Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your leathers, black nail polish, air guitar and jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling. All welcome! (Part 17)

[MarathonMama]

Hello! Just miscarried and ready to start again, come and join us...

IQ oh no, I hope the doctor has got back to you by the time I post this. I'm praying it is harmless, stops soon and your little one stays put.

LateToThis welcome, sorry to hear of your loss. We all have different experiences and stories but the common thread is you need to give yourself plenty of time and space as you may feel so up and down as the days pass. This is a great place to share it all.

IQ how are you this morning? Really hope you managed to get some sleep last night...thinking of you!! Is DH away again at the moment? Is there someone who can come and be with you to help you get through the next 24hrs until the scan...which I'm sure will feel like an absolute eternity! Big [hugs] for you!

latetothis hello...so sorry you are having to go through all of this as well. As whatso said try and give yourself time and space, the trauma of this experience will crop up randomly and knock you physically and emotionally...there's no normal pattern. Enjoy a few glasses of and take it easy this week if you can.

Think AF may be taking her leave already which seems a bit quick...though it has been pretty heavy, so will have to wait and see will come back to check on you IQ v soon...

IQ really hoping this means nothing and is just one of those random things. Hope you're bearing up ok. X

IQ ditto what missg has said, I am praying that it's just some spotting that is common in pregnancy and nothing more. Will keep my fingers crossed for you that everything is okay at your scan today and you come back with good news. xxx I can't remember if you said your DH would be coming to the scan with you, if not is there somebody else that can hold your hand?

Welcome late, sorry you have found yourself here but it's an amazingly supportive thread, i'd be lost without it!

IQ any news? We're all thinking of you x

IQ I am meant to be rushing off out but couldn't just to read and then write later. I want you to know I have EVERYTHING crossed for you. Two of my friends had bleeding in early pregnancy after a prrevious miscarriage and it was all fine. I realise that bleeding can mean good or bad, unfortunately, but thought I'd say it all the same. Easier said than done, I realise, but try and take care of yourself and try not to stress too much (ha! possibly some of the least likely to be followed advice ever!) Hugs xx

LatetoThis hello. Sorry to hear you are going through the same shite as the rest of us have gone through. I too wanted it 'over' once I found out that development had stopped at 6-7ish weeks. I found it easy, most of the time, not to think of it as a baby as such, (I think if I let myself I would have gone a bit bonkers) but as something that could have been a baby but, sadly, this time it wasn't to be. I too am keen to try again but DH is more reluctant due to the fact we have just moved into a building site and are currently very short of cash. You may find your emotions swing madly up and down though (mine did) so brace yourself for this.

Morning all,
Well no more bleeding this morning and only a tiny bit during the night so trying to stay positive as I haven't had any pain or any problems. DH is away from home but my sis is here.....she actually came to be with me for the scan so was lucky that she was here at the time. It currently feels like tomorrow is a life time away but I suppose as every hour passes it is a bit closer.

Just got to manage to get through this until tomorrow when I have my scan.....fingers crossed that it is all ok. Additionally I think that if this pg actually gets to that point I will have to have my sister there during labour - I think her no nonsense approach and generally threatening me with bodily harm helped me to pull myself together and get some rest. She said "in the movies when someone is hysterical and their friend slaps them.......if you carry on that is what I'm going to do to you"........it might not have been what I wanted to hear but I needed it!!

Also trying not to focus in on my own problems - welcome to late - these are the best ladies ever and it's a wonderful place to let it all out and be supported in all the highs and lows of life, relationships, MC, TTC, dc's and anything else happening at that time.

Love to you all!!! Xxxx

Thank goodness you are not alone! And your sister sounds like just the right person to be with you at the moment. Someone equally fretty would drive me mad if I was in your shoes, so no nonsense is trhe way forward I think. Well done sis!
At least the scan is tomorrow and not, say, in a week. When my friend had the early bleeding she had to go for a scan and they couldn't find a heartbeat as it may, or may not, have been too small. Luckily she went back a week later and it was beating away big time and she is now 24 weeks.
Bet you are living up to your nickname InsomniaQueen big time at the moment! Hang on in there! xx

IQ looking back on previous posts, where you told me your MC story, the friend I had who had the bleeding and had to wait a week (who's now 24 weeks) is the same one who got pg immediatelly after a MC. Lets hope you are having the same run of luck as her in more ways than one!

IQ that sounds positive, fingers crossed for your scan tomorrow and really hoping it was just a scare.

LatetoThis I'm so sorry you're going through this too, our stories are so similar - it took us 7 months to get our first BFP so I too am hoping to get TTC again asap and that it doesn't take as long this time.

I had a couple of tearful moments yesterday, mainly because I know that if and when I do get pregnant again all I will feel is anxiety rather than the heady excitement of last time.

Feeling more positive today though, as I've spoken to a few friends and relatives who, it turns out, have been through the same thing and gone on to have healthy little ones.

hope last post made sense, am writing while doing 3 other things and also having DH talk to me about painting tables!

IQ so glad to hear the bleeding has tailed off, and lol to your sis's 'encouragement'. Sometimes a voice of reason is badly needed since, post MC, we appear to have zero capacity to think rationally. Hoping and praying for happy news tomorrow x

And, welcome Late , so sorry you have to be here of course, but I'm sure you will find great support on this thread (my earlier post was a very quick one to IQ - my HTC phone is rubbish for posting messages on MN, much to my annoyance, especially as I am now on here way more than anything else! Which, of course, is a testiment to the ladies on here )

Hope everyone is ok today. Legs, Bums & Tums tonight, followed by bodypump immediately after. First time I'll have done the 2 classes together in weeks. I am going to be so sore tomorrow!

Well, well, I am gone for a little over 24 hours and look what happens!

Firstly, welcome to babydino, Hob and Late As already said, we're happy to have you although sad about the circumstances that have led you here. I will also reiterate what has already been said about being patient WITH YOURSELF and to expect things to be very up and down - even for women who are physically ok vey soon, the emotional side will suddenly hit. Or, you actually think you're fine and are not dwelling... yet keep arguing with DH or finding yourself angry/snappy... Seriously, this time is difficult, even when it seem easy.

I will also add that very soon after my mmc, I was utterly desperate to get pg, and yet have found myself wobbling (HARD!) around O the last two months, feeling I didn't want it at all!

I guess I'm saying there are no hard and fast rules, we all process stuff differently, but there is a sense that we have ALL been all over the place emotionally. I think it's really important to actually feel what you're feeling, iyswim? To just push it to the back of your mind and look forward, go to work as normal, may not be the best idea.

But, again, we're all different.

Here I am the big echo again, the ladies on this thread are quite amazing. SUpportive, funny, intelligent. This thread has been a life saver.

Now, IQ please don't mae my heart stop like that! I can imagine how worried you were/are. Thank goodness for your sister (I'm liking the sound of her!). And, you do know that some spotting in early pregnancy can be very ery normal, right? Especially if you have no pain. So, I'm happy to hear it's tailed off and everything is tightly crossed that you get good news tomorrow (remind us of the time of your scan?).

And now for the me, me, me bit.

So, I got up this morning and thought 'I'll take one of the 'new' ic's I have as kind of a control - it's too early to test, considering I figured I O'd on saturday - cd20.

I dipped, laid it on the windowsill, then came to the lappy to put my temp into fertility friend; which promptly gave me cross hairs for THursday - cd18. Hmm. Then I go and make my coffee and potter about in the kitchen tidyin up a bit. Then DP gets up and a few minutes later notices the test layin on the sill.

'Is this an ovulation one?' he asks, knowing I was still taking them up until yesterday as I haven't had a positive yet this month.

'No, that's why is says hcg on the handle'

'Have you seen it?'

'No... I haven't looked at it'

So I zoom across the room and there's a super faint line.

'It's too early', I say

'Not for my super sperm, it isn't'

As I was looking for other instances of bfp at 5 dpo (and not expecting to find any!) I remembered my temp on cd15 that I discarded... I UNdiscarded it, and then I get dotted crosshairs for cd14, making me 9dpo. Now we're in the realms of possibility, and the line looks kinda similar to what I was getting last time at this point.

THing is, it was after the time limit, so I can't help thinking EVAP! And, of course, I poured my fmu away not thinking I was testing seriously so...

I have to bloody wait until the morning to test again/record another temp.

Time for some serious metalling, I think (even though the little voice in my head is calling evap)

Wooah, Missgiraffe1, I'm impressed! I was meant to be starting classes with a friend when we moved but got the BFP instead so it didn't happen. I am meant to be starting again though once I am back to my normal self. Are you generally pretty fit? I am prob fitter than average but it tends to simply cancel out the crap / booze rather than make me look particularly fit.

Cross posted!

Thanks for the wise words and welcome Manda and - eeek! Bloody nora!

Can't write more at the moment but will be back later.

IQ at your sister and more [hugs] for you...well done for staying calm...even if it was with some gentle sisterly encouragement...so glad you're not on your own as well! Hang in there...

missg those two classes together sounds like some form of torture...you crazy lady!! Then again I could barely contemplate doing my usual morning sit ups this morning due to AF deciding that she's not left after all and seems to have made herself quite confortable again...grrr...but thought 2 days was a bit of a short stay...oh well!

hobnob the tearful moments will keep coming and going, best to let them happen as it will help with the healing...and yes, when we all get our new bfps there will be much stressing, 'metalling galore' and need for nice comfy padded places for us to try and sit quietly for 8 weeks until we get our 12 week scans done...and even then probably more 'metalling' until the next milestone and so on...

I read of someone saying that one of the things they were mourning for after their MC was the fact that they will never be pregnant for the first time again...so true...there is a blissful innocence to that which unfortunately we wiil never have again though obviously I'm trying not to dwell on that though it does crop up in my thoughts now and again!

Right...time for some food...thinking soup today since it's a bit grey around here...and soup is most comforing when AF is staying...

OOOH...sorry...x-posted with manda how could I have missed that!!! Be crazy if you do get your bfp after all that wobbling!!! Another loooong 24hrs for you then...have you got any digi tests in stock to try tomorrow if you get another bfp on an IC?

manda OMG OMG OMG OMG !! Why did you discard your temp on CD15? How common are evaps on ICs? If your DH picked it up though surely it was within the 10 mins? There is no way I could wait until tomorrow to re-test though! I'd try to hang on and not pee for 4 hours or so then do another test - do it!!! Do you have any FR tests?!

I haven't got a scooby what's up with me this month with the spotting and everything. Still haven't done a test as I don't have any in the house (was a deliberate manouver but secretly regretting having no ICs left!) Only 1 digi but I don't want to waste it IYSWIM! Am 9po today but with crazy spotting GRRRRR

Better do some work !! xxx

IQ hope all is well, thinking of you today xx

OMG Manda ! Are you our 4th BFP??!! I am now wondering how I am gonna get through the next 24 hours until you test again, so I can only guess how you must be feeling!! Unless you plan to test again today? Not that I wish to put any thoughts in your head .... honest. (as if those thoughts aren't there already as part of the serious metalling you are now doing).

Padded cell for Manda please!

Hobnob it is so sad how common MC is and, like you, I found out about so many friends and relatives who had had one (or more ) after having mine. Although it's heartbreaking that we're all here, I echo ("ECHO.... echo.... echo...." sorry, bad joke, clearly been spending too much time with DH) what Manda has said about this thread being a life-saver. Who else would we metal with otherwise???!!!

Baby Eating crap and drinking like a fish too much alcohol?? Must have me confused with someone else
Yep, you hit the nail on the head, if I didn't exercise I would be the size of a house (I am only 5'1", so maybe a bungalow, but a house nonetheless). I try to drink gin & slimline tonic, or vodka and diet coke, but there's nothing like a big glass of or a cider with ice.... mmmmm...
Was it you who asked about how DHs took the MC and TTC? Well, mine pissed me off big style. His Dad called a couple of days after the ERPC and obviously asked the question "how are you/what are you up to?" and I heard my DH say, "Yeah, good, not up to much really, just trying to work out what we're doing with the garden". I was like WTF?? Stewed for ages, then accused him of the MC not being important enough to bother telling his Dad about, and he said that he just didn't want to give him such sad news over the phone . Felt a bit bad, but was also wallowing a little, so didn't really talk about getting back on the TTC wagon. A week feels like quite a long time when you're going through this. About a week later, I said "right, it's been 2 weeks, I'm sure it's ok to start trying again" and he obeyed. I had a bit of a freak out though when, in the absence of AF, I got a BFP 4 weeks after ERPC, but it turned out to be left over HcG from MCd pg . One thing I would recommend to you all Hobnob and Lady is to test to make sure you get a BFN, as those couple of days not knowing if I was newly pg (and having to act as if I was just incase, i.e not drinking and avoiding certain things) was a horrible limbo to be in.

Marathon how are you today?

(btw the word echo is one of those words that the more often you type it, the more wrong it looks )

Manda oh my life and love!!!!! I shall be waiting on tenterhooks tomorrow to know if it's a BFP.....this has at least given me something to think about not just myself which is great......keeping my legs toes and fingers crossed for you!!!

Scan is 9:15 tomorrow.....so will have answers for all by about 12ish as the hospital is a little way from here.

MissG goodness love your dedication to the work out!!!

baby yeah I'm hoping so - just have to see how it all goes tomorrow.

Thanks to all of you for your support and big hugs to all the newbies!!! Xxx

Well, pie I took my temp at 4.30am as usual and just slid the thermometer back under my pillow, as usual, and went back to sleep (the room is pitch black). I check the temp in the morning as when i switch the thermometer back on it will display the last temp for a few seconds. For some reason, when DP got up around 6 for a wee and left the door ajar (the hall light is left on overnight) I decided to look at the temp by the light coming through the door. Mistake! I couldn't see it properly... although I'm pretty sure It was 36.6something. I think .65 But I'm just not 100% sure. And, of course, after 2-3 seconds the reading was gone and lost forever!

If I look at my chart including that temp, then it's quite similar to last months - a sharp rise, followed by a sawing motion heading back towards the coverline. Then on that I thought might have been O day, a huge dip way below the coverline. When I took my temp that morning though, I noticed my nipples were tingling and I though perhaps it was linked to O (although I've never had that before - I get sore nips on 1dpo). They've been sore on and off since (uh, feel kinda sore now). So now in my metalling state, I think 'implantation dip?' (and my temps afterwards have been higher than the ones before it).

I simply have to metal wait until tomorrow!

BlueCrane you hit the nail in the head when you said we can never be pregnant for the first time again. In a way, that was / is one of the things that hit me the hardest, having direct and very vivid experiene of MC and it being so hard to forget. The fact that most people go on to have healthy babies doesn't help either, even though perhaps it should. Also, as I keep saying (or saying along the lines of) I hated the first 8/9 weeks too and don't want to go through that again! Well, I said I didn't at the time but recent events seem to have provoked a re-think!

Manda my DH would have had exactly the same reaction about super sperm as yours. He also seems to think that due to his, ahem, super sperm, it would take one go to get pg again. Hmmm. If only it were that easy. While it didn't take long last time it doesn't mean it'll be the same for the next does it. Unfortunately.

MissG glad to hear you are not too much of a gym enthusiast! I do lots of walking with my dog (and very hilly where I live) so am pretty active (also don't have a car) but still struggle a bit. I am naturally quite apple shaped, and also think diets are a load of arse, so really need to get doing more once I am more capable.
I think if my DH had been similar on the phone a few days later I'd have been pissed off too. However, I guess I would have also have been pissed off if he had gone into detail so really it's a lose lose situation! Before the 12 week scan, I got very irate with my mother who told lots of people, family, we were expecting and was very dismissive of the idea of me not wanting to tell people in case it went tits up. She seemed to think that she could tell who she liked as I was telling (select) people - and my argument was that it was MY news not hers and so I could mention it to whoever the hell I liked. Once we had the horrid scan she was great, she is far better with bad news than good I think, but it does make me think twice about telling her if / WHEN there is a next time. I realise that being pg seemed to make you public property and this is something that doesn't seem to fade after you have the baby either. Oh joy...

Hello all. My my, what an eventful time on this thread!

IQ glad the bleeding has stopped, and hope to goodness all is well at your scan tomorrow. I'm on tenterhooks for you. Your sister sounds ace!

Manda - exciting!!!! Waiting with baited breath for your next POAS results....

MissG - hardcore on the classes! I've started running in the last few weeks and have surprised myself by enjoying it. I was going to try zumba, but my local class clashes with yoga, and I love my yoga class too much to stop.

Will be starting Slimming World or Weight Watchers after my holiday to try and shift some lard, as it would be nice to have one thing that makes me feel a bit down off the list.

Pie spotting sounds irritating, hope it sorts itself out soon

Hello Blue, hobnob, baby, marathon et al. (This is a rare occasion where I am on a laptop and not my phone so I can actualyl scroll back and see the recent posts and do personals!)

I feel quite a bit brighter today. I could actually feel the cloud of anxiety and depression lifting yesterday, and given that is was day 3 of my AF I'm almost sure the two things are heavily related.

Ex-boyfriend from uni's wife had a little girl yesterday and I feel pleased for them rather than hideously envious. I think this must be a good sign (sign of what I'm not sure, but good nonetheless).

baby I totally know what you mean...I remember (with a shudder now) that I said to DH early on that I felt as though I didn't know what to expect at all and felt quite lost with it all (pregnancy that is) and that it would be easier if one could have a dry run (so to speak) and know how bloated/constipated/over-tired etc etc one would get...how I regret that statement as I was so so pleased to have got to 12 weeks... only to find that I hadn't really at all, so now I have had my 'dry run' but it will only make things much much tougher for the second time around rather than easier and a comfort which is such a shame!

manda the 'symptoms' are sounding encouraging...hang in there for tomorrow morning...though I suspect there'll be no point taking your temp then as not sure you'll get too much sleep tonight!! Oh the joys of metalling!!