Do you deviate from list or just get what asked for?

[pinkponie]

Dd has worked out what she wants with what I roughly spend and so she has tailored her list to that 😂 I could buy her exactly what she asked for but that would leave no money for anything else; what do others do?☺️

how old is she op?

Kindles will be on offer on Black Friday, so you could make a big saving there, and maybe use the spare cash for a surprise.

Definitely wait until you get to Black Friday for a kindle. I bought one for DD in the summer prime days and saved around £50 I think.

It's worth sticking to Amazon though, you get it without advertisement which is what you will have when you buy it at John Lewis for example.

Alternatively, you can look at a Kobo one, you can link it to the Libby app and get library books. Research and then speak to her.

No lists are always a guide.

Father X can't do all things for many reasons the only time my eldest got most things on the list was age 18 after incredible results and kept gazing at the pile...

You might get a black Friday deal on the kindle which would free up some of the budget for a surprise extra

sorry op I see you posted her age, I missed the post. Def stick to her list as it's in budget, then make savings where you can to pep it up a bit for suprises

but they CAN afford all the things, it's all in budget even before sales. why refuse to get items just in principle assuming it's all appropriate

I'm happy for my adult DC to send me links to what they want and DD kindly sends links to what DGC would like for main gifts with budget set. I buy stocking fillers for DC and DGC and make stockings which I really enjoy doing. I'm also happy for teen foster sons to tell me what they want and send a link so I don't get it wrong. I make them stockings too which is their suprise gifts. Stockings cost about £60 per person. Main gifts £150 for DC and foster DC and £100 for each DGC. I only have 2 so like to treat them to wildlife pass for season too.

If my son gave me a list, and it was all under budget, I'd have no reason not to get it all... but unless money was really tight, I'd still want to add a few of my own ideas.

That said, I really hate ultra specific lists that are basically shopping orders.

I think a lot of children need to be taught that there are two sides to giving presents. It is important what the receiver wants to get, but equally it is important what the giver wants to give. It is perfect when those things line-up exactly, but they won't always, and if you stick to just what the receiver wants, you'll miss some really special gifts.

For example, that jumper that grandma knitted that teenage you didn't really want, but adult you looks back on and loves as a fond memory of your grandma..

Or that useful thing your mum knew you needed and despite seeming boring on Christmas day, ended up getting used all year..

Or the homemade gift that you didn't really want, but the child spent so long making it that it still means a lot to you

etc.

You don't get those moments and that care, if you make it 100% about people get what they want. Instead we all just become amazon/shopping employees who follow a list, do what we are told, and everyone basically just does the shopping/ordering for each other.

My dd 15, asked for a budget last year and this year, as I asked her to put together a list. I deliberately tell her less than I’m prepared to spend so there’s room for a few surprises.

@pinkponie if there’s no wiggle room on spending more then you should definitely just stick to her list. She’ll be made-up to get everything she’s asked for.

No she is old enough to know what she wants.
I think surprises are more fun for the giver than the receiver, especially if it means the recipient misses out on something they want as the budget is spent on other things.
The only way I would add in surprises is if I got the items she wants at a lower price in a sale (like others suggest the kindle might go lower on black Friday).

I would get the list unless you think she’s just added things there that’s she’s not really fussed about so as not to lose out on all the budget being spent?

My DD really likes getting surprises but that’s getting harder. DS when little had to have stuff pried from him as he said Santa is magic and just knows but since he was little has only ever wanted one or two things so we get those and try to think of something else he won’t have.

Same as @User573359its a wish list and then we’ll select some items from it and some random presents which they may have mentioned throughout the year ie DD could do with a flat makeup bag!