Just been told our 3 yr old DS needs adenoids and tonsils out, and grommits fitted :-(

[MrsHelenBee]

AIBU to be so upset for him? He may be approaching 4, and not my only child, but he's my first and he's still (and I suspect probably always will be) my baby, and the thought of him going under the knife is really upsetting.
Has anyone else been through this with a child to have tips/advice on how to talk to him about what's going to happen, how to manage the hospital stay, what to expect after the op, good foods to tempt them with afterwards etc.?
I know it' important he had it done, and I know it will make life so much easier for him, but if I'm wound up, I'm worried he'll get stressed about it.

My ds aged 3 has had 5 general anaesthetics in last 18 months and 3 of those were major surgery. Things we found helped were a book called 'Going to the Hospital' it's an usborne book and is a story about a boy having gromits. Hospital also sent a little story book about having an operation in the post to us beforehand - yours may do the same. We didn't talk about it until 4/5 days before and then just started reading the book at bedtime and briefly mentioning. I pack little toys to take in for afterwards and something new for the morning of the op as he'll be nil by mouth so you need to distract. Good luck x

That's great, thanks! I'll see if I can get the book for sure - DS adores books, so that's a good way in. I have no intention of broaching the subject with him early on, but I think your idea in the few days ahead of going in is really good, with the book to help. We have been told he'll be invited in up to 2 weeks beforehand to see the Children's Ward and for staff to do Pre-Med checks etc, so we may have to start early. Have to wait and see. Great tip re distraction on the day too, thanks.
Your poor little DS, what a brave little chap with serious surgery to deal with at that age - you must be so proud of him! And I hope he's better now

I had this op at 4yo. I don't remember much tbh, other than being in hospital. I remember the sore throats beforehand, and being made to eat toast and crisp the day after the operation. Sadly, the gromit op didn't work for me, and I'm still deaf at 34 but that is rare

Explaining to him beforehand will be a great help towards him understanding what is happening. Keep it calm and matter of fact and I'm sure he'll be fine

I had gromits when I was 4. I still remember being in hospital but have no bad memories whatsoever. When my gromits eventually fell out my mum kept them in a tissue in her purse (which I found amusing!)

Not completely the same op I know, but I was fine and I hope your ds will be too. Maybe try to look on the hospital stay as a bit of an adventure?

Sometimes enlarged tonsils and adenoids are associated with mouth breathing. There is a strong link between small jaws, mouth breathing and glue ear. You might like to look at the websites of the British Society for the Study of Cranio-Mandibular Disorders: criongroup.com and jawache.com. Members are listed by region. A new website: www.righttogrow.org has a lot of information about the orthodontic treatment options - see the Mew's interview. Dr John Mew was my mentor.

My 5yr old had adenoids removed and grommets in just before christmas. He was fine the next day. A bit tired and clingy after the op but apart from that you wouldn't be able to tell.
He was asking to go to school after day 3.

Usborne do that book as a sticker book too, if you want a distraction on the day. ISBN is 9780746099126 for the stickers, 9780746066584 for the standard version. (I'm an Usborne rep.)

Thanks [Ruedewakening], I looked up the book and found the sticker book first, which will be great for him. Think we may get both!
[KissMyFatArse] well done to your DS, what a brave man to spring back so quickly! Bit concerned about the tonsils added into the equation for our DS as he is an incredibly fussy eater due to Sensory Processing Disorder, and wondering how much a raw, bleeding throat will bother him, especially when he only eats dry, crunchy food - OUCH! It will be what it will be I guess.
[CasaVeleta9] that's very interesting. Our DS is and always has been a mouth-breather. The consultant surgeon who saw him on Wednesday watched him playing and smiled, then said "You do have Darth Vader for a son, don't you!" I have no idea if he has a small jaw, he just looks like our DS to, nothing particularly stands out, although he was diagnosed with Brachycephaly when he was a baby (hidden by his hair for the most part). If there are orthodontic treatments, is that suggestive that there can still be problems after the tonsils and adenoids have been removed?

also you could look at food...dairy and wheat causing inflammation and I have heard cutting these things can cure enlarged adenoids. ..worth a try.