Making christmas a nice day when It's just me and my parents

[PearPeer]

Usually there would also be my sister and brother in law and their two young adult children, plus a family friend. My parents host. They're mid-late 70s but very few signs of age thus far, both fit and well both body and mind.

This year family friend is elsewhere, Sister and bro in law are away with niece, and nephew is probably working.

So just us three.

There's a backstory in that things are quite awkward with me and my Dad. We haven't ever got on well, he was abusive to me as a child. Things were still awful when I was a young adult but in my thirties and now forties I just try to be 'normal' with him.

Me and my Mum have a very good, close relationship however.

I am just envisioning it being a bit boring, a bit awkward, a bit odd this year. I am actually slightly surprised that my Mum is still bothering with the whole Christmas day shenanigan thing but she wants to. We don't usually exchange presents and it hasn't been decided whether we will this year. I also don't believe I've ever had any meal with them as an adult just the three of us, Christmas or otherwise!

I am going to take Jenga with me as I know we all enjoy that. If it was me, I'd find out if anyone else was alone for Christmas and invite them to make it a bit more of an occasion! But obviously I can't do that at my parents' house.

Can anyone think of anything else I could do to make the day a bit more festive, enjoyable, 'fun'?

I'm im the same boat.

I split with my x in March 2025. Last Christmas my sister and BIL with there too, so five of us was nice with lots of chatter. This year it's just me and my parents, and I genuinely have no idea how I'm going to make chit chat all day long. It's exhausting 🙈

Sorry to hear that!

Yes, It's a bit of an odd one isn't it. I don't know what my Dad will be like. He can be absolutely lovely, or a complete see you next Tuesday depending on which way the moon is facing. I think games is a good idea...But only if he's interested! I will buy some 'naice' crackers with a theme to them too.

I usually go to my local pub before lunch, have a couple of glasses of fizz and see friends, and for the last few years my Sister and her family have joined me. I might suggest my Dad comes with me this year (I don't think my Mum will mind, she would probably appreciate him being out of the way). Maybe a couple of beers and some social chat might make him in a better mood)

What do you envision your day being like?

You don't have to go! I am staying at home alone this year rather than spend Christmas with my parents just the 3 of us.

My day with my parents starts around 11am and goes on until about 9pm when I drive home. No pubs around unfortunately!

We generally open a few gifts, then coffee and posh biscuits, then a few more gifts, then Christmas dinner, then the last few gifts ..... then we all start just looking at each other! They don't like the TV on Christmas Day, so i try and think up a few good topics of conversation prior to the day!

Mum really makes an effort to make it special and won't go anywhere else for Christmas. I'd love a good pub lunch somewhere (nowhere local, but a nice drive gets you out the house) but mum insists!

I really do. I'm in my 50s and I've spent every single Christmas Day with my parents. It's expected. Plus, if I didn't go I'd feel so guilty

No, you really don't. Your sister obviously doesn't feel she has to! And frankly if your dad is/was abusive to you then he can fuck right off!

My dad's a poppet .... you're confusing me with the OP I think

I hear you but my Mum would be so upset. I also live very close to them so it would just be a bit weird.

ah sorry! thought that was OP replying to the "you don't have to go" comment! Apologies, your dad does not need to fuck off! 😂

Poker or monopoly might liven things up! Also die hard.

I have that situation with some people I socialise with, having to carry the conversation can be so exhausting!

I also think a meal out would be good this year but It's a bit late for booking now and my Mum has suggested it for previous years but not this one, which suggests she's not wanting to. I agree, it would break the day up and be more interesting.

Monopoly isn't a bad idea. I don't think I've ever played poker but will haev a look at that, thank you.

I might also try to find a new game to take with me. But my Sister did that one year and none of us could figure out how to play it properly 😆The best games (IMO) are those that take 5 minutes to learn and can be played for hours!

Complicated ones are too much like hard work.

Why do you feel you have to go there? Could you just retreat to your own company once you’ve seen friends and popped in to say hello to your folks? What about spending the day with some friends? What about suggesting to your parents that you go out for lunch? Would your dad be more likely to behave well in a pub/hotel/restaurant?

FlayOtters 😀
That made me laugh. It's confusing, some dads need to fuck off and some don't. 😀

@PearPeer Assuming the weather plays the game on Christmas day then would a walk be possible? You can lose a good hour to it and also being outside lessens the cabin fever element.

Good idea! My Mum and me both love walking. Dad does, sometimes (!).

Thank you for all the suggestions! I was hoping to see my Mum today but she's busy, but hopefully tomorrow, then I will see what she's thinking and if she could be swayed to possibly finding somewhere to go out.

😆

In terms of simple to learn games:

• Taco, Cat, Goat, Cheese Pizza is an easy card game.
• Genius square / star can be played alone or with one other person (you only get two boards).
• Monopoly Deal

What’s so awful about feeling guilty that you have to make sure you never feel it? that horrible feeling in your gut that you’ve done something terrible doesn’t mean you have, it’s a feeling not a fact, you create the feeling so you can with time choose not to create the feeling.

You are choosing to go It may not feel like you have an option but you do, you aren’t a child stuck in a dysfunctional home any more.

you can definitely book Xmas day meal where I am still, people are tightening belts and it's a luxury. Go for a walk, some cinemas are open, play a game or two and if all else fails get drunk and sleep the day away. I totally get the fact that you have to go, hopefully you can make the best of it

It's very frustrating when people "insist " on something but don't put any effort in themselves !

Qwirkle is easy to pick up as a game and works across generations.

I feel for you. I’d hate that combination myself.

I've found starting a jigsaw on Xmas morning to be a great activity. You need one that will be challenging enough to last most the day. Last year I had a where’s wally Santa one which provided great challenge. The charity shops tend to have lots of puzzles.

How about taking a pack of cards? We used to play Newmarket and 7’s etc (can’t remember how to play them now!) for coppers when us kids were younger. Used to love winning a few pennies! Uno Spin has always been popular too with my children.
I think going to the pub first and then maybe a walk after lunch is a good shout.

Some great suggestions here - I really like the idea of a puzzle! I think you should also plan a film/series to watch because there will likely come a point where that seems a good idea and you won’t want to have to rely on what’s on TV. Either an old favourite - Home Alone, BBC P&P (5 or 6 hours worth!) or similar, or a new film/series you want to watch.