Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)
- Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
- Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
- Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
- Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
- Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.
JSing lingo
~~~~~~~~~
ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'
Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!
Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.
Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).
POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?
ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.
JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.
Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.
Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!
Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.
Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!
Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP
SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP
TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!
Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'
Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!
Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid
Cat - Compulsory
Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples
Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.
The link to Part 45 is [[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2367307-It-is-the-goat-jazz-we-seek-but-the-twee-monitors-have-too-much-opinion-on-getting-between-the-sheets-sexpests-writing-notes-we-may-be-but-at-least-the-bins-go-out-Were-all-praying-our-uterus-won HERE ]]
The current Grads Fred is [[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2368193-Wed-rather-have-a-finger-than-a-funnel-whilst-eating-our-bodyweight-in-Raspberry-Magnums-to-ease-the-fanny-daggers-keep-growing-those-babies-viroids-its-JS-Grads-no-27 HERE ]]
The current Mumming Fred is HERE
The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE
The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE
Stats sheet is HERE
We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
There was shagging and now I'm bushed.
Remember above all else that it's your day.
would be a complete waste of money for me anyway because if it showed i was ovulating i'd have to find some way of quickly getting to DP (500 miles away...)
I told him (the dog) I'd send him back to the rescue center but he doesn't seem bothered.