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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

So who in real life knows you are TTC?

19 replies

Quodlibet · 21/02/2012 10:56

That's it really - I'm just interested as to the decisions people make about sharing the ups and downs of this weird/frustrating/potentially joyous time outside of their relationships. If you do, does it help you get a bit of perspective, or do you feel you have to be really careful who knows?

We've been TTC only 3 months but haven't shared that with anyone in RL, though I'm sure it wouldn't surprise my close friends.

OP posts:

iloveberries · 21/02/2012 12:01

We didn't share with anyone to begin with but as soon as i started to talk to friends and my DMum and Ddad about it i felt much better. I know it's a personal thing but having people to talk to (apart from DH) was a godsend to me. goodluck :) xxxx

eurochick · 21/02/2012 12:27

I've also found it helpful to speak to people. A few close friends knew we were planning to try after getting married, but we didn't really start to talk to people until we had been trying for a while. Now we are gearing up for IVF and quite a few people know - my closest few friends, my parents, husband's mum (not sure about dad), one work colleague I am close to, plus of course several dozen people online!

Many of my friends have had ttc problems of their own and so were senstive to what we were going through. The only negative reaction has been from my mum, surprisingly, who has just been "funny" whenever I have tried to talk to her about it.

farfallarocks · 21/02/2012 13:03

Sadly loads of peopke and I now wish I had been more private about it as now everyone is always waiting for an announcement

Original poster

Quodlibet · 21/02/2012 13:48

Thanks - it's hard to know exactly what to share isn't it? It seems that it can be so exposing of the private aspects of your relationship as well as managing the expectations about possible babies! But on the flip side nice to relieve some of the pressure of it all.

Good to hear you've had such good support from friends euro and ilove, and good luck on your respective ttc journeys. Mums can be odd about potential gc can't they? I know my mum sometimes has difficulty containing/channelling her very strong feelings about it.

OP posts:

ChairOfTheBored · 21/02/2012 15:43

Just my Mum (and I think it's dawnin g on DH).

Didn't want to tell too many people, in case it doesn't happen easily. Though it has had a marked impact on my mother - she's given up phoning, in case of interupting moments of SWI!

Original poster

Quodlibet · 21/02/2012 15:57

Lol at 'dawning on DH'.

Yes it can bring your sex life rather sharply into focus for people can't it?

OP posts:

iloveberries · 21/02/2012 16:05

Also laughing at it 'dawning on DH'. Bless them. men are sweet but sometimes they're so clueless

kalidasa · 21/02/2012 16:26

I've not told anyone in person. But I have a two or three close female friends who I see rarely/not at all (live far away) but we email a lot and they know - or at least, they know that I've had two v. early losses. Only one of them was blunt enough to clarify whether we were actually trying! But I guess the others must realise. Mentioning it in an email seems less of a big deal somehow.

I'm hoping that we manage one that sticks soon so I can tell people I'm pregnant rather than ttc. But if it doesn't happen soon-ish I think I'll talk about it more to other friends so that I'm not relying only on dp for support.

ImpatientOne · 21/02/2012 16:34

People who I have clearly told - my GP, 1 close friend and my cousin who I am very close to and is pg herself so has been helpful.

There are a couple lot of friends and family who wouldn't be surprised but are generally polite enough not to ask - and of course a few who ask every time I see them. We will have been married for 3 years later this year so some of my family are getting a bit twitchy - my parents have already had a high chair and pushchair passed on to them!!!

DH is still studying and I recently started working for myself so have been using those as excuses as to why no babies yet but starting to wear thin!

GTbaby · 21/02/2012 19:32

i have told my two best friends.
i think my sister 'knows' but officially has not been told iyswim.

i think most close family members are expecting an announcement soon.
and ppl at work keep asking me when i will think about babies and i just brush it off with 'soon, but not yet'.

and my mum has told me to 'get one with it and make a baby' she said it laughing so cant be annoyed with her or say 'we are' lol

so how do you all cope with -so are you trying yet/ when u having babies? type of questions?

ChairOfTheBored · 21/02/2012 20:25

GTbaby I am famously blunt, so depending on company tend to enquire sweetly whether they'd mind shoving the sofa to one side so DH and I can get cracking there and then.

That seems to stop all questions in their tracks.

It also helps that until fairly recently I had been utterly non-plussed by all things baby, so have managed expectations down.

ImpatientOne · 21/02/2012 20:31

@ Chair

I made a professional move to paediatrics last year so that's been another good excuse! When people ask I just say that working with children is a good contraceptive :)

ArielNonBio · 21/02/2012 20:32

Sister, cousin and everyone on MN, and some woman I met in the pub the other night . Otherwise, no one, and now it looks as though we have problems, I'm glad.

AppleShaped · 21/02/2012 20:42

My mum knows (she's planning a RV holiday to oregon and looking at baby clothes in Walmart ATM!)
OH has wanted another DS/DD for 2yrs + so i think i will suprise him him when/if i become PG!. Good luck OP!

MrsTwinks · 21/02/2012 22:07

My SIL and her DH (they've just had a little one) my brother and his DP (they are getting married so wanted to explain why sober at hen etc) and my best friend who is very good at 2ww distracting. Other than that no one will know for as long as possible after we get our BFP

babybythesea · 23/02/2012 15:47

Most people. Didn't tell anyone with dc1 and it happened fast!
Then we started to get 'You're going to have more than one, aren't you?' type comments/questions. Initially when we started trying for DC2 I said 'Oh yes, when we're ready.' After 15 months of trying, I now tell the truth - we've been trying for more than a year and it hasn't happened, so we'll see. Depending on the mood I'm in/how much I like the person I may also add (waspishly) 'But I think the one we have is pretty special, don't you, so if we don't have another one we'd still be very lucky. Don't you agree?' Usually shuts people up! And the longer I use this strategy the fewer people venture to comment on it!

PhoenixFromTheFlames · 23/02/2012 20:19

We didn't tell people initially, then after a few months we told quite a few people...then they kept asking any news? . Unfortunately we have had fertility issues and it's now been over two years ttc...people who knew we were ttc have now stopped asking! For those questions, I just say we'd love kids but due to health reasons it's not possible at the moment. Not many people pry into the specifics. I find that easier than trying to say ooh no rush because the tick tock implication is hard to take!

ArielNonBio · 23/02/2012 20:21

Ha! I forgot, I once told mother we were going to TTC. She asked if I was taking folic acid, because she thinks I am a moron and wouldn't think to do so on my own.

She asked a couple of months late "how's the folic acid situation?" I told her never to ask me again. She hasn't

Buggerit · 23/02/2012 20:28

We told the world when trying to concieve ds2, we didnt think it would be a problem, 2 years down the line you do get a bit fed up with the 'any luck' question. We are ttc again and promised not to tell any one, but my lovely friend stumbled across my pregnacare ttc vitamins, another remembered that i once said i would try again when ds was 2 (he was last september) she asked if we were ttc and i am an awful liar!!

So here is our announcement to the online world - I had my implanon removed last August, my cycle is currently 5/6 weeks and due to surgery my hubby has not really been in the mood since new year, but he is starting to behave normally again now MY NAME IS BUGGERIT AND WE ARE TTC

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