Not happy!!

[Slidingthrulife]

I have been seeing someone now for many months and he has some interesting ways about him like he never wants to stay over at mine as he likes sleeping in his own bed etc etc

Anyway I planned to have my family over for Christmas (about 14 people) and after seeing his grown up children for a Christmas lunchtime drink he would spend the rest of the day with me. Anyway he rung me Christmas morning to say that he didn’t feel well and wouldn’t be coming for Christmas Day. He didn’t want to pass on his germs to my guests

However he still managed to go to the pub with his grown up children and a friend of mine saw him pack away at least 4 pints of guiness so he couldn’t have felt that unwell!

I feel genuinely let down and not sure how to now take this forward

Thoughts?

He's not that into you. Crack on and find someone who.is and would be thrilled to share your bed and your Xmas. Bon chance.

It’s a green flag that he wants to spend Christmas with his children rather than someone he has only been seeing a few months.

I always knew he was seeing his kids but they went back home to their mums and then the plan was that he could have Christmas dinner with me - what do you mean by a green flag?

Have you asked him

Lying and making up excuses is not a green flag!

Honestly, he just doesn't seem as keen you are OP. Has he got a lot of great qualities? Does he make your life better?
If not then move on and find someone who does.

He didn't want to come. I can't really blame him. It's a fairly new relationship and maybe he didn't want to socialise with you and 14 of your relatives. The lying wasn't great though.

How you feel about that and what it means for your relationship is up to you.

Yeah after 4 months that's intense. He should have had the balls to say it though so my man baby detector is going off

It sounds like you are a low priority for him.
Does he come over for sex and then leave? That’s the impression it gives.

You sure he's not still married?

Tell him to take a hike he has no interest in your happiness or pleasing you , he sounds very selfish and set in his ways. And he definitely doesn't want to commit to you cut him lose now and save yourself even more heartache

You must have it out with him as it sounds like you have nothing to lose if it goes pear shaped. Don’t carry the worry. Communication is the key.

If the relationship doesn't suit you for any reason whatsoever OP, you can just end it.

Perhaps he knew he woud have 4 pints in the pub, not feel like socialising with your family and thought by saying he was ill was easier.

If you feel disappointed by him you don't need to change him, feel hurt, analyse you can just dump him before you spend more time circling the drain.

I wouldn’t believe gossip from a friend. That’s not any kind of proof … if you’re incompatible and you want more time together than he does, just move on- you don’t have to find a reason.

I think on one hand it’s great he spent time with his kids when the opportunity arose, potentially something was going on there, where their plans to go back to their mums didn’t materialise. I’d be annoyed he lied, but I can see why he did, and maybe didn’t feel telling uou he wanted to spend it with his kids would go down well.

And it’s a red flag that he lied about being ill