Any advice appreciated. ds 5yrs has no bowel control at all both of us getting so upset.

[mummyplonk]

Thanks for reading, I will try to keep it brief, DS 5.5yrs has only ever done one poo on a potty in his life, it was sooo huge it really hurt him and without too many details Dad and I had to assist it coming out. Since then he has always witheld throughout the day and then soiled himself when he was asleep in a nappy. Not so much of a problem when he was 2/3yrs, for the last couple of years he wears pants to school and they are constantly messy when he is home, I clean him and an hour later dirty again, he has no idea that they are dirty and often is in tears with him saying "I cant feel anything"

He is not constipated, at all, stools are not hard and the hospitals first idea of giving him Movocol resulted in even more mess. He sits on the toilet after breakfast, dinner and bath but after 5 minutes just disolves in tears as nothing happens. His most recent appointment at the hospital the doctor admitted she did not know what the problem was but she did examine him and mentioned in her report he had very poor sphinctor control. The children at school are starting to notice, he is becoming embarrassed and I am really worried the hospital hopes he will just grow out of it. Thank you if you have read this far, have any of you had a similar experience or heard of it, it he has no muscle control down there I am obviously thinking eventually he will need an operation.

Very similar story - although I have 3 with similar conditions. Gastro team have been working on causes, but DS2 (6.5) still comes home soiled, DS3 going into reception in September in pull-ups. DS1 (8) has to go when he has to go - regardless - but at least is now more aware of when!
Some advice given to me was if they have an endoscopy - or an internal procedure where they can take biopsies, ask if they can biopsy the muscle tissue. There are conditions that are not solely related to constipation/diarrhoea that cause muscular problems in the sphincter.
Yes, I do think that the hope from the hospital is that they will grow out of it. As awareness of body, size and function of body develops that instances become less frequent. It's not fair on our DCs and I continue to badger anyone I can to help, so that any resulting social stigma is minimised. for you as I understand how helpless you feel when you can't control what is happening to your DS

My dd has this problem IF she has cows milk/yoghurt/ice cream. Otherwise, fine.

Worth cutting it out for a bit?

Thanks for your replies, oh auntevil poor you having 3 different issues to deal with (am wondering if you have discovered Asda £2.50 for 7 pairs of pants too )Next appointment is in October so I will mention a Biopsy, thanks.

Mumsnut, I never thought of a diet issue, the doctor checked the amount of fruit/veh/grain he has etc but he does like milk, yoghurt and Ice cream a lot. Can I ask what you use as a substitute and I will give it a go this weekend.

My DS have already had gastro advised intolerances. DS1 - fructose, sucrose and CMP, DS2 - lactose, DS3 - lactose and gluten. Cutting out helped - but did not sort. Definitely worth checking. For most testing, you need to be still eating the same diet for the tests to show intolerances.
Have you had the stools checked for reducing substances etc? Check that the body is producing the right waste contents?
Yep - DS2 in cheapest of the cheap pants for school
If you do decide to cut down on dairy - keep an eye on calcium content on rest of diet. Dairy free (CMP)- or lactose free (only the sugar in milk) is not too difficult to do. Lots of brands in the shops. If you use ASDA - check their free from range aisle - lactofree milk, spread etc and alpro soya desserts etc.

mummyplonk, we use goats milk (doesn't seem to have the same effect) and soya to some extent, but mostly we don't try and substitute. I do worry about her calcium a bit, but she is a demon for green, leafy veg (in fact all veg) and fish.

my cousin had the exact same thing and she was also intolerant to dairy and wheat. cutting them out stopped the problem

the intolerance can make you constipated, and what you then get is "seepage" around the blockage which the child can't feel coming out, hence the constatnly messy pants

definitely worth trying to either keep a food diary, or cutting things out for a while.
you would want to cut it out for at least 2 weeks as dairy can hang around in the system for a while.
I hope it helps!

forgot to add, 2 of my children can't have dairy either and we use oat milk as an alternative.

I had this problem with my ds now aged 9 we were under a fantastic clinic who investigated him and found nothing medically wrong.
He finally stopped having dirty pants from school in year 2/3.
How I finally sorted it was to not send him into school until he had been to the toilet in his own time, I always made him sit after breakfast I even moved breakfast earlier to give him time but he always seemed to go later in the day even at the weekend.
So we took all pressure to perform off him, when we had identified the time his body seemed to naturally go we started making him sit 15 mins before that time and did a method called'rock and pop' where he leans slightly forward with his feet on a box and rocks and at the same time rubs his tummy.
Eventually after a quite a few weeks we had managed to get a routine of him going before school and emptying his bowels fully, this usually meant he didn't need to go at school which had a huge impact on his self esteem as by now he had gone into juniors and his friends were aware but were very kind to him, we live in a small village with a small school who were happy to work with me, they even bought new toilet seats as they were a bit grim and we thought that might have been part of the problem.
The other thing the school tried was for him to try at school but not in the break times as it was just too busy and noisy and he was rushed so when the other children went back to class after lunch he went to the toilet and was encouraged to just try, when he finally did do a poo at school he seemed much happier about it and it sort of sorted itself out from there.

It was a very distressing time for us all but once we got the support from everyone and it was all out in the open even his friends would leave him quietly in the toilet to get on with it.

Good luck x