WWUD - DM or SIL Xmas Day?

[Madmog]

DM means well and does care, but can be a tricky character. With the exception of one Christmas she's always had Xmas Day with us. Think DH copes with it by drinking a glass of wine while he keeps out of the way cooking lunch, then by the time he's had another glass over lunch he lets things ride over him. She has no other family and two main friends will be away, so no one else to go to.

SIL has invited us for Xmas Day. DH said no immediately as DM will be on her own. SIL turned round and invited DM.

I'm 99% sure DM won't want to go to my SIL's (on DH's side, doesn't know them) and even if she does not sure I don't trust her to pick an argument.

Trying to be fair to DH here as I'm sure he'd like to spend the day with his family, but know my DM will be down if she's on her own all day. WWUD?

It's about time your DM got to know your SIL. Invite/persuade her along and have a happy family Christmas with everyone in one place.

If it doesn't work out, try something else next year.

SIL. Your mum has an invitation and it's up to her to accept or refuse it.

My dm is lovely but she'd feel really uncomfortable in this situation.

To that end, I'd politely decline SIL. Or invite her to yours.

DM has the option of going to SIL's with you and DH, instead of staying at home alone. Very generous of SIL to include DM without a second thought, as you can point out when asking DM. She might be on her best behaviour with people she doesn't know, and it might do DH good to have her behaviour diluted a bit in a group of people.

I think you should go to sil. Not fair on your dh to never spend Christmas with his family, just because your mum doesn't want to change her notmal routine. It would he different if sil hadn't included your mum

My DiL is an only child; she and DS alternate coming here and going to her parents every year. Every Christmas they should come here I ask her if she would like to invite her parents as I wouldn't mind: every year she says no. I feel guilty all the same. Perhaps that's how your SisiL feels? I do feel that you should pass the invitation on - your DH has been very good over the years and I think you should compromise this year. Just say that you have been invited there and the invite includes your DM, if DM has any sense she will accept, but please don't feel guilty if she doesn't. I hope it works out for you.

SiL sounds lovely. I'd go there and encourage your mother to accompany you. As a pp said, if it doesn't work, you can do soomething different in 2016.

I think you're putting words into DM's mouth. Let her make her own mind up. Or invite both sides to your house.

Your DH sounds lovely. I think he is well overdue seeing his side. Encourage your DM to come along - she might be on her best behaviour at SIL's too. Or, yes, invite SIL to you and if it works out, itwill be easier for yourDM to go to hers next year.