How do we put this to people?

[BiscuitStuffer]

We have 2 kids (3 and 1.5)
We're spending Christmas day with MIL, my mum & dad and my 2 sisters.

We're fine with people buying things for the kids but don't want anyone buying for us as it gets really expensive, w don't need anything and for us it's not what Christmas is about.

We don't want anyone to feel awkward and want to make it very clear to people without them feeling that they ought to get us something.

how do we do it?

I thought I might say that our kids will be buying pressies but we won't, so please don't get us anything. OR do I say - please can us adults not buy anything each other BUT the kids would probably enjoy giving the grannies and grandpa something but then it looks awkward for my sisters.

How do you handle this?

I'm lucky as me, my family and dh's family agreed years ago (when I didnt have ds, but we were getting more and more nieces and nephews in the family) that it would be less pressure for everyone if we stopped buying for siblings (and partners)and just buy for kids as Xmas was about pressie for kids and adults spending quality time together.

We do still buy for our parents and they buy for us.

Our kids dont buy pressies back but we do make sure they write (or make) thank you cards.

These are your family, why not just start a conversation on how difficult it is to buy for everyone and how its all about kids to gauge what their thoughts on the matter are? Maybe they will agree no pressies for siblings, or maybe do a draw and everyone buys for one person, or set a £5 a head budget and do funny pressies.

I tried the same with Dh's family as none of the adults need anything, we can afford to buy our own stuff. I've got two small children I've got better things than to buy 12 adults presents. It didn't go down well, so I'm just going to get all adults a book, sit down one evening with the Book People or Amaxon and then its done. They may be miffed by our inexpensive presents but I'm sure we will get something equally as inexpensive next year .

I know someone who has a large extended family (various step-parents and step-siblings).

They buy presents for all the children but each adult draws another adults name out of a hat. They then each get (and buy) one present worth about £50 rather than lots of tat little ones.

It's easier to do the no presents for adults thing if all the adults have children - but several of my siblings have no children (one doesn't have a dp either) so it seems unfair not to get them something when they are so generous to our dcs and then they get us something and so it goes on....