Starter emergency!

[WhatamessIgotinto]

OK maybe not an actual emergency. I always do a starter on Christmas Day but have decided not to this year because by the time everyone gets to pud they're all stuffed and no one feels like eating it. MIL is disgusted and tells me that if I can't be bothered to make a 'complete' meal it won't feel like Christmas. So, dear reader, is she a grouchy pain in the arse or am I a shocking hostess?

If you have always had a starter then no starter would feel odd I suppose.

I'm tempted to tell you she is a pain and can shove it up her arse, your house and all that but that's not very Christmassy is it?

tell to either make it and bring or stay at home.

I never do starters as we not big eaters. We usually have our main meal then a couple of hours later pudding.

Well to be honest it doesn't really matter what I do, she'll moan about it anyway!

Tell her if she starts moaning and bitching you shall serve mother in law kebabs.

Or she can stay away!

Melon from aldi

Just ignore and do what you planned, pudding trumps starters, everyone knows that!

Just be dead retro and 70s and do a glass of orange juice served on a side plate with a tiny doily.

Or don't bother.

Just do some nice crudités and prosecco before the main event.

We do canapés as a sort of starter as some people like to nibble before and others aren't big eaters, but that's not the point. You need to take a breadstick and insert it up your MILs backside.
I'd tell her she probably should stay home as it's clearly not going to be the Christmas experience she's after.

So does everyone else want a starter or is it just MIL?
I don't do starters either, no-one would finish if we did.

Is everyone going to sit and watch while she eats hers or are they going to eat a starter they don't want?

You are hosting so she should go with your plan.
Though I'd put all the stodgey filling foods on her plate then pudding and brandy butter

"There , aren't you glad you didn't have a starter?"

Smoked salmon (or gravalax if you're fancy) with lemon and brown bread. Done :)

I'm doing prawn cocktail cos it's my house and I can have what I want I'm going to use glasses and hang them off the side and everything

I like the canapés idea, a small selection of party nibbles from marks maybe? Not too many so you're not stuffed. We're having melon and cold Italian meats but just small portion, plus a gap between each course so food settles and noone gets too full.
She sounds a delight, by the way - good luck!

glass of orange juice on a side plate with a tiny doily

Oh yes, Britvic orange , the really sweet stuff, warm

I've never had a starter before Christmas dinner IN MY LIFE

Wouldn't want one either, I just can't manage three courses.

She has no manners.

Pot noodle for one would be ideal.

Get a couple of tubs of decent prawn cocktail, packet of blinis and packet of chives. Teaspoon of cock on blini, snip of chavs and serve on platter with fizz. Job done.

I've never had cock and chav blinis sounds like my kind of Christmas....

teaspoon of cock on blini

Sounds dead posh, serve that OP

"cock on blini, snip of chavs"

Goodness that's a lively starter!

A portion of tinned fruit salad in an iceceam glass or a bag of cheesy whotsits.
When she cooks she can decide what to serve.

I second prawn cocktail in a glass with one dangling off the side! I'm so classy!

Your house your rules! Personally I love salmon mousse. I don't pile up the plates so can do 3 courses (or maybe I'm just a massive pig)!

Teaspoon of cock on blini, snip of chavs and serve on platter with fizz. Job done.

Very rarely do I read a post that actually really does make me laugh out loud, but this is fucking hilarious!

Cock on blinis coming right up for the MIL.

Pombears

Ooooh, oooh, an actual starter my mother made that I really could not eat!

Green jelly (lime possibly?) mixed with raw onion and cucumber.