Replacing a beloved toy - honesty or deception

[InbetweenDreams]

I know some people have bought replacements of their children’s favourite toys and they might tell them a little story of how they “came back” from wherever they were lost or that kind of thing.

I am having a bit of a dilemma. My children’s favourite toys were damaged severely by being in a mouldy environment. My youngest has asthma and a laryngeal disorder that is reactive to mould, otherwise we might not have noticed. We had to get rid of everything that was “soft” - toys, clothes, furnishings etc.

I knew my DDs would be devastated to lose their favourite soft toys, so I tried to save them. We have treated them with everything we could get, done loads of research - after everything we’ve done the toys are barely recognisable. The fur is totally ruined. And still, my youngest gets this reaction so they’re still not even safe.

I have found, on Vinted, replacements of these toys - like some kind of miracle. My DDs don’t want the replacements. They want their original toy. But their original toys are making DD ill! Should I lie and say I’m sending them off to get a “make over”? Or another thing I thought was to buy some “special wash” (cheap conditioner) and chuck them in the wash, and then produce the “restored” ones after? My final idea was to swap their old toys for the replacements on Christmas Eve so they wake up with the new ones and say Santa did it? 😂

My DH says it would be dishonest. I just don’t know what to do. They flat out refuse to replace the toys, but I know continuing use is making my DD worse.

No, don't do it. My sister in law suggested to DH that she would help source a replacement for a much loved, favourite toy of DSD's. DSD appeared to fall for the trick but figured it out later on (a few years later), that the toy clearly hadn't just been off to be 'restored' given the state it had been in.

SIL and MIL live together - they kept the old toy 'for safekeeping', and have since fallen out with DH and are refusing to return the original to DSD. I wish I was joking. Pair of witches.

Anyway, please excuse my little in-law vent, but the moral of the story is... there's a decent chance they will figure out the deception and things will be much worse. Just put them in a zip lock bag and tell the truth - they are mouldy and mould makes us sick so unfortunately they need to stay in the bag.

Thanks for your story @EppingIsFun . I actually decided to be (sort of) straight with my DC. I told them I had been looking at the toy hospital because we thought they could clean the mould, but actually that wouldn’t be possible to clean mould away. I told them we had found replacements and they were surprisingly open to it!

I think it was because they had been imagining their toys all fluffy and like new, so the idea of keeping their old ruined ones was less desirable all of a sudden. My youngest decided it was fine because it was just a body, and that her toy’s “soul” is going to move into the new one, so she will have her old toy in a new body. I’ll take that as a massive win!

I think this is what I’d do too. I personally have no issues with Santa etc, but I think in this case your kids already smell a rat, so it’s better for everyone just to be honest. They sound like smart, lovely children btw.

In your shoes, I’d be really sympathetic and explain that you know it’s really upsetting, but the toys simply aren’t safe for them to cuddle any more and you’ve done absolutely everything in your power to solve it, but some problems just don’t have a solution unfortunately.

I wouldn’t be throwing the toys away as they’re clearly very attached to them, perhaps they could be stored safely somewhere for now. I’m not normally one for keeping things that can’t be used but in this situation I would keep them as I imagine chucking them straight away would be very upsetting for them.

Then I’d ask them what they would like to do- they could have the Vinted replacements, or go to a toy shop and choose something completely new.

Great news!