Another month, another bfn...and a baby shower to go to

[Whatsdoneisdoneisdone]

Sat here crying. 9dpo, bfn. I know I'm not anyway because I knew straight away with ds. Plus have pmt from hell which is not helping.
Later I have my friend's baby shower. We had our first babies at the same time and she keeps saying to me "have another one." yes, we've been trying for twice as long as she's been pregnant.
Haven't told anyone irl we are struggling. Don't want to talk about it and can't stand the pity.
So fed up. The baby shower thing is mainline it about a hundred times worse.

It's shit isn't it? I've seen 3 babies born since I've been trying and several more people are pregnant. Deep breaths and if you feel weepy go to the loo to compose yourself.
I gave myself away when cuddling my friends twins and she mentioned about me having another and I couldn't actually speak so she guessed we'd been trying already. I also told my mum the other day as have been having tests and it came back that I don't ovulate last month so I cried on the phone to my mum. Is there someone you trust that you can talk to so you can offload?

What's done how was your baby shower?

It's horrible isn't it. Nothing anyone can say makes you feel better. I've had a terrible day, basically cried all day just because I can't get pregnant :( your not alone, everyone being pregnant around you makes it all so much worse.
I would recommend telling someone, I've told one friend n it's really good having her to talk to on a down day. I hope you get your bfp soon!