas. Transport from the testicle to the ampullary portion of the vas takes about three weeks. Now the sperm are ready to be mixed with various fluids that make up the bulk of the ejaculate, or semen, that is expelled in the process known as ejaculation.

Ejaculation itself consisits of a sequence of events involving glandular secretions and muscular contractions that move the semen through the penis. As ejaculation begins a small amount of fluid is secreted by the Cowpers glands. This fluid is almost immediately joined by secretions added by the prostate gland, as well as by the fluid (including the sperm) that has collected in the ampullary portion of the vas. The last and laregest portion of the ejaculate is contributed by the seminal vesicles. The sperm themselves make up only a small portion of the semen.

i have read that too ready on several web pages and it also states that sperm can survive in fertile cervial fluid for up to 5 days in toni weschlers book

it matters how deep? really? am I a complete biology ninkompoop???

i will be a bit graphic now... when my husband comes 'shallow', perhaps because we are on our sides or just because he doenst want to go too deeply, i leak straight away.

when we are ttc, he makes sure to poke his thing all the way up right at the moment whe he comes. and i rarely leak when he does that.

however, leaking a bit is not a problem for conception.

thanks jabuti!! I had not even factored that... it makes sense. Apologies for you having to be graphic. But mucho appreciato!!

all your sperm info is very detailed attila, you sound like you are quoting from one of my physiology text books.

Hehe londonlottie, the babygrow is for my benefit, i then have to (try) and turn sexy for DP, lol.

Greedy, i read about the leg lifting on many wesbites but i've heard you only need to do it for 10mins, thats all i can cope with!

Ready, i've read the 5 days thing too but doc said its max of 72hrs really.

Well tbh, i was thinkin the other day about making a thread about leaking. I seem to leak pretty instantly after the "situation", lol. I've find using my pelvic floor exercises helps suck it up so to speak, lol.