I am a bad, bad mother - I should never have done it

[Katymac]

Despite DD having a bad chest infection last week, I let DD go away at the weekend

She had been on oral steroids and she was tonnes better - but obviously she wasn't but I did think she was

She came home this evening and she is really poorly again - aches & pain, a fever, almost disorientated

I feel so bad for letting her go

and you all agree with me

I am a failure

Don't feel bad.

I expect she would have been poorly whether she was at home or away.

Hope she's better soon.

I prob wouldn't have let her go away but today is another day and we live and learn.

No you are not.

She was ill, and if she had had a normal weekend at home she would probably have ended up the same but she would have sulked at not being allowed to go dancing.
Don't be soft, and go and give her a cuddle.

Meant to add, so you would have had a sulking ill child.
At least she got to dance, and did pretty well too.
What's done is done.

You're not because sometimes you have to make a judgement call, which you did, and you can't predict the consequences. And as someone else pointed out she would have sulked if you hadn't let her go but she went, she had fun and she will learn how much her body can take which is important if she's going to continue dancing.

DH & I are checking her loads

I think it is a bug/virus just a different one to last week - sore/itchy ears & headache & pain

Poor poppet - I still feel guilty, & we ran out of calpol so she had to have paracetamol (which she hates)

You're NOT a failure >

We've all done it - it's virtually impossible to judge whether a child is "just about well enough" or not - she seemed better, so you thought she'd be OK

you don't know whether she would have fared any better if you'd kept her at home, really

just snuggle up, get her better and stop being overcritical of yourself

I guess I just made a bad judgement call - it's not that big a deal I suppose; it's what the school were accusing me of anyway (just in the opposite direction)

I feel so guilty - I am monitoring her carefully

What were the school accusing you of katiemac?
I don't think being ill is related to being away at all but if she is poorly now or tomorrow,please take her to the GP.
If she's quite ill she could have tonsillitis and need A/B.
Hope she feels better soon.

She has had lots of viruses/bugs this term, & she is now a 'persistent absenter' & we have been called up to the school to discuss it - they initially wanted me to send her to school so that they could decide whether she was well enough to attend (as I obviously couldn't tell/would let her stay off for nothing/was a wuss) - but they changed their mind after a big meeting

She is so ill this morning - her dad had to carry her to the bathroom - the worst symptom is that her 'skin' hurts, I am wondering about a reaction to the steroids?

Hi katie hope she is better ~did you get her seen today?

Yes but it really didn't go well
see here

NHS Direct took me really seriously & we had lots of possibles about what could be wrong (including Shingles/slapped cheek/reaction (or side effect)to steroids/virus) at no point did she suggest I was over reacting

Then the GP actually laughed at DD saying her toes hurt when the Dr touched them (she says they feel like pins & needles only different) - I think laughing at her was unacceptable

Really sorry to hear this

Have had a lot of this over the years, taking dd to doctors with symptoms that don't add up. Except that eventually she did get diagnosed with a joint disorder. And this time, after the GP had told her repeatedly that they weren't interested her kind of symptoms and refused to examine her until she had questioned dd in private about my parenting- she did turn out to be anaemic after all.

It's shit, but as a parent, you have to follow your instinct.

Constantly being torn between accusations of being an overprotective parent and accusations of not being careful enough can make life hell. Sometimes you just have to stick your fingers in your ears and go lalala.

Despite it being 11am I might just drink them

She had a chest Xray this am & the 'other symptoms' are just the end of the chest infection & will go away

You are not at all a bad mother. She's 13 - she's not a baby. Sometime you just have to push yourself and that's what she did - to great effect. It won't have made her worse - she would have been ill now whether or not she had gone and now she's got the satisfaction of having done her best in difficult circumstances.

I would have sent her too.

The lady on NHS direct said her son is asthmatic & after 2 days of steroids she would have sent him......he did/does football & as she pointed out that's outside too; she thinks this is a completely new & different bug - not her chest at all, but we will see

She has just had a chest xray this am