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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Can I still get pregnant if my partner is a heavy drinker?

18 replies

gossipgirl81 · 29/04/2015 20:43

Hi ladies, I have been ttc for about 4 months with no success. I have been using the Clearblue digital ovulation indicator which gives me 4 fertile days and have been trying to dtd on a couple of those days.
My partner is a heavy drinker in the evenings and will drink 4 beers every night and 8 per night at the weekend. We both know this is an issue by itself, but now I am wondering is this why I am not getting pregnant?
I know this is a really stupid question, but can a heavy drinker/borderline alcoholic still get a woman pregnant?

OP posts:

HoppityVoosh · 29/04/2015 20:49

Yeah probably. Alcoholics have children all the time. Obviously when TTC both of you should be as healthy as possible, so he really should cut down drinking for a number of reasons.

But do you really think it's a good idea? That's a lot of drink. What on earth is he going to do when the baby is here?

CultureSucksDownWords · 29/04/2015 20:50

I think that you should address the heavy drinking before you do get pregnant. It could be a really big problem.

If he's that regular a drinker presumably he's going to find it really hard to cut down/stop? He really can't be drunk around a tiny baby. Not to mention the cost of alcohol that could be saved up towards the baby instead!

Anyway, to answer your question, yes it could well be affecting the quality of his sperm. Also, you might want to try having sex every other day for the period before, during and after you think you might be ovulating.

StrangeGlue · 29/04/2015 20:51

It can take a perfectly healthy couple a year to conceive so you're well inside that. But I would be wanting to sort out his drinking before bringing kids into the picture.

SurlyCue · 29/04/2015 20:53

The question is why would you be trying to get pregnant when there are unresolved issues in the relationship?

Really, i dont know why in earth you would do that? Is that fair to a child? Do you know the strain a new baby puts on an already good relationship? Add alcoholism into that and you are setting up a horrible situation for raising a child. Think seriously about this. Address the alcoholism first. Ttc later.

Vap0 · 29/04/2015 20:55

Get him booked in for a semen analysis. If I was you I wouldn't warn him before the test that booze can effect things so you know it will be of a similar quality as when you are trying and see what the results say. If the results show abnormalities then he will probably be more inclined to address things then. DP drinks more than yours and his tests were fine. They do suggest both people limit alcohol intake when TTC although how long can you realistically ask him to not drink for?

Wishing you luck

Original poster

gossipgirl81 · 29/04/2015 20:56

Thanks for the advice, he is a good partner and not abusive or anything like that, he doesn't even really get drunk, he just uses it to help him sleep and wind down, he says it is boredom as well that makes him do it.
I think a baby might even help as he has said he wouldn't want to be drinking if there was a baby in the house

OP posts:

CultureSucksDownWords · 29/04/2015 21:00

I think if women can manage not to drink heavily for 9 months plus when pregnant/breastfeeding then it's reasonable to ask a man to do the same!

I think he's kidding himself if he thinks that he's only drinking that much to "wind down" and to sleep. If he's able to reduce/stop then he could start right now, surely? It would be much better for his health, for TTC and for your household budget.

SurlyCue · 29/04/2015 21:05

how long can you realistically ask him to not drink for

Umm, it isnt just OP trying for a baby. she wouldnt be asking him. If he wants a baby he would be asking himself and would be happy to stop drinking.

I think a baby might even help as he has said he wouldn't want to be drinking if there was a baby in the house

yeah? Ask him to start now to prove he actually can before you bring a baby into the mix and find out he cant.

Original poster

gossipgirl81 · 29/04/2015 21:10

Thanks VAP0 , that's reassuring about your DP, yes I would love him to get a sperm test, I have this niggling feeling that the alcohol is affecting it and that's maybe why I haven't got pregnant yet

OP posts:

ToastyFingers · 30/04/2015 09:40

My parents, as heavy drinkers/chronic alcoholics managed to have my sister and I.
Whether or not your dp drinks while ttc will be the least of your potential future children's worries.

It's a shit life growing up with people who put booze first.

SockQueen · 30/04/2015 12:30

Heavy drinking can affect fertility, but obviously it's not a universal rule and plenty of people who drink a lot still conceive.

You are both in denial if you think that amount is "not too much" or just for "winding down" though.

NameChange30 · 30/04/2015 12:34

Why do you want to have a child with an alcoholic?

As a PP said, TTC is the least of your worries.

ItsADinosaur · 30/04/2015 21:43

I think a baby might even help as he has said he wouldn't want to be drinking if there was a baby in the house

Do not put the pressure of him giving up on to your child. You're talking like it's a pet. Babies grow up. Get these issues resolved first, it's extremely unfair to bring a child into this. How ridiculous.

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 01/05/2015 07:14

This is a crazy idea. If he thinks he will give up the booze when there's a baby around, then he can do it now. If he has an excuse and doesn't give up now then he clearly has a problem and you would be insane to continue ttc.
Having a baby is hard enough without adding such an enormous problem into the mix.

Tootsiepops · 01/05/2015 11:39

If your partner is drinking nearly 40 bears a week, he is an alcoholic (not a 'borderline' alcoholic, or a heavy drinker). You need to have a long, hard think about bringing a baby in to a situation like that.

Tootsiepops · 01/05/2015 11:40

*beers. Bloody autocorrect. No one should drink bears.

ItsADinosaur · 01/05/2015 11:47

A baby is not a sticking plaster for a relationship. It will only intensify any problems you have.

Chip305 · 22/05/2016 15:16

Bit of positive feedback for you I have an alcoholic husband been with him for 14 years I have a 12 year old and I'm 6 weeks pregnant so yes u can conceive with a heavy drinker.
Everyone is giving there opinion on ur partners drinking so here is mine. Living with an alcoholic is hard work especially with brining a child into the situation but (personal opinion) my husband is an alcoholic he's not going to stop drinking and he admits that himself he only drinks after 6pm owns 2 successful businesses and is a fantastic dad yes we argue but don't all couples and it was him that wanted another child so keep your chin up and as long as ur relationship is solid then keep trying n you'll get there xx

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