mid 30s, TTC #1, 2 years so far, fed up. anyone else?

[CaipirinhasAllRound]

Just wondering how many of us there are in the same boat

Ps the lab called this morning as they've been able to freeze a 5th blastocyst

That's excellent news !

I took the full two weeks off. Although my job is sedentary it is stressfull and I hate it (which rationally I know won't make a difference) but also I have a horrid commute which often sees standing for an hour or sitting on the floor of a train. For my own peace of mind I'd just rather avoid all of that for a couple of weeks and take the opportunity of just lounging around at home for once

Hope the OHSS symptoms are getting better.

xx

Warning - crazy venting to follow!

Had a spate of pregnancy announcements lately but the most recent has really got my goat, telling me she's 15 weeks with her 3rd child but she understands my sadness cos she's had miscarriages to which my husband's nearly had to physical restrain me from emailing back to say a) she can't possibly begin to understand the fear you might never have children when you have 2 kids & a 3rd on the way b) your miscarriages were v early, quick & natural so u have no idea of what it's like to be operated on after being told there's no heartbeat and c) all your pregnancies happened naturally so you have no idea of the indignity, stress and bank breaking cost of going through assisted conception.

So rock on with your 3 kids & cath kidston lifestyle but leave me the f* alone!! Think I may need to a) take a chill pill and/or b) come off FB for while...

Sorry posted too quickly in my crazy venting rage!

Hope you're all well. capirinhas hope OHSS is under control. Are you taking one week off or two? I've got my day 21 appointment in 10 days so all being well, will start again at the end of the month. Can't decide how much leave to take sick/annual so interested to hear others thoughts/plans.P

Ps currently going to cinema heaps in pre-Oscar frenzy. Silver Linings Playbook was fab, off to see Lincoln on Sunday. Not sure I'll like it based on trailer & reviews but we're going to see it in fancy cinema with big comfy seats & a licenced bar so that should help ;)

Hi lesley hope you're feeling better post frenzy. Bloody insensitive woman....
I'll have taken 2 weeks off in total. EC was on a Monday and I needed that whole week off after as I felt so awful. I'm now loads better but am taking this week to relax and give myself the best chance. I took 3 days as special leave and had booked Mon-Wed this week off biut emailed my boss this morning to check I could take Thurs-Fri as well, and I'm kind of hoping I won't have to use holiday for that as I let him know about OHSS.... My job isn't mega stressful and I could have worked from home for some of this week but to be honest it's boring and I know I would have done nothing.

Having read your post I've just looked at the local cinemas and am now considering going to see Silver Linings Playbook on my tod tomorrow. It's hardly on at all, just 2 showings this week and both in the day.

Thanks missbrightside, OHSS is much better now and I can even do my jeans up

Having not been able to eat much when I was feeling so rough with OHSS, I seem to have flipped completely and don't seem to have stopped eating the last couple of days, not helped by my sister bringing over doughy cookies! I was reading one of the other threads about people doing IVF and they're all discussing how much exercise they're doing. I figure if I'm PG, who cares if I get fat, and if I'm not I'll worry about exercising and getting fit then, for now, I don't give a shit!

Hi, hope you are all well. Thanks for my friendly welcome the other week. Have been watching everyone's progress with interest, especially you Caipirinhas, as I'm hoping to be in the same boat soon - trying not to calendar-watch too much as my fertility appt is still quite a few weeks away. Have gone a bit mental with the waiting and decided to have some acupuncture - figure nothing else has worked so it can't hurt to try. Has anyone else done this? Am I just wasting my money?

Lesley - I feel your pain. We were away with friends at the weekend, and I spotted within the first few hrs she was probably pregnant. She had a panic the next day which meant they came clean (she's only 6 or 7 weeks) and told us they were bailing on us to go to the local early pregnancy unit to get checked out (she's fine, by the way)....cue me feeling like a complete bitch for a) being horribly jealous and b) struggling to find sympathy when her husband started telling us about how she hated hospitals /can't do needles / doesn't think she can cope with it all. She is 38 and it took them less than 6 months. I wallowed in my misery all day Sunday.

On a happier note, let me know whether Lincoln is worth the cinema trip - I teach A Level Politics so feel like I should see it!

hi st4rfish - I did acupuncture for a few months and while it didn't 'work', I did enjoy having someone to talk to and found it relaxing. Did cost loads though

I've stupidly been googling OHSS as mine's tons better. I'm still a bit bloated but not half as much and I'm not uncomfortable anymore. I know the clinic said it could get worse before it got better if I got pregnant and evil Dr Google seems to be suggesting that I'm not probably not pregnant if it's disappearing.

I'm am now stepping away from the PC and promise to have positive thoughts

(if I'm not pregnant, I really need to change my life, I can't go back to my dull job and carry on as before or I will die of boredom)

People are so bloody insensitive Lesley. I'm sure she thought she was being kinnd and thoughtful, but how could she possibly know? I've had so many situations like that and I'm not going through assisted conception, so I can't even imagine how rage-inducing it might be to hear things like that. The most ridiculous thing is that half the time people don't even know they're doing it because they don't think and then go blundering on enraging people around them. Glad you feel a bit better now though.

Caipirinhas - I'm feeling similarly to you today. I feel that if I don't get pg I need to change something about my life. I've been putting my life on hold for so long waiting to get pg and I feel like I can't keep doing it. I keep hoping something will happen either with pg or job, but nothing so far. You know as soon as one thing happens the other will as well. Sod's Law, eh?

Let us know how Lincoln is - sounds good, but not sure if it's a cinema or wait-til-DVD one.

re Lincoln, my parents saw it and my mum loved it but my dad, who is the film buff, apparently fidgeted the whole way through it!

Bearface we registered a company a few months ago but haven't done anything with it. Actually, beyond having a name and owning the url, we haven't even figured out what the company's going to be, but that is my Plan B I think

That's a great first step though Caipirinhas - really exciting! You could maybe still do it alongside your day job until it got off the ground? I am writing, writing, writing, then I guess once I've written I'll be banging on all and sundrys' doors trying to get a publisher. Dreams, eh?! That's my Plan B. Speaking of which, must get off and do some. Thanks for the tip on Lincoln.

would love to write a book! good luck x

Ha ha - me too! x Seriously, give it a go! You never know until you try . . . Look at E.L. James!

Good god - there must be something in the air today - I'm also feeling really morose. I blame the fact that there was NOTHING on television last night. DP and I sat there thinking is this REALLY it ?? Ended up watching a recording of the Channel 4 documentary about Plane Crashes just to cheer ourselves up. Even though we have our next cycle in sight time seems to be going really slowly. I just want this nightmare over now ........ !!!

Anyhow, enough of my sorrow ....

Caiphirinas Step away from Dr Google although I'm not really one to talk as I would be doing exactly the same

Lesley I didn't realise you were starting again so soon. Is this - like for us - your third cycle ? I'm thinking that 3 will be a lucky number for us both this time round !! Having used ALL (well, all bar a handfull of days) of my annual leave last year for all things fertility/IVF related I'm going to get signed off sick the next time although does help that I am also sick of my job and don't have any qualms doing so I've not told my job about the IVF (and don't intend to now !) so will have to be signed off for 'medical procedure' or something. Like Caiphirinas if this doesn't work for us next time a new job will be top of my list of things to do .......

Bearface Oooh ... an author. How exciting ! What's the book going to be about ? (Sorry that's really nosey ! I only mean is it a thriller/romance/crime etc !)

Starfish I did accupunture during my last IVF cycle and because it didn't work I won't be wasting my money doing it again. But there are pleanty of women who swear by !

Not Now How are tricks ?

Hello to everyone else.

Sorry - before I go - one last moan :

Don't think I've moaned about this on here before but my hair is wrecked !! Thanks to Dr Google I now know this is a common side affect of the IVF drugs. It's dry, dull and falling out ! Everywhere I look I see a hilighted blond hair ....... ! I have it tied up in a top knot most days just so I don't have to see it ....... ! It's also a common side effect after pregnancy. Cheers monther nature for that !!

xxx

Hello ladies
I have not signed in for ages and seem to have missed so much.
Lesley People are so f**king annoying, can't they just keep their stupid thoughts to themselves. I have also been plagued with a series of pregnancy announcements and that alone makes me want to punch something or someone! To be fair I have kept the fact thatI seem able to concieve thing pretty quiet as I know I could not cope with the sympathetic looks and stupid nuggets of advice from people who have no idea what its like.
caipirinhas that was great news about the amount of eggs they collected and that you now have an embryo on board..maybe best to stay away from google, it only causes stress and for me lack of sleep (because I end up searching for hours and suddenly realise its 1 in the morning and I have to go to work the next day).
Bearface a book sounds great, but please no more E.L James nonesence.. I am sure that you have far greater creativity (and better use of english) than that.

Hello everyone else :)
I am trying to get an itinerary together for a holiday (should be working!) only problem is that one of the places that we were intending may require anti-malarials which is not good in ttc terms. The area is not that high risk so am not sure if I should just not take the tablets (even though chances of concieving are minimal), need to decide quick as I have to book flights. I had a chat with our consultant last week and he has said that he now thinks we should try IVF, so I kind of would like a little holiday before that all begins.
xx

Hee hee Pomatron - I haven't even read Fifty Shades except for the first few pages and that was a waste enough of my time. I always just think, well, if she can make money from it, then hopefully one day, so can I!

missbrightside - I'm writing a thriller. Hoping it gives someone a thrill eventually!

Pomatron - I personally wouldn't go without the anti-malarials, as once it's in your system you can have it forever and suffer from subsequent relapses, which for me is not worth the risk. A holiday sounds great though!

Hi pomatron - where are you planning to go? We'll be going somewhere if this doesn't work. Currently contemplating central America or somewhere new in Asia or Brazil

Hi everyone. I have been completely distracted from ttc by my top celebrity spot yesterday. I was taking a school trip to the Globe theatre and walking along Bankside when I walked within two feet of Ben Whishaw, who was Q in Skyfall and Freddie in The Hour. Anyway, I was a bit stunned to see him (I luff him) so appeared to be playing it cool until he had walked past, at which point I started jumping up and down, pointing and making incoherent high pitched noises like Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body-Snatchers. Then he turned round. I believe it was what the youth call an epic fail. He is gorgeous in the flesh though. Came over all unnecessary.

I'm afraid I've just had to google him as never heard of him. So had we been in a bar chatting up men (not that I've ever done that by the way ) he would have been all yours as I would have been none the wiser to his celebrity status ......... !

The Globe is obviously a magnet for celebrities as one of the times I went there Uri Gellar was in the audience (well, he was in one of the posh boxes) He had to be pointed out to me as I would only have recognised him if he was bending spoons. I did not come over all unnecessary !!

Oooo - I saw Trigger from Only Fools and Horses (Roger Lloyd Pack) at the National pulling along either a shopping trolley or a fold-up bike behind him. I can't remember which, but like to think it was the shopping trolley.

I also saw Simon Callow when I went to see Much Ado which had Catherine Tate and David Tennant in it. Was brilliant btw

Apart from that though I never really notice celebrities - DH always does though. I tell him it's because he's tall; he tells me it's because I look at the floor!

That Simon Callow gets around. I saw him sitting outside a Costa Coffee when I was on holiday in Scotland !!

(We'd had a few drinks and due to drink induced memory loss then spent the rest of the day trying to think of his name !)

Ha ha - he does get around. I always get his name confused with Simon Cowell - you couldn't get two more different men!

I've seen Simon Callow's willy. He got his little lad out in Equus and I was in the second row. Scarred for life by the experience, I was!

Oh my word! I'd be scarred too. If we're talking celeb weeners I've seen Benedict Cumberbatch's when he was in Frankenstein. I was really glad I wasn't at eye level with the stage as he was rolling around pretending to be born I believe they call it acting! and I imagine you could've seen a lot more than you bargained for if you were closer!

Haven't seen any famous willys but did sit very close to the front when Lee Mead was in Joseph and spent the show totally disappointed about how puny his chest was in real life ! Like a school boy. Made me shudder a little bit.

Hee hee MissB - made me laugh that you have an angry emoticon because you haven't seen any famous willies!