My 12 year is painfully shy.

[pandorasof]

Hi, any ideas on how to help my ds. He is 12 and over the past few years he has become really really shy. He won't ask for things in shops, he can't make conversation with anyone other than his close family, he hates anything that involves talking to new people. He hasn't gone on school trips, doesn't go to parties, will not walk to shop for me becasuse he is just so shy. He has always had a problem with communication but its now reached a point where it could effect his life, i feel he's missing out on fun stuff.

He's a clever lad, only has a few similar friends to himself but doens't really social outside of school with them.

He has a younger brother who is 9 and fairly confident.

What can I do to make him more confident???

Thanks

Are you close to your son - would he say that he feels that you understand him?

Is he interested in drama? My dd used to be very, very anxious and shy. Since she's joined drama, she's much more confident and willing to approach shop assistants etc. We role play a situation and I give her phrases to initiate a conversation.

Are you and dh confident and outgoing and does your ds have good sef esteem? What have you been doing so far to boost his confidence?