Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)
- Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
- Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
- Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
- Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
- Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.
JSing lingo
ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'
Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!
Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.
Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).
POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?
ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.
JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.
Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.
Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!
Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.
Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!
Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP
SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP
TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!
Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'
Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!
Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid
Cat - Compulsory
Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples
Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.
The link to Part 45 is <a class="break-all" href="//" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">[[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2367307-It-is-the-goat-jazz-we-seek-but-the-twee-monitors-have-too-much-opinion-on-getting-between-the-sheets-sexpests-writing-notes-we-may-be-but-at-least-the-bins-go-out-Were-all-praying-our-uterus-won</a> HERE ]]
The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">[[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2368193-Wed-rather-have-a-finger-than-a-funnel-whilst-eating-our-bodyweight-in-Raspberry-Magnums-to-ease-the-fanny-daggers-keep-growing-those-babies-viroids-its-JS-Grads-no-27</a> HERE ]]
The current Mumming Fred is HERE
The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE
The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found HERE
Stats sheet is HERE
We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.