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In search of sperm donor - any advice?

12 replies

d1150927418364b001725 · 21/06/2006 23:35

I am 39 and single and the clock is now finally ticking too loud to ignore, so seriously looking at going it alone. Don't really like the idea of an anonymous donor, but need to be realistic and consider all options! So does anyone who has been through it have any useful advice please on where to go? For example are there agencies that let you see a photo etc. Or what was/is your experience of finding a donor a different way?? Would REALLY help to hear your experiences!
Thanks a million in advance.
Sophie.

OP posts:
NotAnOtter · 21/06/2006 23:38

sorry cannot help but a friend recently gave birth age 42 to a beautiful baby who she conceived through donation...just a clinic. Good luck!

hunkermunker · 21/06/2006 23:40

I have no idea, but your MN name is unusual! Welcome.

NotAnOtter · 21/06/2006 23:45

whereabouts are you - is there a donor clinic neaarby

AttilaTheMeerkat · 22/06/2006 07:01

Another site you need to look at is www.hfea.gov.uk. This group is the regulatory body.

wannaBe1974 · 22/06/2006 08:15

have you tried looking at

this site

Piffle · 22/06/2006 08:16

there was an atricle in the paper last week, fresh sperm is not governed by the same frozen sperm laws about registering sperm donors.
I know one quoted £450 per fresh sperm delivered to your door.

suss · 24/06/2006 21:34

fesh sperm can have prblems as it is not screened for infections, diseases. I would contact your gp who can refer you to an assisted conception unit, they order the sperm and do the proceedure. Much safer, good luck I hope you get what you want.

hester · 24/06/2006 21:56

Hi, I've been down this route (but as a lesbian in a relationship, not as a single woman) and now have a beautiful baby girl (born when I was 41). That's the good news! The bad news is that it was a long and difficult journey. Your options are:

  1. Go to a clinic that treats single women (there are a number in London and elsewhere - the HFEA has a list). Pros: they find the donor for you, it really is anonymous (until child reaches 18), you avoid risks of STDs etc. Cons: the cost, plus they use frozen sperm which isn't as effective as fresh.

  2. Use one of the services that offer fresh sperm from anonymous donors. You need to be really careful here, because you have no guarantee that the donor is being honest and the sperm cannot be properly screened.

  3. Find your own anonymous donor. You could do this via internet but this could be very risky. Best is through friends, but it can be tricky keeping it anonymous.

  4. Find a known donor. Best is through friends, but you could also try a service for lesbian and gay parents like the D'Arcy Lainey Foundation, which I think helps put prospectcive parents in touch with each other.

I went for a known donor, and my daughter now has an involved father. Very best option for us, but then we were lucky to find a great guy.

So far as I know none of the agencies or clinics let you see a photo or give you much info about the donors they use.

Best place to go for more information is the D'Arcy Lainey Foundation, the PinkParents website or read 'Challenging Conceptions' by Lisa Saffron.

Very happy to offer more suggestions or tell you more about my experiences if that's helpful. Good luck

SquillosMum · 16/08/2006 11:01

I had ds through donor insemination as dh infertile. We are now trying to have no2 but many clinics not offering service anymore due to lack of sperm donors since the law changed recently to remove anonimity. This law doesn't apply to fresh sperm, just frozen, but as others mentioned there are risks with fresh sperm due to less rigorous testing. Good luck.

TheLadyVanishes · 16/08/2006 18:27

correct me if i'm wrong but you posted on parenting stating your dd who is 7mths and the problems you are having with weaning

?????????????? so now i'm really confused

SquillosMum · 16/08/2006 22:33

Wasn't me who made that comment as this one (below) was my first time!

TheLadyVanishes · 17/08/2006 09:18

sorry squillosmum I meant the original poster

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