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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

Do you spend the same on each child?

35 replies

amazegumball · 18/12/2014 18:31

Have 3dc the youngest being 19 weeks.
I have brought for my baby but not much. The elder dc ( who are 8&9) I have spent alot more as my eldest has asked for laptop and my other dc has asked

OP posts:

Original poster

amazegumball · 18/12/2014 18:34

Sorry stupid phone!
My other dc has asked for a tablet.
Anyway I mentioned this to sil she was absolutely dumbfounded that I haven't spent the same on each child and its basically favouritism!

OP posts:

2anddone · 18/12/2014 18:40

I don't spend the same amount but I do but the same number of gifts for each child so their piles are the same size iykwim! They both get what they have asked for but so long as it's not totally obvious that loads more has been spent I don't worry. Varies each year who gets more money spent on them dependent on what they ask for so definitely not favouritism!

Jumblebee · 18/12/2014 18:42

I only have the one but I'm pretty sure me and my siblings had the same amount spent on us.

However your baby is 19 weeks old, you probably have everything you need, if you spent the same amount on your baby you'd be buying for the sake of buying. Far more sensible to just get a few bits and bobs for the baby as they'll not understand it all anyway!

LizzieMint · 18/12/2014 18:42

Seriously, she thinks a 19 week old is going to notice?! I have three too and have literally no idea whether I've spent the same on each. They've each got a similar pile of pressies, but all very different stuff. None of them have any 'big' presents as such this year so probably if we were going to spend a lot, we'd pay more attention to balancing it out. But definitely not if one was still a baby!

Dionysuss · 18/12/2014 21:30

All 3 DC get the same list of presents, with the exception of their main gift. Each get a DVD, book, puzzle ect. I think it all averages out, but I wouldn't buy extra to 'top up' someone's pile.

fairyfuckwings · 18/12/2014 21:35

I always spend the same (more or less) on my 3. My youngest gets a lot less on actual presents so we put the difference in her bank.

It might sound weird but it's how me and my sister were treated growing up. I know my mum still has a spreadsheet even now to make sure she spends exactly the same on each of us. And I'm 42!

Original poster

amazegumball · 18/12/2014 21:48

But surely say a teen who wanted a laptop costing £300 plus has different needs then a toddler?? What u you spend that amount of money on for a toddler??

OP posts:

fairyfuckwings · 18/12/2014 21:50

No I'd probably spend 50 quid on the toddler and then put 250 quid in the bank.

Footlight · 18/12/2014 21:57

My kids have no idea what anything costs so it looks roughly the same, but in actual fact, it may sometimes be wildly different. The aim for us is to produce the same level of happiness in each child.

At each of their first Christmases (7 weeks and 11 weeks) they both got almost nothing of us.

RedTinsel · 18/12/2014 22:04

Always the same number of presents. Roughly similar amounts. But mine are twins so like similar things.

At 8 & 9 they are hardly going to know how much their presents are going to cost. They'd be delighted that they've got what they asked or.
Id probably buy a little something for the baby, more so the older two dont think he's been left out by FC.

Original poster

amazegumball · 18/12/2014 22:08

I've brought the baby a jumperoo. and few rattle sensory things. Older girls have roughly the same presents

OP posts:

SootInMySack · 18/12/2014 22:09

I don't think there's any favouritism tbh, it's understandable you would spend less on the younger sibling, they have no value of money therefore it doesn't matter.

nicky2512 · 18/12/2014 22:14

No, have never counted up the cost or compared. Both ask for a few things they really want and I then get them surprises, but always stuff they will really like. Both have quite specific hobbies so are easy to buy for. I try to have roughly similar number of gifts but they are now 9 and 12 and have never commented on how much they each have. They are too busy getting stuck into their own new stuff!

fluffling · 18/12/2014 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CaisleanDraiochta · 18/12/2014 22:41

Mine are nearly 8 and 9 too and I go for similar sized piles but most importantly its the perceived 'value' to the child IYKWIM So i'd say a laptop and a tablet would count as equal, regardless of the actual cost. Not sure what a Jumperoo is but if your little one will get as much fun out of it as your older two get from their gifts, then I would consider that equal too.

No way would I spend laptop/tablet sums of money on such a young baby either, just to spend the same on each child. A friend of mine once wrapped one of those big boxes of nappies plus wipes and a tin of formula milk, for her then 12 week old at Christmas. That way all the DC had an equal looking pile and the older ones were satisfied that FC hadn't forgotten their baby brother. In fact he had delivered nearly everything a baby that age could possibly want

NancyJones · 18/12/2014 23:04

Similar piles rather than similar costs here although the baby has the obligatory 10 stacking cups all wrapped individually!

ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO · 18/12/2014 23:27

No.

I expect at some point I will have too, but at the moment, older one gets more spent...

I buy what each will like but am on a budget anyway...I guess when they hit 10 ish wil have to start allocoting funds....its roughly same ish

TheBuskersDog · 18/12/2014 23:59

No I'd probably spend 50 quid on the toddler and then put 250 quid in the bank.

But why? You probably would have spent less on the teenager when they were a toddler and when the toddler is a teenager the teenager will be an adult, it all averages out over the years.

PurpleSwift · 19/12/2014 00:20

No. I don't understand people insisting on spending the same on all their children. Children at different ages tend to ask for different things. In sure once they're all 18+ it'll be pretty equal / they won't care

TrousersRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 19/12/2014 00:25

Nope. DC1 understands the value of money and gets a little bit more, on the understanding that she needs to work for extras (eg top-ups for her phone.) DC2 is 6 years younger, and doesn't understand money. He gets cheaper presents that match his wishes.

IME so long as each child feels their hopes have been heard and acted on to a reasonable degree, it doesn't hurt them (and in fact probably helps them) to not have all their wishes granted.

LuannDelaney · 19/12/2014 00:30

We just buy our dc what they would like or need at that age.

insanityscratching · 19/12/2014 06:32

I spend the same on my three adult children but I spend more on ds 19 as he is at college rather than working (and has autism so pulls my heartstrings) and dd aged 11.
When they were all younger they'd get a similar number of presents but the cost varied depending on what they wanted that year.

financialwizard · 19/12/2014 06:51

Our two teen boys get exactly the same spent on them/given to them and our dd(4) sometimes gets a little bit more spent but I'm talking £10/£15 more.

Our boys know exactly what things cost these days and will give me a list that meets budget normally.

bigbluestars · 19/12/2014 07:03

No I don't.

I buy gifts that are equal in pleasure terms.

A few years ago I bought DD a hamster and cage (£35) which she was longing for, and DS a PC ( £380) which he too was longing for.

Both equally happy.

DD tends to get more spent on her throughout the year- £130 a month for dancing lessons and gear - DS gets a fraction of that.

Floralnomad · 19/12/2014 07:06

I have 2 DC ,we have never had a set budget and we never price match between them ,the way I see it is that they both get what they want ( usually) and over the years it will balance out .

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