Christmas Has Talent

[sarah861421]

For various strange and complicated reasons we are having a Family has Talent competition at Christmas. 12 adults ( age 25 -65 ). Its our boxing day evening entertainment. My problem is I HAVE NO TALENT!!! Has anyone else done this, does anyone have any suggestions. I cannot sing / juggle / play an instrument etc
I was thinking of reading out a funny poem or singing ( badly ) a funny song ( though my son did point out that reading was exactly a talent ) any thoughts anyone?

Everyone has a talent!

If you’re good at remembering, there’s a good chemical element song that goes through the periodic table in order,
Or the story of Harry Potter to the Harry Potter theme tune?
I can do these and I have no discernible talent!

Can you skip? Cross-skip/backwards etc? Or quickly learn how to breakdance? Maybe you are super good at cooking and can write a story/poem with them to eat the food at the particular time?

How about typing fast or drawing (could you do a flip book or a quick charicature?) maybe a puppet show doing good voices of a popular tv show (game of thrones etc?)

Funny song wise, Stephen Lynch is very very funny but a little filthy for some, or maybe something by Tim Minchin?

any use??? ]]

Oops link works but I managed to delete my typing! Some Christmas poems

Pmsl @ "quickly learn to break dance"

Such optimism.

Can you bake op?

Could you be the amazing disappearing woman and just go to the pub

Not helpful at all.

Oh it’s easy RJ

In fact as soon as I finish this bottle of red I suspect I’ll be an expert

😁

Admittedly I have two left feet

Do you have a dog you can 'perform' with (stand there while it does a trick or something.)

Or, maybe you could learn a magic trick to do? There must be tutorials on YouTube.

Or tell jokes?

Disclaimer: This kind of enforced fun is not up my street at all. A singsong around the piano is fine, but solos... of adults performing to other adults.

Learns a Magic trick to perform?

Shuddering in horror at the idea.

Search for Christmas humour monologue and you can just read.

I was thinking something along these lines driving instructor but something with a female POV or a Christmassy theme

Thank everyone this is just what I wanted, Trust me - I have no talent but I can read so I love the idea of reading a Christmas monologue or poem its just trying to find the right one. Keep the thoughts coming - thankyou

There's a book of Christmas Round Robin letters that is absolutely hilarious. You could put some of those together as a monologue. I think the book is by someone Hoggart.

www.dailymotion.com/video/x31ylik
Learn this. You will amaze everyone with your knowledge of history

horriblehistoriestv.wordpress.com/the-monarchs-song-song-lyrics/
this is the actual version but the words aree out of sync so annoying to watch (but I love it!)

Does it have to be good, or can you do something shit and revel in it?
Eg just roll on the floor for AGES and claim you're actually breakdancing?

NB you'd have to have nerves of steel and be good at deadpan face.

Or are you providing the food/hospitality and you can claim that as a talent?

A little outing but my husband and I learnt Billy Joel's We Didn't Start The Fire for something similar. Nailed it.